Advent Celebration – Dec 19th

I just didn’t understand how it worked. Was it Jovian? Terran? Sleeper or some other technology? I had no idea.

Maybe that is why I had such a hard time believing in fairy tales. How could one drunk fat man fit enough gifts in his tiny vehicle, pulled by reindeer of all things (I mean how did they even breathe in space or at such high velocity), manage to travel the entire universe in under 24 hours?

Obviously, Santa Claus was a lie.

DAY 19

PRIZE: ???

TASK: Explain how Santa Claus’ Sleigh works. Present your arguments well in the comments below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Anjerrai Meloanis who has won a PLEX care of CCP. Please email the character name you want this PLEX to go to. Thanks!

I’ve also just noticed I’m almost out of presents! I need donations please!

Advent Celebration – Dec 18th

Less than a week to go, and the misery is over, I thought to myself. It didn’t look as if my attitude towards Christmas was going to change. I knew, deep down, it wouldn’t. How could it? People were hypocrites. Dec 25th would come and go, and I could guarantee you that even on that day of family and celebration there would be those at each other’s throats, screaming and fussing, and even if not, 24 hours later everyone would go back to exactly how they were.

The war wouldn’t stop. The death and violence wouldn’t stop. The enslavement of my people wouldn’t stop. Not because of Christmas.

Christmas was nothing more than an exercise in commercial socialism. People had to participate in the spending of Christmas or be frowned upon by their peers, judged by rules none could quantify, and their perceived worth lowered within in their caste. It might not be a legal or official proclamation, but it was true nonetheless. Christmas was about competition, with coworkers, with family members; who spent the most money on gifts, who had the biggest and best party, etc, etc. It wasn’t as selfless or giving as the media would have us believe.

I was a simple man. I didn’t have room in my life for the complexities and shallow nature of Christmas. And yet somehow, I was ok with myself, and the life I led.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: First of all, I hope everyone had a good chuckle at yesterday’s stories. I know I did. If you didn’t, go back and read them please; they are worth it.

Time is running out! Roc Wieler still doesn’t believe in Christmas Spirit! Today, your task is to interact with Roc directly with respect to your own view of Christmas.

This can be in character, out of character, a mix of the two, whatever you want. It can be happy, sad, angry. For all we know we could be Jewish and support Roc’s position on Christmas. I really don’t know. It’s up to you.

Please post your entries in the comments below, or email them to

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Boy, am I ever late announcing this one. Saw Avatar late last night. Good movie. Today’s winner is Miningzen, whom has won himself a set of posters, care of EON Magazine. Please email your shipping address so I can get these out to you.


PRIZE: $100 US Racial Gift pack from the Eve Online store

TASK: Create a holiday video for your fellow Eve Online players

Advent Celebration – Dec 17th

“Every child grew up with these. They are classic!”

I had been pondering those words for a few days since they were first spoken to me in shock and judgement. Some forget that there was no Christmas for slave children. Every day was simply about surviving until your next meal. I never grew up with the luxuries the Gallenteans had; I didn’t know about the classic kids tales everyone had been going on about when I walked into the conversation.

I had asked innocently about one particular cartoon title, and was then told at great lengths about the wonders of classical animation and how it was simply unheard of for an adult to not be familiar with these. What about my kids? Had they seen them?

Christmas was complicated.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Today you will be submitting a short script/story detailing the next big “classic christmas cartoon”, featuring Roc Wieler of course.

Post your entries in the comments section below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Rettic, whom has won himself a copy of EON Magazine Issue 19 when it comes out!

Advent Celebration – Dec 16th

Christmas was clearly not for me, I thought to myself. I lived my life by rules; I needed structure. The holiday season was chaotic, and seemed to bring out the worst in people. I wondered how family would react to the gifts they received if they knew to what morally questionable lengths their loved ones went to get them, how they mistreated others, shoving, pushing, cursing, filled with impatience at every turn; in their vehicles, in their shopping, everything. It was deplorable.

If any of my pilots were to act the way I had witnessed innumerable civilians act in the name of Christmas, I would have them under court-martial faster than they knew what hit them.

I was losing myself in the madness. I needed order. I needed direction.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Today you will be creating a witty yet insightful Christmas Rule. Not only will the winning rule win today’s prize, it will be featured as an official Roc’s Rule. Post your entry in the comments section below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Song Li, today’s winner! Not only is your quote today going to be an official Roc’s Rule, but you’ve also won yourself a free ad on Capsuleer! Check this LINK out for details. Ignore the ISK part; that’s on us!

Advent Celebration – Dec 15th

“It might do you some good. Maybe it’s just what you need to get that Holiday Spirit going.” my therapist said. It annoyed me that in her political correctness, she called this the Holiday season, or Holiday Spirit, or Holiday this or that. If you were going to talk about Christmas, at least call it what it was.

“Alright doc; I’ll give it a try.” I said, already feeling uncomfortable, as was typical with most any suggestion she would make.

I almost didn’t want to leave my quarters that day. At least then I wouldn’t have to think of a unique and individual way to state my appreciation for each and person I met, as my therapist had suggested. Go Christmas Spirit!


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Yep, you guessed it. You’re going to verbally give your unique and individual appreciation to every person you meet today ingame. And you’re going to provide screenshots to me in the comments below, or at, as evidence of your niceness.

I will be announcing today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Tragically, not a single entrant for today’s contest. It only reinforces the inherent cynicism I’ve always known capsuleers to have. Even for a prize, we aren’t willing to wish our fellow pod pilots a friendly greeting.

This is the first time one of our contests has defaulted. Consulting Roc’s Rulebook, it would appear that PyjamaSam receives today’s default prize, one lump of coal in his stocking!

Advent Celebration – Dec 14th

“What do you want for Christmas, Colonel?”

The question literally stunned me. I honestly hadn’t given any thought to receiving gifts; I had been so caught up in the pursuit of joy from giving. How was one supposed to actually ask for a gift? Didn’t that inherently defeat the premise? A gift was a reward for a good boy’s behaviour, not something demanded in advance? To me it was like asking for the promotion in advance of doing one’s duty; it just wasn’t done.

Maybe I still had this Christmas thing messed up.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: What do you think would be the best present for Matar Colonel Roc Wieler, and why? Post in the comments below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Swearte Widfarend, whom has won a PLEX, care of CCP! I would also like to express sincere gratitude to the many wonderful and suitable ideas everyone came up with today. It really makes me feel good to know that Roc has developed such a rich and engaging backstory of his own that readers of this blog are actually able to know the man on a deep and personal level.


PRIZE: $100 US Racial Gift pack from the Eve Online store

TASK: Create a holiday video for your fellow Eve Online players

Advent Celebration – Dec 13th

What a party that turned out to be. Not a body went hungry, not a glass went empty. In what was cynical expectation on my part, of the dozens that said repeatedly they wouldn’t miss the occasion for anything, less than a dozen actually showed up. Yet my bitterness ended up not mattering, as a wonderful time was had by all.

As the evening continued on I came to a very sobering and humbling realization about my friends. Though many of them had few things in common, and they all came from different walks of life, the commonality between them was sincerity.

All of my friends were genuine and real people. They was so no duplicity, backstabbing, or fakeness in any of them.

For that, I realized just how very grateful and fortunate I was, and as my heart filled to three times its normal size, I thought maybe I had started to stumble upon what Christmas Spirit was truly about. It wasn’t about the gifts, or the spending; it was about creating and sharing memories with those dear to your heart. And while I thought I was lacking in the means to enjoy the season’s festivities, I had never been so thankful to be proven wrong.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: We’ve been doing many things for this contest series, some funny, some not, but today is a good day for me overall, so today I would like to see everyone share their fondest Christmas memory.

Post in the comments below, or email me at Today’s winner will be announced at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to James, today’s winner, whom has will be featured in the next Epic Celebrity Deathmatch against Nashh Kadavr, to be podcast in 2010!

Advent Celebration – Dec 12th

It wasn’t that I minded all the parties associated with Christmas, not at all. Any good Brutor welcomed the chance to drink their face off. It was more that while I enjoyed the company of my brethren, I really didn’t have many Minmatar friends. Sure, I knew a lot of Matari, but most were  under my command and not really friends.

It seemed that night was my turn to host the festivities, and the party itself was being thrown in my honour. To me, it was a lot of pressure to live up to, but looking back I am thankful for learning both how to be a gracious host, and how to interact better in social gatherings. These traits served me well in later years.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Yeah, so I suck at Christmas, and at parties. Today’s task is to come up with some fun and engaging Christmas party activities/games that will amuse and entertain my guests tonight.

I will need to announce the winner early tonight, and I apologize for that. I will announce tonight’s winner at 6 PM EST.

Thanks to everyone for coming up with some fantastic ideas quickly. Today’s randomly selected winner (I am stating that now as someone thought maybe it was by favourtism) is Rettic, whom has won himself a 50% off code from LoneTrek Hosting, a really good hosting solution provided by a really genuine Eve player who simply wanted to offer better services to those in need of them.

Congratulations to Rettic, and depending on how exactly hungover I am, I’ll see you all tomorrow.

Advent Celebration – Dec 11th

One would have thought that with all the recipes at my disposal that coming up with a holiday feast for my crew would’ve been a simple task. I wanted to make this gesture of goodwill towards them. I wanted to eat, drink and be merry. I grumbled. I couldn’t feed them whole stuffed camel, or any of the other countless recipes I had in my possession. It had to be Christmas turkey with all the trimmings.

Maybe I should have just ordered in.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Occasionally at Roc’s Ramblings, we like to post recipes. Your task today is to post your fondest Christmas recipe in the comments section below, or email it to me at

Please try to duplicate the format I use when posting recipes, to keep it easy for my readers. If you’re unfamiliar with any of Roc’s Recipes, click that section over on the right hand bar and take a look.

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Webspaceships whom has won himself a copy of Serenity Steele’s Eve Strategic Maps Book from EON Magazine!

Advent Celebration – Dec 10th

“I’ll think about it.” she said, referring to an earlier conversation we had engaged in regarding the exchanging of Christmas gifts. Sarasfox seemed sincere, yet as I continued my quest for Christmas spirit I found myself still feeling hollow inside.

It was so loud on the station promenade I could hardly hear myself think. It was chaotic, unrelenting, worse than any ground warfare stories I had heard with the exception of the deaths of course. My thoughts turned to Daul Halwick, to Mynxee, to all those that had once been dear to me. Christmas was supposedly a time of family and friends; aside from PyjamaSam (whom I hadn’t seen in months), I couldn’t think of a single soul that I could call “friend”.

I held a personal massager in my hand. It was on sale. I didn’t know if it was something Sarasfox would like, so I decided to ask one of the many lurking women around, a slightly older, plumper lady looking through discount underwear.

“Excuse me,” I began. “Sorry to trouble you, but I’m not very good at this.” I smiled awkwardly, and she smiled back in silent understanding. I showed her the massage device and asked her if it was an appropriate gift for a woman I barely knew.

She looked at it, then at me, then frowned her brow, harumphed, and walked away. I received similar reactions from the next four women I asked, completely oblivious as to what I was doing to garner such hostility. I was being polite, friendly even, with what I thought was the right amount of boyish charm. Apparently I was wrong. Finally, one younger Achura girl let me in on my mistake.

“You’re cute, but not so smart hun. That’s a vibrator.” She smiled coyly at me, but I didn’t even notice the sudden wanton flirtation in her gaze.

With growing horror, I stared at the long cylindrical device in my hand, suddenly with abject disgust, and dropped it to the store floor, walking as far away from it as quickly as I could.

What a messed up holiday this Christmas is, I thought to myself.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Today’s task is to post a picture of the most “hidden yet obvious” sexual Christmas gift you can find. What I mean by this is not to link to pictures of sexual toys, not at all. Rather, find what is considered an “innocent” gift that is obviously sexual in nature.

Post your links in the comments below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

I really want to thank all of today’s entrants, as I received a lot of funny images of clearly crazy toys. What were these manufacturers thinking?

Congratulations to 343guilty1, whom has won himself an autographed glossy print of Roc Wieler! (thunderous applause)