Advent Celebration – Dec 9th

I was quickly growing tired of all the stories, recipes, embarrassing memories, and general camaraderie of the season. It was all a facade.

By complete accident I got inbetween two small women fighting over the last of an item in a shop on the promenade. I honestly have never felt more threatened for my life than I did at that moment. I’m a short man, but a solid man, yet these women bounced me around like a rag doll. Christmas spirit indeed. Hmmph.

Still, I wasn’t ready to give up hope. I knew I was too cynical for my own good, and that I needed to grow as a person. Christmas was a perfect opportunity for that.

My therapist concurred. She would.

By the way, I ended up with the item the two women were fighting over. I won’t go into the details of it, but it did make my Christmas season a little merrier.

ADVENT DAY 9

PRIZE: ???

TASK: Today’s task is super simple, and you may have some curiousity based on the Twitter logo in today’s blog banner. So let’s get to the point.

Today you will “follow” me on Twitter, and send a quick festive greeting to @RocWieler. That’s it. Told you it was simple, didn’t I.

Did I mention I will be copy/pasting ever Twitter comment for today’s task into the blog post? Yeah, I will, so make it memorable.

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Today’s winner is autumnn_aether! Congratulations! You will be co-hosting an upcoming Missions Collide podcast! Please email me at adventcelebration@gmail.com with your character name, and I will make sure to get you in touch with Song Li of Missions Collide!

ADVENT TWITTER

R_Javorsky Merry Christmas, @RocWieler! Hope you don’t get too much coal. 😉

rwfloydjr @RocWieler Roc, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I am sure that will involve many Amarr wrecks and bloodshed. 🙂

Jaggins_EVE @RocWieler Happy Yule!

Galen_Druid @RocWieler Happy Holidays my friend!!!  #tweetfleet @eveonline

kiithilurin Merry Christmas! @RocWieler ‘Tis the season to be jolly. May the halls ring with autocannon volley. 🙂

Jagerda @RocWieler Have a Merry Christmas! Hope your stocking is stuffed with many enemy pods.

kirithkodachi @RocWieler Happy Holidays to a fellow Canuck!

autumnn_aether @RocWieler Happy Festivus!

alaguspirate Festivus for the rest of us! RT @autumnn_aether: “@RocWieler Happy Festivus!”

lfxbones @RocWieler merry Xmas and happy new year enjoy this festive time

Paxeh @RocWieler Happy Holidays Roc! Maybe you can try to overload twitter with this Christmas cheer.

evepilot @RocWieler Merry Christmas Roc. May that lump of coal in your stocking refine into endless millions of trit.

WebSpaceships @RocWieler Merry Christmas to all, and to all some good fights

JamesSp RT @WebSpaceships: @RocWieler Merry Christmas to all, and to all some good fights.

wensley @RocWieler Enjoy the Amarrian festive season.

Rettic @RocWieler I’m so in the holiday spirit, I set you to “red”…festive colors! Meet me in Provi for shiny New Years fireworks. 🙂 #eveonline

Thorvik_EVE @RocWieler Merry Christmas may you finally catch up to the Amarrian Capsuleer Claus and pwn his sleighAgeddon

SawnAconite @RocWieler Merry Christmas Col Wieler. May the fat Amarrian in red bring you much spiced quafe and exotic dancers!

jorshan Happy Holidays @RocWieler. May the lights shine especially bright for you and yours this holiday season.

AMuleInEvE @rocwieler I hope u get 2 run around and blast away many of the Amarr, so many that it becomes like the ‘whack a mole’ game! Merry Christmas

ClydeJr @RocWieler May your holidays be bright and cheery, sorta like an exploding Amarr battleship #eveonline

TehMasterSword @RocWieler  Merry Christmas Roc! I know you will catch that evil “Santa” soon enough! Let that firms know what your autocannons can do!

Tygoka @RocWieler Heres hoping your stocking is stuffed with amarrian slaver killmails!

Advent Celebration – Dec 8th

Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul, With a corncob pipe and a button nose And two eyes made out of coal.
Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale, they say, He was made of snow but the children Know how he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in that Old silk hat they found. For when they placed it on his head He began to dance around.
O, Frosty the snowman Was alive as he could be, And the children say he could laugh And play just the same as you and me.
Thumpetty thump thump, Thumpety thump thump, Look at Frosty go.
Thumpetty thump thump, Thumpety thump thump, Over the hills of snow.

My expression didn’t change at the fool standing before me, dancing around, gesturing vividly with his hands as he continued to regale me with the tale of Frosty the Snowman. I stood with my arms crossed in the corner of the turbo lift, already regretting going to the station promenade for some shopping. I had to admit, I liked his thick red wool, emblazoned with stitched candy canes, obviously made by grandma sweater. It just added to his badass image.

ADVENT DAY 8

PRIZE: ???

TASK: Find a messed up holiday tradition, explaining its true origin to us. For example, the christmas tree, celebrated by all, is actually part of the druidic winter solstice festival, which runs very contrary to the Christian faith, and yet how many Bible believing homes have a Christmas tree every year? That’s messed up.

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Today’s winner is Weslon, whom has won a PLEX, care of CCP. Congrats! See you all again tomorrow.

Advent Celebration – Dec 7th

Carols were first sung in Europe thousands of years ago, but these were not Christmas Carols. They were pagan songs, sung at the Winter Solstice celebrations as people danced round stone circles. The Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year, usually taking place around the 22nd December. The word Carol actually means dance or a song of praise and joy! Carols used to be written and sung during all four seasons, but only the tradition of singing them at Christmas has really survived!

Advent Day 7

PRIZE: ???

TASK: Your task today is to embrace the tradition of old and sing a merry song! That’s right, you heard correctly. It can just be you into a microphone, song and vocals, humming, anything that makes a sound and came from your body!

Post your links to your festive handiwork in the comments below, or email them to adventcelebration@gmail.com.

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Only two entrants today, but in all honesty, both entries were fantastic! I didn’t expect this level of effort so seriously well done!

Hallan Turrek, with his angelic voice, and Yakshamash with his sultry rythmns, are both today’s contest winners!

Hallan has won himself a digital copy of One Night of Roc.

Yakshamash has won himself a digital copy of Bio.

Please make sure I have both of your emails at adventcelebration@gmail.com and I will set things up for you.

Advent Celebration – Dec 6th

What we know about the monstrous Amarr capsuleer Santa Claus:

  • It’s gluttonously overweight.
  • It makes use of undernourished, growth stunted slaves to do Its bidding year round.
  • It smokes (a pipe).
  • It drinks (rosy cheeks).
  • It dresses in blood red.
  • It is immortal, as far as we know (clone technology).
  • It only appears at night, flying through planetary atmospheres with horned beasts at Its command.
  • It uses some unknown warp technology to infiltrate trillions of homes in one night.
  • It is not afraid of fire or heat (in chimneys, for instance) or cold for that matter.
  • It has beady, coal-black eyes (all pupil, maybe, or perhaps insect-like).
  • Its bloated midsection wiggles like gelatin (an undead substance made of decaying animal parts).
  • It is sometimes called “Old Nick” (which pretends to refer to St. Nicholas, but is really a nickname of the Devil).
  • Its name is an anagram of Satan Lucas, which sounds very sinister to me (“the Light of Satan”?).
  • It spreads Its message of greed and gluttony on the very eve of the celebration of Christ’s birth.
  • Indeed, many children believe in Satan Lucas many years before ever learning of the “true meaning of Christmas”, and even then the “true meaning” is largely ignored, and the evil rites are passed on to another generation.
  • There is a song about It which begins, “You’d better watch out…”
  • Its minions, an elaborate network of spying adults, keep tabs on your behavior throughout the year, and postal services of the universe dutifully deliver reports to It.

In short, Santa Claus is an evil conniving Amarr, who has become powerful enough to control the economy, tempt people to do very wicked actions (all cloaked in “holiday spirit”), and battle Jesus for control of his own birthday. The cult of Satan Lucas is growing rapidly. Children are being programmed to be evil minions when they become adults. Ritual sacrifices of innocent milk and cookies are offered up to Its obesity. Depression, crime, and suicides increase during the Christmas hellidays, and no wonder.

Protect yourself. Do not invite this demon into your home. Take down your stockings. Burn Hanukkah candles to ward It off. Do not give anyone gifts! This practice only makes It stronger.

ADVENT DAY 6

PRIZE: ???

TASK: With so many mythical beings surrounding the holiday season, let’s add one more. Your task today is to take an existing holiday writing (poem, carol, etc), and convert it into something New Eden, specifically mentioning Roc.

Please post your submissions into the comments below or by emailing me at adventcelebration@gmail.com.

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Anjerrai Meloanis, who has won a PLEX, care of CCP! Please send me an email by clicking on the picture of me on the right, or by using the gmail.com link above.

Advent Celebration – Dec 5th

What did you get for Christmas? Was it something nice?
I’m sitting here in Casualty, my face is packed with ice.

I dread it every Christmas, they never give me toys,
Daddy will get drunk again, his nights out with the boys.

I know he doesn’t mean it,  he’s far to drunk to know,
He hits me hard for nothing, and bruises always show.

A Christmas to remember, the policemen had to call,
They took my Dad away this time, he said I’d had a fall.

He’s really done it this time, an ambulance had to come,
That’s why I’m sitting here in Casualty, waiting with me Mum.

Sometimes life is unfair. We all know this. So what is it that keeps us holding onto hope? Why do we search for better days, better meaning in every breath?

In the end we’re very temporal creatures, even capsuleers. Eventually, we will breathe our last, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; and in the grand scheme of the universe, we are but a speck of sand on a vast beach, meaningless and inconsequential.

Ho ho ho!

ADVENT DAY 5

PRIZE: ???

TASK: Not much time left today to complete the task. Again, life is unfair. Today’s task is to help a noob in the harsh universe that is EVE Online. Have your noob send confirmation via screenshot, copy and paste dialogue, or however you can verify your help, and have them post here in the comments or email me at adventcelebration@gmail.com

I will be announcing today’s winner at 10 PM EST, as always.

Sorry for the late announcement of today’s winner… Hallan Turrek!

Hallan has won himself 100 million in poker chips at Eve Online Hold’em. Hackzor has won himself 50 million isk, care of yours truly.

Advent Celebration – Dec 4th

Of all the life lessons, vulnerable confessions, subtle nuances, humour and more I like to think are in my memoirs, my journal of my past adventures, I still shake my head and smile at the things some of my readers pick up on.

“Hey Roc, in that Advent Contest story where you drank egg nog, do you have a recipe for it?”

Well, I was trying to illustrate my growth and understanding of Christmas, and to stay in that none judgemental light, I suppose I am thankful that people remember anything of my stories at all.

So, here is the eggnog recipe. Enjoy.

Military Eggnog

INGREDIENTS:

  • 6 large eggs, plus 2 yolks
  • 1/2 cup, plus 2 Tablespoons sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 4 cups whole milk
  • 1/2 cup dark rum
  • 1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg
  • 1/4 cup heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks
  • Additional grated nutmeg for garnish

METHOD:

  1. Combine eggs, egg yolks, sugar, and salt in a heavy 3- or 4-quart pan, whisking until well-combined.
  2. Continue whisking while pouring milk in a slow, steady stream until completely incorporated.
  3. Turn on burner to lowest possible heat setting. Place pan on burner and stir mixture continuously until thermometer reaches 160 degrees F. and the mixture thickens enough to coat the back of a spoon. Be patient. This should take about 25 to 30 minutes.
  4. Strain mixture through a fine sieve into a large bowl to remove any accidental small cooked bits of egg.
  5. Add dark rum, plus vanilla extract and nutmeg.
  6. Stir to combine.
  7. Pour into a glass pitcher, decanter, or container and cover with a lid or plastic wrap.
  8. Refrigerate this egg custard mixture to chill at least 4 hours or up to 3 days before finishing.
  9. When ready to serve, pour heavy cream into a bowl and whip until it forms soft peaks.
  10. Fold whipped cream into cold custard mixture until combined.
  11. Serve in chilled cups or glasses and garnish with a sprinkle of nutmeg.

Serves 12 – 16

ADVENT DAY 4

PRIZE: ???

TASK: One aspect of Christmas is making new friends. Everybody needs friends, even the good Colonel, Roc Wieler. So today’s task is to have as many of your friends as possible wish me a Merry Christmas, via email at adventcelebration@gmail.com or in the comments section below. Make sure they reference you, or how will I know they aren’t entering for themselves?

For example: “Yo Roc! All the best killing Amarr over the holidays, love fanboi14, friend of Sard Caid.”

The catch is this, at 10 PM EST I will see who has provided the most friend comments today and that person AND one of their randomly chosen friends will each win a prize.

Ain’t Christmas grand?

Congratulation to today’s winner, Wensley! Wensley has won himself a copy of Serenity Steel’s Eve Strategic Map book, courtesy of EON Magazine.

Additionally, Jaralaxle Tam has won himself a set of Dark Tide & Caldari Cruisers posters from EON Magazine.

I will need both Wensley and Jaralaxle Tam to email me your real life shipping information at adventcelebration@gmail.com.

My best to the both of you, and I’ll see everyone tomorrow.

Advent Celebration – Dec 3rd

Signs you’ve had too much holiday cheer:

  1. You strike a match and light your nose.
  2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
  3. You hear a duck quacking and it’s you.
  4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
  5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
  6. You hear someone say, “Call a priest!”
  7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
  8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
  9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
  10. You tell everyone you have to go home… and the party’s at your place.
  11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
  12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
  13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room… and realize you’re in front of the hall mirror.
  14. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
  15. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.

Parties. Well wishes. Sometimes a guy just wanted to be left well enough alone.

Yet there I stood, holding a small glass of something called egg nog, wearing a red fuzzy hat with white trim, listening to the most ridiculous music I had ever heard.

I stood stiff, uncomfortable, not smiling, not amused. I couldn’t even remember why I had said yes when asked if I would be attending the TLF Christmas party.

I had assumed it would be tribal. I had hoped it would be a fierce celebration of our heritage as Matari. I was so very wrong.

Someone shoved a small, boxed gift into my hands, and with a bright, toothy smile wished me a Merry Christmas. I nearly punched him in the face.

ADVENT DAY 3

As promised, here is the current remaining prize list for Roc’s Advent Celebration:

  • a domination assault missile launcher
  • 50% off Code for LoneTrek Hosting
  • 3 Months Free Code for LoneTrek Hosting
  • 1 co-host on Missions Collide podcast
  • 1 podcast interview with CrazyKinux
  • 1 free ad on Capsuleer
  • 1 EON #017
  • 1 Eve Strategic Maps book
  • 1 Set of EON posters. Dark Tide & Caldari Cruisers
  • 1 Profile of your character in #019 (out April 2010), written by Zapatero. Feel the love 🙂
  • 1 EON #18 (out Jan 2010)
  • 100 million isk in Eve Online Hold’Em poker chips
  • 1 copy of “Mentally Incontinent” a book by Joe Peacock LINK
  • Fully T2 Fit Hulk Exhumer
  • 6x PLEX from CCP (5 remaining)
  • $100 racial gift pack from the EVE Store, care of CCP
  • 1 headsup game of EOH Poker against Hellcats CEO, Mynxee. Winner will take away up to $200 million ISK if they are lucky.
  • Be featured in the next Epic Celebrity Deathmatch against Nashh Kadavr, to be podcast in 2010
  • 1 autographed Roc Wieler poster
  • hopefully more to come!

PRIZE: ???

TASK: We all have embarassing Christmas moments. Today you’re going to share yours in the comments section below, or by emailing adventcelebration@gmail.com. Please include your character name when emailing.

I will compile all of today’s entries at 10 PM EST, and randomly draw a winner for today’s mystery prize.

Congratulations to Jorshan on winning today’s prize, a signed copy of Mentally Incontinent, by Joe Peacock.

Here is Jorshan’s embarrassing Christmas moment:

We have a special place in our hearts for the lady who introduced my wife and I to each other. She has two children, a boy and a girl
(we’ll call them John and Kristy for the purposes of this article),
and they are now both grown up and have lives of their own. My wife had for years earlier taken care of her children, and since then I’ve grown to be quite fond of them too, and they are considered part of our family. At the point of the tale, we had recently had our son (he was about 10 months old), and my oldest daughter was roughly 12.

A few years ago, the oldest son (John) was studying to be a fireman and was taking classes up near where we lived, so John decided to come visit us for Christmas. He asked if he could bring his new girlfriend along so we could meet her, and we all thought it would be great to meet her and see him for the holidays. Let me first explain he has a bit of a wild streak in him and loves practical jokes and other sorts of crazy antics like that.

John showed up with gifts for all of us, and we had the mad Christmas present opening of all our gifts. I was working on mine, standing up in front of the sofa adjacent to the tree while I unwrapped the box. Evidently John had snuck up behind me, grabbed my shorts, and yanked. I think he was intending to pull off my shorts, but instead pulled off my shorts – and underwear.

So there I was. Next to the tree, shorts and tighty whiteys around my ankles in front my family (wife, daughter, infant son) and John and his new girlfriend staring at me while I was porky pigging it (think about that one for a moment – I’ll wait).

I will always remember that moment. I turned beet red of course.
Meanwhile everyone laughed like hell. I know what those cartoon
characters feel like that have just lost their pants (except for Porky – somehow he doesn’t mind), and inch slowly away out of the frame. I pulled my shorts back up, and tried to look normal. All of us (including me) couldn’t stop laughing about it for quite some time after that.

We still laugh about that moment now from time to time. I just feel sorry for John’s girlfriend, she got more than she bargained for during her Christmas visit.

And you know, what I can never remember is what I actually got for Christmas from John…

Advent Celebration – Dec 2nd

The Nicest Present – by Joanna and Karl Fuchs

Under the tree the gifts enthrall,
But the nicest present of them all
Is filling our thoughts with those who care,
Wanting our Christmas joy to share.
To you, whom we’re often thinking of,
We send our holiday joy and love.

Giving. It was such a contrary thought to most of the pilots of New Eden. The harsh life this universe enforced upon us was about taking, often by any means necessary, that which you wanted, needed, cherished. To voluntarily give was a difficult concept for most capsuleers; some even stumbling on the word itself.

Giving. Who would’ve thought it would’ve been such a monumental concept to grasp?

There were some that had proven the ability to overcome the self-centered stereotypes associated with our kind, offering up not just items worth millions of ISK, but even offering up something more valuable and irreplaceable; their time.

My comm received a steady stream of incoming messages from pod pilots embracing the idea of Christmas giving, and had made several generous donations to help in the Advent Celebration.

I was thankful for the continued support from our community, proud to be a capsuleer, and hoped that what we could give back might instill even the smallest emotional and spiritual reprise from the bloody wars that surrounded us all.

ADVENT DAY 2

PRIZE: ???

TASK: In the spirit of Christmas sharing, today’s task is to submit a photo of “The most creative use of a candy cane with a complete stranger.” Who knows? Maybe we might even make some new friends.

Either post a link to your submissions in today’s comments, or in the spirit of fairness to those reading from Capsuleer, and to cover all timezones, email your entries to adventcelebration@gmail.com

I will compile all of today’s entries at 10 PM EST, and randomly draw a winner for today’s mystery prize.

Why a mystery prize? I decided it was more advent like. You never know what you will open behind that little door. Is it chocolate? Is it another PLEX? Is it the $100 racial gift package from the EVE Online Store? Only way to find out is to participate.

TODAY’S WINNER!

Holiday Stickup – Sard Caid

Congratulations to Sard Caid for winning today’s prize, 1 Profile of your character in EON Magazine #019 (out April 2010), written by Zapatero. Feel the love 🙂

I will forward your email contact information to Zapatero immediately.

Advent Celebration – Dec 1st

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow… the moon on the breast … on the …
Sorry, what?

I hated Christmas. It was one of those contrived and made up excuses for corporate commercialism to profit from those weak and pathetic enough to feel the intrinsic need to “bond” with family and friends they otherwise wouldn’t talk to. Of course, bonding in this case meant spending hard earned money on overpriced crap nobody wanted in the first place.

Capsuleers didn’t suffer from this ailment.

Space was a lonely place. Living forever only added to the isolation we already experienced. I could rant about this for days on end without fail, but oddly, my heart was stuck on the topic I just scorned; Christmas.

What was it about that holiday in particular that brought out the best in people? What drove us to such great lengths to experience some piece of humanity, some yearning to reach out to each other?

Was it the religious aspect? The time off work? Was it the inherent need for real and meaningful relationships that many believed was a fundamental part of our existence?

I didn’t know. I didn’t care.

My heart wouldn’t let the topic go.

I had been told that part of Christmas was the joy of giving; that by simply giving of one’s self to another without expected return was one of the greatest experiences of the season. Christmas Spirit I believe it was called.

Fine.

Let’s start there. Let’s embrace Christmas and partake of the festivities that so many go on about.

Each and every day on the Advent Calendar (December 1 – December 24), I’m going to give away Christmas gifts. Some will be tangible. Others will not be. All will be given with the spirit of the season.

I hope you participate. I hope you enjoy.

ADVENT DAY 1

PRIZE: 1 PLEX donated from CCP.

TASK: Be the first to provide a link to a “death by snowball launcher” killmail in the comments of today’s blog and you win.

The winner will need to email me the character name to receive the PLEX, as it will be added to the hangar of the station you currently occupy when the PLEX is awarded, or if you aren’t docked, the last station you docked at.