TWO YEARS AGO
Nephew: Marcus Uncle, are you really Superman?
Me: I am, but you can’t tell anyone.
Me: Because if anyone knows, it will put everyone I love in danger, including you, mom and dad.
Nephew: Ok. I can still wear my (Superman) shirt, right?
Me: Always. (smile)
My bucket list? Beer and ice.
How to treat others? There are no others.
Impress a blind world.
You look like I need a beer.
Fart when someone hugs you. It will make them feel strong.
Always proofread before sending. If you’ve started with “Dear dumbasses”, you may need to take a breath and carefully re-evaluate your life choices.