Advent Celebration – Dec 19th

I just didn’t understand how it worked. Was it Jovian? Terran? Sleeper or some other technology? I had no idea.

Maybe that is why I had such a hard time believing in fairy tales. How could one drunk fat man fit enough gifts in his tiny vehicle, pulled by reindeer of all things (I mean how did they even breathe in space or at such high velocity), manage to travel the entire universe in under 24 hours?

Obviously, Santa Claus was a lie.

DAY 19

PRIZE: ???

TASK: Explain how Santa Claus’ Sleigh works. Present your arguments well in the comments below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Anjerrai Meloanis who has won a PLEX care of CCP. Please email the character name you want this PLEX to go to. Thanks!

I’ve also just noticed I’m almost out of presents! I need donations please!

12 responses to “Advent Celebration – Dec 19th

  1. Santa, and his sleigh are equipped with a parallel universe transmodifier. It’s a high slot item and takes loads of CPU and cap to run. What this mod does is take his sleigh and multiply himself into infinate universes in which be only has to visit a single house in that parallel universe. When the modual is turned off, it brings all the universes together into the same universe and combines everything and everyone. Since he only visits a single house in any given universe the presents are also brought into the one verse with presents under every tree. The rest of his low slots are fit with CPU co-processors and the mids are filled with large cap boosters and rechargers. Hooray for iPhones!

  2. Santa’s sleigh is actually a Jovian planetary air vessel, capable of speeds we can hardly imagine. Santa’s sleigh includes an onboard manufacturing device that is able to create the most complicated item in a matter of seconds. Therefore he doesn’t actually have to pre-make the toys, he only has to enter who gets what. Then, while he is flying around in his Jovian sleigh, he makes the toys and gifts. The sleigh also includes a teleportaton device that allows Santa to instantly transport the gifts under the tree without actually having to land. It’s far more advanced than anything we can imagine and also allows him to teleport multiple gifts into multiple houses. What we refer to as reindeer are actually the implants in Santa’s clone that allow him to operate the vessel so quickly.

  3. Santa’s sleigh comes pre-equiped with a light speed teleporter capable of sending it unimaginal speeds. This machine comes into play thanks to the Jovians. The sleigh travels so fast that it stops/ rewinds time when activated to save time for santa’s long trip. He makes his runs though the galaxy in a circular order which also saves time. The reindeer are just the front of the ship which looks like reindeer flying with sparkling feet but really is the engines and boosters of the ship.

  4. To add on to mine, he gets all his pesents from having a devise onboard that teleports presents from his homeplanet under the Christmas trees of the homes of good children. Same method works for bad kids and coal. So he really doesn’t put the present onto his sleigh.

  5. It runs on a combination of unobtanium, friendship and goodwill. According to the scientist in my head, the sack contains a pocket dimension and small wormholes are induced in the frame. What you see as he flies by isn’t him flying, it’s him falling sideways comparability to us.

  6. Santas sleigh is actually indeed a lie. What it is, is not one ship, but an entire fleet, dozens of ships for each region (extra for jita) with all expanded cargoholds and astronomic rigs, and of course, high tech cloaking devices that allow these Santa pilots to fly within an even dock still cloaked, and land on the planets. Why have we not seen him IN station? Because CCP has been given extra gifts to not develop in station walking and thus we haven’t seen it yet. (Sneaky CCP) all the Rigs are modfied from regular and were given the name “Reinder” as with the rest of the equipment, such as afterburners and microwarp drives. The cargoholds are “santas sack” and he has renamed this super-fitted hauler as “Santas Sleigh”. His operations are hidden throughout the universe but primarily in null sec to avoid detection (ironic that almost everyone in null doesn’t get presents) his safe passage is not by jump gate, as there are none leading to it, but these
    sleighs have jump drive capabilities, so that only they may get into “Santas workshop” as the system is called. That the gist of it, I invaded once, and was quickly driven out, but I found out all of the above, unfortunatly I got no presents that year for my deeds but it was well worth it.

  7. The original santa clause was an old story from the 21st century, before the collapse of the eve gate. Some jolly fat git with stuff wrapped in pictured paper would break into your home and insert these alien gifts under your tree and into your socks drying on the lit hearth. Seems rather nonsensical. Many questions have been asked about how and even why santa did this.

    I hypothesize that the santa is some form of a clone, maybe he is the origin of clone technology and not the jovians? The sleigh is shielded with an atmospheric spatial bubble, allowing him to breathe. This also protects him from the dangers of outer space The reigndeer must be artificial, either android or cyborg, able to interface with an advanced and compact form of gate technology allowing him to travel from planet to planet at incredible speed. This also would account for their inability to breathe. The gifts are another unusual trick, employing spatial wormhole generation technology to connect him to an artificial, hollow planet where gifts are stored and retrieved by robot arms and conveyors. The milk and cookies are fuel for the reindeer and sleigh.

    Or maybe our parents just stayed up late to sneak them from the attic under the tree.

    Magnus Dreygon, the not so bright civere combat pilot.

  8. This will be in 2 seperate e-mails first one is for the post second one is just for fun.

    Santas personal warp negotiator aka the PWN as we call it in the biz. Was developed during the cold war by the Swiss. With them being neutral and all they needed to take the tecnolqgy and hide it. The best place, right in the open. Sense there are so few people who still believed that Santa still exists who would beleve that there was a vehicle capable of warp speeds and carting a man of over 400 lbs in a certain amount of comfort. So the plan was put into place the scientists went on to develop the Swiss army knife and Santa got the pwn the rest is history

  9. Colonel Wieler,

    I understand that this post is too late to receive the prize for today; however, I still felt it imperative to inform you of what we in Tiph’arah Corp have found out about the entity you call “Santa Claus”. For the past few months, Tiph’arah has been attempting to identify people with the description that has been documented as Santa Claus and found that while the basic clothing description is consistent, we have been able to confirm a number of individuals wearing what we can only consider a uniform. It is our conclusion that there is a corporation working in New Eden.

    One of our best teams succeeded in infiltrating one of a vast network of corporate owned stations. These stations seem to be hidden by a cloaking device. We learned of the cloaking signature and our scanning crews have been able to identify 35 of these stations in Gallente space and over 50 in Amarrian and Caldari space. We believe these stations act as hubs for the infamous “Christmas Deliveries”. In the stations, our spies found multiple “open air” hovercrafts designated “S-Class”. Our R&D department worked tirelessly to reverse engineer the modules and fittings on the hovercraft we smuggled out of the station. We found that there was a cargo hold that digitized the items as they were inserted, cataloging them to specific recipients. We attempted to reproduce this module, but to no avail. We also discovered a small jump drive that didn’t require a cono-field to make the jump.

    The corporation consists of Industrialists of phenomenal caliber hailing from all over the universe. They produce miniaturized items from technologies that our top analysts had never heard of. Everything from planet bound vehicles that run on strips of steel to lifeless clones specially designed for females. In our search to answer “how can the deliveries be made in a 24 hour period of time?”, we sent our best pilots to run speed tests. They have been able to make regional runs in less than 24 hours; however, in light of the multiple stations, and given the size of the S-Class vessels, the only question not answered is, “How do the recipients get their items on time?”

    While preparing this report for you, I received what seems to be our final transmission from the brave infiltration team. They have given me the identity of the corporation, but the security codes were not received before the transmission ended. The corp name is “Santa Claus” and the ticker is [StNk].

    I hope this answers some of your questions.

    With honor,

    Mithrandir Stormcrow
    Chief Ecclesiarch Officio
    Tiph’arah Corporation [TIPH]

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