Advent Celebration – Dec 23rd

I looked down at the contract again. It was signed Miranda Tenoba, a capsuleer Hauler pilot whom had not only decided to hopefully donate a Navy Comet to the Advent Celebration if it was within her means, but also had a “mystery ship” enroute to me in Dal.

She had decided even I deserved a Christmas gift.

I smiled. That smile remained all day.


PRIZE: Well, these last two days we’ve got a lot of stuff to give away still. Here’s the list:

  • $100 Racial Theme Pack from the EVE Online Store
  • Mystery Fit Retribution
  • 1 Dramiel
  • 1 Rupture
  • T2 Shield Purgers Arbitrator
  • 1 Scythe
  • 1 Rifter
  • 1 Year Free Hosting at LoneTrek hosting
  • 20,000 units winner choice federation navy hybrid charges
  • 1 Ishkur Assault ship
  • 500 million ISK (100 million part of Dec 21st prize)(100 million part of Dec 22nd prize)
  • Cameo Appearance in a fiction piece by Hallan Turrek
  • Cameo Appearance in a fiction piece by Roc Wieler
  • 1 Cynabal
  • ` PLEX care of CCP
  • 1 Navy Comet

TASK: The last two days before Christmas are upon us! I hope everyone has finished their shopping! In fact, why don’t you share with us one of your most dreadfully funny Christmas shopping experiences with us! That’s an order, pilot.

Post your entry in the comments below, or email me at I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Idemus, whom has won the following:

  • 100 million ISK
  • Navy Comet Blueprint Copy
  • Ishkur Assault ship
  • Rifter
  • Cameo appearance in a fiction piece by Hallan Turrek
  • Scythe

Wow, what a prize pack!

Advent Celebration – Dec 22nd

The flight deck was bustling with activity. I had extra contractors on hand to help with the additional workload. Leo, my chief mechanic and Senior Hangar Manager was scurrying to and fro, bellowing orders as he went, trying to get things in order for me.

“An’ there’s still more a comin’ in.” Leo said. “I ne’er seen the likes of this, laddie. Ye done yerself some fine work eer.”

I still really only understood about half of what Leo said to me on a daily basis, but when put into context with his body language and wild hand gesturing, it was enough.

The capsuleers of New Eden had indeed made this a Christmas worth remembering, and already my message center was constantly lit up like a Christmas tree with thanks and appreciation from across the galaxy.

I checked another contribution off the list, accepted the contract, and moved on. Soon I would have to hop into my Republic Fleet Firetail, the Renegade, and begin my hasty journey around the universe, covering all four Empires to collect the donated ships and items; I felt like the fat man himself.

Leo dropped a red hat on my desk, with a white puffy pom pom on top, and white fur trim around the base. “What the hell is this?” I asked him.

“Tis the season.” he replied, a wide grin spanning his face.

Ordinarily I would’ve had some glib and sarcastic response, but my view regarding Christmas had changed a lot in the last few days, so I figured, what the hell.

I donned the toque, and headed for my intergalactic sleigh. So help me, if anyone took a picture…


Before we get started with today’s contest, I just want to thank those of you who contracted your donations to me already. Here is our remaining prize list, including yesterday’s prize package, which I don’t actually have in my hangar yet, so please, if you committed to donating, do so as soon as you can.

  • $100 Racial Theme Pack from the EVE Online Store
  • Mystery Fit Retribution
  • 2 Dramiel
  • 1 Stabber (part of Dec 21st prize)
  • 1 Rupture
  • T2 Shield Purgers Arbitrator
  • 1 Republic Fleet Stabber
  • 1 Scythe
  • 1 Rifter
  • 1 Year Free Hosting at LoneTrek hosting
  • 20,000 units winner choice federation navy hybrid charges
  • 20,000 units winner choice republic projectile ammo (part of Dec 21st prize)
  • 1 Ishkur Assault ship
  • 1 Nemesis Stealth Bomber
  • 500 million ISK (100 million part of Dec 21st prize)
  • Full set of +4 implants
  • Cameo Appearance in a fiction piece by Hallan Turrek
  • Cameo Appearance in a fiction piece by Roc Wieler
  • 1 Cynabal
  • 2 PLEX care of CCP

That’s one helluva list, and we’re going to make some pilots very happy over these final few days. Thanks again!

PRIZE: ???

TASK: The 12 days of Christmas is a very popular seasonal song. Today’s task is to rewrite that song, making it Eve related. Post your submissions in the comments below, or email me at Usually I post the emails I get into the relevant blog. Yesterday I did not simply due to lack of time. I apologize.


With all the hustle and bustle in the loading dock, a synthpaper reporter managed to sneak himself in with a work crew and snagged this picture of Colonel Wieler before he was caught and summarily thrown out.

* thanks to Orthaanc Isengard for creating this image

Congratulations to Nathan Carver, who has won himself the following:

  • 1 PLEX, care of CCP
  • 1 Dramiel
  • 100 million ISK
  • 1 Nemesis Stealth Bomber

Advent Celebration – Dec 20th

The gifts had run dry. I had expected as much. There is only so much one person could do in the end, and I had given it my best. Nineteen days of Advent Celebration; not bad for someone who really had no interest in Christmas.

I had asked for help, and some fellow Capsuleers had stepped up and made great donations towards the festivities; that was what started me on this pursuit of “Christmas Spirit” in the first place.

Ah well, I thought to myself. I really didn’t expect it to go any other way.

I had to admit one thing I had come to appreciate was the taste of egg nog; what a delicious drink.

“Scuse me, Colonel, but I hear you’re in need of Advent donations still. Is that correct, sir?” I turned my attention to the pilot before me.

“It is, but I had just resigned myself to the conclusion that Christmas was meaningless, and inherently folks are selfish bastards any time of year.” I smiled coyly.

The pilot replied by showing me a digital contract made out to me. A fully fit T2 Hulk had been donated to the celebration.

It was quite the donation. I felt humbled and a little embarrassed for having reacted so sarcastically.

“Thank you, pilot. This is very much appreciated.”

We saluted each other before taking our leave, I finished my egg nog, then I headed down to my flight deck to look into how I was going to get this Exhumer sitting in Amarr high sec into my hangar bay.

At least the donating pilot knew how to make things fun.


PRIZE: Fully T2 fit Hulk

TASK: Sadly, we’re almost out of prizes. Today’s task is really going to put Christmas spirit to the test. Today you’re going to donate something to this contest. Should be interesting to see how few entries there are.

List your donation in the comments below, or by emailing me at The selected winner will need to contract their donation to me ingame, if applicable. Remember, it doesn’t have to be ingame items, it can be any use of your talents that you wish. Ideas:

– Christmas Eve phone call
– Short story written about that day’s winner
– artwork
– etc, etc

I will post today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Um, wow! I really don’t know what to do at this point! So many gifts! Screw it! Let’s do this up right, pilots! All donations are welcome and accepted. These coming final three days of advent are going to be something intense!!!

The winner of today’s fully fit T2 Hulk is Edema.

Additionally, today’s winner of the unannounced Republic Fleet Firetail I am giving away is DarkCoro

And finally, today’s winner of 50 million ISK, also unannounced and from yours truly, is Weslon.

I am literally overwhelmed with gratitude to each and every one of you!

Advent Celebration – Dec 19th

I just didn’t understand how it worked. Was it Jovian? Terran? Sleeper or some other technology? I had no idea.

Maybe that is why I had such a hard time believing in fairy tales. How could one drunk fat man fit enough gifts in his tiny vehicle, pulled by reindeer of all things (I mean how did they even breathe in space or at such high velocity), manage to travel the entire universe in under 24 hours?

Obviously, Santa Claus was a lie.

DAY 19

PRIZE: ???

TASK: Explain how Santa Claus’ Sleigh works. Present your arguments well in the comments below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Anjerrai Meloanis who has won a PLEX care of CCP. Please email the character name you want this PLEX to go to. Thanks!

I’ve also just noticed I’m almost out of presents! I need donations please!

Advent Celebration – Dec 18th

Less than a week to go, and the misery is over, I thought to myself. It didn’t look as if my attitude towards Christmas was going to change. I knew, deep down, it wouldn’t. How could it? People were hypocrites. Dec 25th would come and go, and I could guarantee you that even on that day of family and celebration there would be those at each other’s throats, screaming and fussing, and even if not, 24 hours later everyone would go back to exactly how they were.

The war wouldn’t stop. The death and violence wouldn’t stop. The enslavement of my people wouldn’t stop. Not because of Christmas.

Christmas was nothing more than an exercise in commercial socialism. People had to participate in the spending of Christmas or be frowned upon by their peers, judged by rules none could quantify, and their perceived worth lowered within in their caste. It might not be a legal or official proclamation, but it was true nonetheless. Christmas was about competition, with coworkers, with family members; who spent the most money on gifts, who had the biggest and best party, etc, etc. It wasn’t as selfless or giving as the media would have us believe.

I was a simple man. I didn’t have room in my life for the complexities and shallow nature of Christmas. And yet somehow, I was ok with myself, and the life I led.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: First of all, I hope everyone had a good chuckle at yesterday’s stories. I know I did. If you didn’t, go back and read them please; they are worth it.

Time is running out! Roc Wieler still doesn’t believe in Christmas Spirit! Today, your task is to interact with Roc directly with respect to your own view of Christmas.

This can be in character, out of character, a mix of the two, whatever you want. It can be happy, sad, angry. For all we know we could be Jewish and support Roc’s position on Christmas. I really don’t know. It’s up to you.

Please post your entries in the comments below, or email them to

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Boy, am I ever late announcing this one. Saw Avatar late last night. Good movie. Today’s winner is Miningzen, whom has won himself a set of posters, care of EON Magazine. Please email your shipping address so I can get these out to you.


PRIZE: $100 US Racial Gift pack from the Eve Online store

TASK: Create a holiday video for your fellow Eve Online players

Advent Celebration – Dec 17th

“Every child grew up with these. They are classic!”

I had been pondering those words for a few days since they were first spoken to me in shock and judgement. Some forget that there was no Christmas for slave children. Every day was simply about surviving until your next meal. I never grew up with the luxuries the Gallenteans had; I didn’t know about the classic kids tales everyone had been going on about when I walked into the conversation.

I had asked innocently about one particular cartoon title, and was then told at great lengths about the wonders of classical animation and how it was simply unheard of for an adult to not be familiar with these. What about my kids? Had they seen them?

Christmas was complicated.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Today you will be submitting a short script/story detailing the next big “classic christmas cartoon”, featuring Roc Wieler of course.

Post your entries in the comments section below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Rettic, whom has won himself a copy of EON Magazine Issue 19 when it comes out!

Advent Celebration – Dec 16th

Christmas was clearly not for me, I thought to myself. I lived my life by rules; I needed structure. The holiday season was chaotic, and seemed to bring out the worst in people. I wondered how family would react to the gifts they received if they knew to what morally questionable lengths their loved ones went to get them, how they mistreated others, shoving, pushing, cursing, filled with impatience at every turn; in their vehicles, in their shopping, everything. It was deplorable.

If any of my pilots were to act the way I had witnessed innumerable civilians act in the name of Christmas, I would have them under court-martial faster than they knew what hit them.

I was losing myself in the madness. I needed order. I needed direction.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Today you will be creating a witty yet insightful Christmas Rule. Not only will the winning rule win today’s prize, it will be featured as an official Roc’s Rule. Post your entry in the comments section below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Song Li, today’s winner! Not only is your quote today going to be an official Roc’s Rule, but you’ve also won yourself a free ad on Capsuleer! Check this LINK out for details. Ignore the ISK part; that’s on us!

Advent Celebration – Dec 15th

“It might do you some good. Maybe it’s just what you need to get that Holiday Spirit going.” my therapist said. It annoyed me that in her political correctness, she called this the Holiday season, or Holiday Spirit, or Holiday this or that. If you were going to talk about Christmas, at least call it what it was.

“Alright doc; I’ll give it a try.” I said, already feeling uncomfortable, as was typical with most any suggestion she would make.

I almost didn’t want to leave my quarters that day. At least then I wouldn’t have to think of a unique and individual way to state my appreciation for each and person I met, as my therapist had suggested. Go Christmas Spirit!


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Yep, you guessed it. You’re going to verbally give your unique and individual appreciation to every person you meet today ingame. And you’re going to provide screenshots to me in the comments below, or at, as evidence of your niceness.

I will be announcing today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Tragically, not a single entrant for today’s contest. It only reinforces the inherent cynicism I’ve always known capsuleers to have. Even for a prize, we aren’t willing to wish our fellow pod pilots a friendly greeting.

This is the first time one of our contests has defaulted. Consulting Roc’s Rulebook, it would appear that PyjamaSam receives today’s default prize, one lump of coal in his stocking!

Advent Celebration – Dec 14th

“What do you want for Christmas, Colonel?”

The question literally stunned me. I honestly hadn’t given any thought to receiving gifts; I had been so caught up in the pursuit of joy from giving. How was one supposed to actually ask for a gift? Didn’t that inherently defeat the premise? A gift was a reward for a good boy’s behaviour, not something demanded in advance? To me it was like asking for the promotion in advance of doing one’s duty; it just wasn’t done.

Maybe I still had this Christmas thing messed up.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: What do you think would be the best present for Matar Colonel Roc Wieler, and why? Post in the comments below, or email me at

I will announce today’s winner at 10 PM EST.

Congratulations to Swearte Widfarend, whom has won a PLEX, care of CCP! I would also like to express sincere gratitude to the many wonderful and suitable ideas everyone came up with today. It really makes me feel good to know that Roc has developed such a rich and engaging backstory of his own that readers of this blog are actually able to know the man on a deep and personal level.


PRIZE: $100 US Racial Gift pack from the Eve Online store

TASK: Create a holiday video for your fellow Eve Online players

Advent Celebration – Dec 12th

It wasn’t that I minded all the parties associated with Christmas, not at all. Any good Brutor welcomed the chance to drink their face off. It was more that while I enjoyed the company of my brethren, I really didn’t have many Minmatar friends. Sure, I knew a lot of Matari, but most were  under my command and not really friends.

It seemed that night was my turn to host the festivities, and the party itself was being thrown in my honour. To me, it was a lot of pressure to live up to, but looking back I am thankful for learning both how to be a gracious host, and how to interact better in social gatherings. These traits served me well in later years.


PRIZE: ???

TASK: Yeah, so I suck at Christmas, and at parties. Today’s task is to come up with some fun and engaging Christmas party activities/games that will amuse and entertain my guests tonight.

I will need to announce the winner early tonight, and I apologize for that. I will announce tonight’s winner at 6 PM EST.

Thanks to everyone for coming up with some fantastic ideas quickly. Today’s randomly selected winner (I am stating that now as someone thought maybe it was by favourtism) is Rettic, whom has won himself a 50% off code from LoneTrek Hosting, a really good hosting solution provided by a really genuine Eve player who simply wanted to offer better services to those in need of them.

Congratulations to Rettic, and depending on how exactly hungover I am, I’ll see you all tomorrow.