Leaked internal memos, lack of meaningful communication with its playerbase, rumours of a buyout by a company proven to destroy every intellectual property they touch, a possibly fake financial report showing the company will be closing its doors in October if it can’t raise another $8 million to qualify for a larger loan … if it’s true that any publicity is good publicity, CCP is the most successful gaming company in the world right now. Everywhere you turn: their official forums, player blogs, gaming sites; everyone is talking about CCP.

So I won’t be.

Incarna 1.01

The first followup to the Incarna expansion deploys today. You can read the patch notes HERE. (I normally don’t post patch notes links as if you play EVE Online you probably already know how to find patch notes). As you can see, nothing stellar, and that’s ok.

I’ve spent some time recently extracting the models from ingame for use in my 3D renders. Some have been pretty straightforward: chairs, couches, tables, the various pieces that go in the room. The room itself: walls, floors, ceilings, have been problematic for me thus far. If anyone is handy with Triexporter and wants to give ol Roc some assistance, I’d be happy for it. Seriously, I’m asking.

Anyway, I did come up with a new Incarna image, as you can see below. The high rez version can be downloaded HERE.

As I was working on this image, thinking of the various pieces I wanted to include to personalize it just for me, it reminded me of my time in SWG. Silly as it sounds, one of the systems they did so well was vanity. I owned mansions, fully decked out with the most rare and collectible items in the galaxy. They were all badges of accomplishment as there were no MT in that game. Even my larger ships (that allowed players to walk onboard), were fully decorated. Many a party were thrown just for me to show off to my online friends all the wonderfully exotic things I had collected over time. It really gave a personalized touch to the game, making it feel like I had a more individual story to tell.

Up until Incarna, that has been something sorely lacking within the sandbox of EVE Online. Yes, we all have our own unique histories, and many of us have fleshed out our individual tales through our blogs. Ingame, however, everything is uniform, and I’m ok with that. For now.

So what would I like to see available to personalize Captain’s Quarters?

• customized room: different configuration options, bigger spaces via microtransaction
•  trophy case options to display my medals: floor mounted, wall mounted
• trade goods, all of them: holoreels, khumaaks, cans of roe, frozen food, planetary vehicles for my hangar space, neophite mineral sample, pax amarria (know thy enemy), protein delicacies, Quafe, spiced wine, spirits, synthetic coffee (for guests as I don’t touch the stuff), tobacco
• political paraphernalia: politician vouchers, pamphlets
• nexus chips
• insignias
• criminal dog tags
• narcotics
• criminal evidence
• essentially anything that exists in the market that will fit in my room

What else would I like to see that doesn’t exist?

• better tattoo selection via microtransaction
• reasonably priced clothing options
• mini games
• magazines
• animated exotic dancers (pole included)
• animated slaver hound pets
• programmable androids
• jukebox with custom playlists
• throw rugs
• wall paintings
• controllable lighting and lamps
• couch, chair and table options
• a cold room to hang corpses in
• different bed sizes, and the ability to lay down in them
• custom emotes via microtransaction
• a bar
• sound speakers
• desktop picture frames
• ashtray
• cigars

The list goes on and on.

This is what I thought Incarna would be. This is what I hope Incarna will still be. The initial NEX pricing has put me off of clothing purchases honestly. Any of the items in the list above, or of a similar vein, would be more than welcome in my vision of Incarna. A variety of small, reasonably priced microtransactional items that are based on volume, not price point. I guarantee you that if all of these items were already there, I would’ve bought them all, and spent far more than on a single monocle, which has no appeal to me personally (Seriously, Roc with a monocle?).

I think that in the coming months CCP should really think about this strategy. They would definitely sell more items, and therefore make more profit. And if and when Incarna finally expands to social areas, think of how awesome it will be to have fellow pilots over just to show off your stuff.

Hmmm, guess I talked about it after all.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a good caption contest here.

THE CONTEST

Create a funny dialogue for this scene. You may enter more than once. Contest will run from the date of this post to Friday Jul 1, 11 PM EST. A winner will be announced Monday Jul 4.

THE PRIZE

There will be a single prize for this contest. It’s a mystery prize! (That means depending on how many people participate and how much effort it looks like people put into it, I will put up a better prize)

Every man deserves a good wardrobe.

When I heard that a new, higher end clothing boutique was opening on the capsuleer only levels of every station galaxy wide, I was excited, though skeptical, about this ambitious undertaking from Noble Exchange (or was it Noble Appliances? I’ve never been good at names).

I have to admit, as I slowly walked through their store, it was definitely tailored to appeal to the higher end niche market of the capsuleer. As I began running my hands over the various clothing articles though, I didn’t really get a feel for a quality any different than what I was currently wearing, namely a Quafe TShirt and a pair of bargain pants.

I found a nice pair of commando slacks in my size, and immediately the salesperson asked me if I’d like to try them on, to preview the fashion experience that awaited me.

“Sure, why the hell not?” I replied. I could judge from the reaction on his face that profanity was beneath him.

I have to admit, the pants looked good, though they were a little snug on the boys. I called out from the change room, “Could you pass me a 48 large in that officer’s jacket please? I’d like to ‘preview’ it.”

“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t allow our guests to try on that particular article.” was the reply.

“Seriously? How’s that?” I asked, admiring my ass in the commando pants.

“I’m sure you can appreciate the hygenic need, sir. We wouldn’t want just anyone perspiring in our garments that others may potentially purchase.” The skinny prick had a very smug voice.

“Really? Cause right now my balls are sweating up a storm in these pants I’ve got on.” I said, opening the door to speak face to face with the clerk as I blatantly adjusted myself, much to his horror and dismay.

“I dunno. They look alright.” I narrated to nobody in particular. I looked at the price tag. It had to be a misprint. There was no way anyone in their right mind would charge that for an entire closet full of clothes much less one pair of pants.

“Is this price accurate?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes sir.” the sales associate smiled with pride.

“And you realize I could buy five Sleipnir command ships for the price of these pants right? And I’m talking T2/faction fit here, not standard fit.”

His eyes glazed over, and I knew immediately that this company had no real understanding of its target demographic.

I took the pants off right then and there, grabbing my own pants from the nearby changing room. The salesperson was horrified to discover I wasn’t the type to wear underwear.

“Enjoy your store.” I said, walking out in a mild rage.

—

Forty five minutes later I left the lower level public promenade, two large shopping bags in hand. I had found a great deal on muscle tees, 5 for 0.01 ISK, and picked up three pairs of pants. At the prices I paid, they might as well have been free.

It’s not that I couldn’t afford Noble Exchange. It was more of a question of Why would I want to?

I enjoy the EVE community: the drama, the politics, the laughs, the moments of bonding and victory. We have a great community and I am proud to be a member of it. I receive many fan mails, sometimes about Capsuleer, sometimes about my music or art, sometimes for my recipes and workout tips, sometimes just to say keep doing what I’m doing, and I appreciate them all.

Other times, I get some not so pleasant fan mail, but ironically, I appreciate these too. I don’t mind constructive criticism; it helps me grow and improve. And sometimes, I just need a good laugh.

Dear Roc,

As a MMA fighter, I have to question your “Never start a fight you can win.” rule. I never start a fight I CAN’T win, which is to say, that I know my opponent, I have complete confidence in myself, and maintain such a level of focus that there is no situation I cannot win. I feel your rule will only set people up to fail.

With respect,
Tiger

Easy tiger. (see what I did there?)
You’re actually misreading the point. They are one in the same. The idea of that rule is to promote people to push themselves beyond their limits. By doing so they will come to realize there is actually nothing they can’t accomplish. As their confidence level rises, they too, like you, will possess the confidence to win every fight.

Dear Roc,
Your blog is shit. You don’t know shit. You’re probably a 40 year old fat, bald guy living in his mom’s basement whose never even been to a gym or touched a girl.

Not a Fan

Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh, my bad, I thought we were talking about you there for a moment.

Dear Roc,
I’m confused. What’s the deal with you and Mynxee? I know Mynxee is really Carole, and that you’re really Marcus, and that you’re both married, but she lives in the US and you live in Canada. Are you married to each other? It’s hard to tell from both of your blogs. I know Mynxee and Roc have some kind of on again, off again relationship, but what’s the deal? I found you on Facebook, and Google searched both of your real names, but I can’t fill in the blanks. It really makes me angry to the point where I punch walls because I don’t think you deserve Mynxee or Carole. My therapist says I’m overreacting to a situation without knowing the facts first. Is he right?

Much love,
Cyber-stalker07

Seriously. Creepy. Truth be told, I’m really CCP_Fallout. Mynxee, Roc, Carole, Marcus are all extensions of my multiple personality disorder. I’m also gay, so you’re not my type, sorry. Please forward any further correspondence on this topic to my CCP email address. Thank you.

Dear Roc,
Loving the workout tips! As an ISSA certified trainer though, I have to disagree with your approach. You shouldn’t be forcing your clients to puke or pass out. That is not healthy, and you’re only going to get yourself sued, if you haven’t already. You need to nurture your clients slowly, working with them for years, making sure they grow in a healthy way they can maintain. It’s obvious you’re new to the training game.

Good luck,
Florida Fit

Hello sunny Florida! Thanks for the email. I don’t actually force anyone to puke or pass out; it’s more of a motto like Livestrong’s “Pick a Fight”, or Ice Gear Fitness’ “Get Fit or Die Trying.” I don’t really think either of those companies mean it in the obvious context, so thanks for using your noodle on that one. The reason I say “push it til you puke”, or mention to clients that the worst that can happen when they pass out is they nap for a few seconds is to help them get over the fears of pushing themselves. In my limited experience (you’re right, I’m new), I have noticed that many people hold back; they don’t want to push themselves to the point of exertion, which I have found is when real growth happens.

As to training people slowly over years, I find that business type mentality disappointing already in the fitness industry. Firstly, I don’t charge clients. I want to share and enable them to live a healthy lifestyle for the rest of their lives without me. To that end, I will only train a client for one year. If they haven’t progressed and learned what they need to in order to sustain that healthy lifestyle, I’ve failed them.

I know, it’s not what the modern day fitness industry is about, but it’s what I’m about, and it seems to be working.

Dear Roc,
I saw you in CrazyKinux’s Fanfest pictures. You don’t look anything like Roc. You look like some egotistical fat nerd that thinks he’s the shit. Get a life.

Yours sarcastically,
Anonymous

Thank you for your comment, anonymous ePeen poster #58764. Isn’t the safe anonymity of the internet enabling? Had you actually been at Fanfest (save up your allowance this year), you might’ve had the chance to talk to me. Had you done that, you might’ve come to realize that Roc is an egotistical sycophant, but the real me is actually a somewhat decent guy. I met many players and had a fantastic time doing so. So please, man up, post with your real name (or at least something remotely creative), and evaluate people based on your own direct interactions with them. I mean seriously, have you ever read a book with a fictional lead character and insulted the fictional character? One, that would be weird. Two, the character wouldn’t care. See where I’m going with this?

Dear Roc,
You’re a racist, sexist liar. You objectify women though you pretend to be sensitive and understanding. You are a horrible role model and I wish you would stop pretending to be something for people to aspire to.

Signed,
Liberated Woman

I understand and sympathize with your anger. I’m sorry I left you sleeping without saying goodbye; that was rude of me. I would’ve made you breakfast, but to be honest, you weren’t that good.