Unfuck yourself. Be who you were before all that stuff happened that dimmed your shine.
Life is too short for two days of bullshit in a row.
Apparently “harder” is a horrible safe word.
Do all things with kindness, you fucker.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Any yawn can be a surprise blowjob if you’re fast enough.
Most people can’t be dicks while you’re appreciating them.