Always verify before congratulating pregnancy. She just may be fat. 

Fear is the cockblocker of dreams. 

The foolishness of the few is worth more than the wisdom of the masses.

If he remembers your eye colour after the first date, you probably have small tits. 

Sometimes I feel like giving up, then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong.

That’s a horrible idea. What time?

You are 100% in charge of your life. Stop fucking bitching.