In response to this post by Rhavas:
I wish I liked Roc. His player, Marcus, apparently does great music – I haven’t bought it myself but others rave. Marcus does good art. I loved Marcus’ EVE app, Capsuleer. But I can’t stand Roc Weiler. I’m sure Marcus is probably a great guy. I am very impressed with how Marcus has re-invented himself and adopted an impressively healthy approach to his real life. And Marcus will tell you that “Roc is a persona” or “Roc is a character”. The problem is that Roc keeps taking over Marcus’ microphone. And Roc is an arrogant, smarmy asshole. Roc is the guy in high school who was a football star, got all the chicks, and treated them all like shit. And Roc tragically answers every question asked of Marcus before Marcus can. Take a listen to Voices from the Void Episode 69 if you want to see what I mean. As Ripard Teg said, Marcus ”doesn’t play to his strengths as a CSM candidate.” It is my contention that this is because Marcus too badly wants Roc, not himself, to be elected. I hope someday Marcus runs from an alt, and presents himself without Roc in any way, avoiding problems with this sort of thing that others have experienced. Because Roc doesn’t want to talk about anything other than his favorite subject: Roc. And that makes Roc unelectable.
When I first read this post, I was immediately defensive, for Roc and for myself. I wanted to dismiss it as “haters gonna hate”, as has legitimately been the case at times, and carry on with the philosophy of “any press is good press”, yet as I read, then re-read the post again and again, something in it resonated with me. It troubled me all night until this morning I was compelled to read it again a few more times, discuss it with a few people I respect ingame and out, and after some soul searching finally managed to figure out why I am so disturbed by this singular post.
He isn’t attacking me, Marcus. He really isn’t even attacking Roc. Sure, he calls him an arrogant, smarmy asshole, and my reaction there was to write an in character response explaining the many layers to Roc Wieler – his slave upbringing, being forced to kill his own friends in the blood arena, the loss of his first love, everything that has gone into making Roc what he is. I could explain the “football star” impression as over-compensation based on insecurity, and Roc’s need to push women away not because he disrespects them but because he’s afraid of rejection. I guess I’m kind of explaining it now. Let me stop.
The real issue is that this post is objective. As I said, he isn’t attacking me personally. More so, he’s nailed upon a very fundamental concept which has made me a three time loser thus far in the CSM elections:
The first impression is the lasting impression.
I am well respected in the community for my efforts through Roc Wieler – the music, the art, the community events and contests, the ingame fun, etc. None of that matters. The author of this post doesn’t care about any of the good things I may have done because that first layer to the character of Roc Wieler turns him off completely.
History has shown my voting audience feels the same.
That hit me really hard. Not in a “Your tears sustain me” kind of way. At the end of the day, EVE Online is just a game, no matter how passionate or dedicated we are to it. I’m speaking more on a self-analytical, how did I not see this, level.
I don’t even think it’s not that I didn’t see it. I simply didn’t want to admit it. To me, I am Roc Wieler in EVE Online. I don’t walk around as Marcus. I don’t talk in chat as Marcus. Nobody knows Marcus. People know Roc Wieler.
But this isn’t ingame. This is a player based election. Real people voting for other real people that best represent their interests in a game we all take very seriously.
He quoted Ripard Teg, who has told me straight to my face I need to play politics and stop hiding behind Roc. Xander of Crossing Zebras has said pretty much said the same, even going so far as to call my stance on character integrity selfish if I really believe that I, as Marcus, can make a crucial difference to the CSM and the future of EVE Online.
I’m rambling now, something I’ve tended to for most of my adult life. My thoughts are still not concise on this subject but I do know this much.
I owe everyone an apology, including myself.
I’ve been selling my campaign short by standing as Roc Wieler. In many ways Roc has been an expression of the strengths I’ve wished I possessed my entire life, and has been an inspiration for me to do better in my real life, which I continue to do.
But Roc Wieler has also been a weakness to me, especially when it comes to CSM campaigns.
So let’s try something a little scary, and a little new for me.
Hi. I’m Marcus.
I’m a 40+ year old Technical Director who has spent his entire life loving science fiction to the point where it has influenced every major decision in my life. My career for the last 20+ last years has been in digital advertising and marketing.
I bring things to life. I’m a web developer, an information architect, a technical writer, a QA manager. I understand branding, strategic planning in the digital space, mobile, gaming, social media, all of it. I’ve made a comfortable living from it. I’ve won awards for my work. My expertise has been sought after around North America.
On the personal side I am equally consumed. I had Darth Vader and a squad of stormtroopers at my wedding reception. I want to teach my young nieces and nephews the ways of the Force. I read dozens of science fiction books each year and participate in amateur writing events like NaNoWriMo. I’m a geek at heart. A passionate, hard working, disciplined, intelligent, geek.
I know EVE Online. I’ve been playing for nearly 7 years. I have spent most of the last few years engaged in Factional Warfare. I play the market daily on my alts, pulling in over a billion isk each month to pay for the continued war efforts made by Roc Wieler. I know planetary interaction. I know the API. I know how the 3D assets are put together ingame – how effects are rendered, other technical things many players don’t think about. I’m also an avid roleplayer.
I’ve had the privilege of seeing inside the game on several occasions, and the honour of a good relationship with many members of CCP. I’ve written detailed white papers of my own on many game systems I’ve proposed for CCP realizing that every voice should count for something, not only those of the CSM. I’ve submitted proposals to other gaming companies as well though to date none of my ideas have come to fruition.
I guess what I’m trying to say is what I should’ve said from the beginning – I have the skills. I have the experience. I have the integrity and drive to get it done right. Voting for me is a smart choice, and we all need to make more smart choices. Together.
Roc the Vote