Eat My Balls

I stood over him, drenched in blood spatter, my one eye swollen shut from such intense swelling that I could feel it crushing the orb, threatening my vision permanently.

I was panting heavily, my bare chest heaving up and down from the sheer exertion of survival, ignoring the fire of my own wounds.

The Amarrian crowd surrounding me chanted my name. It was deafening and sickening. I felt bile rise in my throat and knew I was going to puke. Instead I hoisted my worn weapon high for all to see, brain chunks from my enemy’s bashed-in skull dripping to the ground as I did so. The roar of their approval was overwhelming.

In some cultures, the victor would cut out the heart of his enemy, supposedly to absorb his powers through devouring it. It was an ignorant and archaic belief. Everyone knew a man’s power came from his testicles.

I knelt down, pulled out my small ritual knife, and his power became mine.




  • 1 pair testicles
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • lemon or lime juice to garnish


  1. Setup your grill to cook the testicles indirectly, as in, a rack not directly touched by flame. Testicles are sensitive after all.
  2. Salt and pepper the testicles and place them on the grill for 10 to 15 minutes, until the outside surface is nicely charred. The tissue may burst during the process.
  3. When they are done, remove the testicles from the grill and cut into slices 1/3-inch thick. Garnish with lemon juice and more salt and pepper to taste.


  • the soul and power of your enemy. Mmm, mmm good.


3 responses to “Eat My Balls

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.