Toilets can scream.
Recipe – Brutor Energy Drink
Today’s recipe comes to us indirectly from FullMetal Basilisk, an old corpmate and all around good guy.
While I’d like to take credit for the Brutor Energy Drink, I cannot. In fact, I’m not even going to post the recipe, as the original blog post is so damn funny I couldn’t possibly outdo it.
Brutor Energy Drink
JOE THE PEACOCK’S INSANE ENERGY DRINK EXPERIMENT
***note: I will be switching out Red Bull for Monster Energy drink, which has five times the caffeine of Red Bull when I try this. Rest assured, I will be trying this.
Roc’s Rule #230
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
The Dancer
He couldn’t stop staring at her, as was often the case. He squeezed out one more drag of the used cigarette he had found on the ground between numb fingertips; from the cold or something else he couldn’t be sure. He looked away from the rounded glass display case, absently portraying himself as disinterested, though the truth was anything but.
By typical standards, he supposed the dancer wasn’t that attractive, but really, beauty was subjective. To him, she had a healthy amount of meat on her bones; she wasn’t one of those waif thin monstrosities with implanted breasts and lips, ribs sticking out like some malnourished Matari slave. He liked his women plump and natural.
And the way she moved, oh the way she moved. Her full hips were hypnotic in their gyrations, the fluidity of her arm movements mesmerizing.
He spent most of each afternoon and evening on this corner, watching her, sometimes into the early hours of the morning.
He flicked away the cigarette butt, looking around in the dirty snow covered ground for another without success. It didn’t matter; he had wanted to quit smoking years ago, and he would, until he found his next discarded butt.
He reached down and picked up his worn wool hat, wiping off snow and slush, checking to see if anyone had dropped in some change while he wasn’t looking. No such luck today.
He put the upturned hat back on the ground, and adjusted his flimsy, weather wet sign that read “Homeless war veteran. Please help.”
He had never been in the war.
If he had been honest, his sign would’ve read “Blew my own leg off in an industrial accident that could’ve been prevented if I had been paying more attention. Please help”, but he realized that probably wouldn’t generate any sympathy.
And he knew people would care even less if he was to tell them he had opted out of insurance benefits at his old job in order to save a bit of money that he could use to come see the dancers.
Being a war veteran was the better choice.
Mostly people would just throw some coins into the hat, or the occasional smoke, but sometimes one would stop to ask him about his time in the war, how he was injured, and rant about the government not taking care of its soldiers.
Over the last few years, he had developed quite the story.
My unit was deep under enemy lines, far into hostile territory. Every inch we took felt like a victory, as we could never tell when the next movement we made might be our last. We had already lost half of our squad, including our commander, but still had mobile ops with command.
The night was pitch black, and we had stripped ourselves of most high tech equipment to move more easily, and with stealth.
My body was covered with dried blood, even under my fingernails. It had been a brutal engagement with no sign of ever letting up.
The thing about war is that nobody wins, despite the media and political hype. Everyone loses, especially the families of the ones that never come home.
So there we were, neck deep in shit, crawling into a small ghetto apartment block, our objective nearly in sight. There were a group of terrorists holed up on the third floor of a small building 500m away.
The cover fire was heavy, and we lost two more men crossing the exposed roadways, but finally made it inside. Every step of that bomb blasted place creaked; there was no quiet way of going about it.
We rushed up the stairs, kicking open the door to the designated apartment, ready to spray down weapons fire on anything that moved.
Except what we found was a screaming mother, clutching her children to her desperately, bawling her eyes out.
I couldn’t do it. I didn’t care what they had done or IF they had done anything. I wasn’t going to shoot an unarmed woman and her children.
Maybe someone had it wrong. This couldn’t be the right apartment; there was no way.
One of the men beside me lifted his weapon to fire. I hollered at him to stand down. He did, thankfully, but the resulting yelling match between us was one of my greatest shames.
Some of us wanted to follow our orders and get the hell out. Who cares if they died? They were the enemy. Me, and a few, argued that it wasn’t right, that orders just weren’t orders.
There was a bright flash, and a deafening ringing in my ears.
When I awoke, the doctors told me the apartment had been hit by an air strike. Only me and one other guy had survived, and he was in critical condition.
I had lost my leg. He ended up losing his life, due to complications.
I can never forget the look of that mother. I can never forget the inhuman things war can make us do.
On that cue, he would usually shed a tear, a skill he had refined after countless performances, and on those special occasions, enough money would fill his hat that he could actually eat a decent meal.
He used to hate his life. He used to hate what he had allowed himself to sink to. He gave up caring a long time ago.
Now, it simply was what it was. It might not be a glorious existence, but it was all he knew. And he had no complaints.
He had a decent little hole in the wall he slept in, a few meager blankets to keep him warm, though in the winter months he wished he had more, but a little liquor always helped to warm him up, and he managed to eat at least one morsel of food per day, to keep his strength up.
The dancer looked his way. He blushed, turning away. He didn’t’ like it when she looked at him; it made him uncomfortable. He wasn’t worth looking at. Please stop looking.
He didn’t actually know if the dancers could see out from inside the display cases. They were like store front attractions, displays setup to entice customers to come in and shop the merchandise, but it was more than enough for him to just watch from afar.
He wondered if the display cases were heated, as the dancers never wore much in the way of clothing.
When the joint closed, he sometimes would leave a note on the plexiglass for the dancer to see when she came in the next day. He was very subtle with his writing, like a secret admirer, and one day, when he got his life back on track, he would take her away from this hellish hole they both endured. One day.
He found a flattened cigarette on the ground, wiped it off, and lit it up. Still good.
There was a commotion at the front door. The dancer stopped to watch, mild fear etching itself onto her face.
He squinted his eyes to get a better look, his vision not being what it used to, and saw the bouncer to the place flat on his ass, snow and slush covering him. Was he bleeding? It looked like.
Then he heard the gunshots from inside, and the resulting screams and panic.
Everything he knew told him to pack up and leave; this wasn’t his problem, but he couldn’t move. He was rooted to the spot. The dancer was being yanked from the window.
He could see her shaking her head in the negative, pulling herself backwards against the arm firmly wrapped around her wrist, her back pushing against the street side of the glass.
He couldn’t leave her; he just couldn’t. But who was he? What would he do? He was just a piece of scum that pissed his life away; that’s what he was.
Still.
Most of the customers from inside had left by now, and he watched three gangster types walk non-nonchalantly out of the front door, not a care in the world, heard them cackling at the fallen bouncer.
They had weapons.
Still.
He grabbed his walking stick, some sickly split wooden branch he had found years back, and with great pain and effort, hobbled towards the strip club.
She was his dancer. He wasn’t going to let her die.
His hands hurt from the cold and a number of other physical ailments, his joints creaking, straining with the effort of his aggressive stride, but he was determined to make a difference.
For a brief moment he had mustered up a vision of himself as the soldier in his own story, almost believed it, confident that because he was doing the right thing, he would survive, just like he had the bomb on the apartment.
But the bomb wasn’t real. It had never happened. The story wasn’t real. His life wasn’t real.
Still.
The group pointed his way, laughing amongst themselves as he approached, grimace and malice etched across the deep lines of his face.
He didn’t know what he was going to say or do, but he knew he had to do something. He threw a sidelong glance towards the window; his dancer was gone.
The lead ruffian spoke first.
“What do you want, old man? Gods, what is that smell? Body odour, booze? Did you shit yourself, old man?” He waved his hand in front of his nose, rearing away in mock disgust, his cohorts laughing furiously.
The entire time their hands never left their weapons.
“Release her.” were the words that came out of his mouth. He hadn’t planned them, and was as surprised as they were at what was said.
“Say again? Are you a drug fuck, crazy as a kite? Release who?” the lead ruffian chuckled, creating more mirth for his friends.
The “old man” pointed his hand towards the glass display case.
“She was in there.” he said, his voice rising in pitch at the end. His nerve had left him, and he was starting to feel the fear overcome him.
His good knee began to tremble, his arms shook, making it hard to keep the walking stick steady.
The trio laughed some more.
“Do you have any idea who we are you crazy codger?” the lead ruffian asked, laughing.
He shook his head in the negative.
“Guristas, bitch.”
Their mood went serious suddenly, their body language becoming threatening, murderous intention in their eyes.
“And we don’t like being told what to do. Especially by some foul smelling, gimped old fuck who has a crush on a fat whore.”
Something snapped inside.
He lunged at the lead ruffian, catching all three by surprise, his walking stick repeatedly striking, him screaming at the top of his lungs.
He got in a lucky blow, and heard the resounding wet thwack of his stick breaking the nose of the lead Guristas thug. The other two still seemed dazed from the unexpected attack.
He was doing it. He was winning. He was going to have such a good story to tell after this, and it was real! He was really doing it. His dancer would see. She would know what he had done, and when she asked him, he would say he did it all for her.
He heard a loud bang, like the one from his story. His ears rang more than he had ever described in his spectacular tale.
Was he actually going crazy? Did his mind think he was actually in his war story?
Still.
Everything was still.
Snow fell on his face, and he could see the sky in front of him. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move.
He pulled his hand away from his torso, and his eyes went wide with shock and terror as he saw it covered in his own blood. There was so much blood.
The three gangsters stood over him, the lead one squatting down, his nose bloodied and split.
“You fuck!” he spat on him.
His heart grew sad. He hadn’t saved her. She would never be his now. Maybe it was better that he died. Maybe this is how it was always meant to be. Who was he to dream anyway?
The Guristas pirate captain stood up, aiming a handgun down at the homeless bum that had broken his nose, and pulled the trigger, fulfilling the man’s unspoken wish.
Still.
Roc’s Rule #229
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Church of the Obsidian
TANOO SYSTEM – 13 JUMPS FROM ALDRAT
I could tell immediately the difference between dealing with a civilian and someone in the military. The fact that Hiva Shesha was flying around in a shuttle was only the first of many giveaways I would discover in our time together.
I hailed her ship, and we opened a private comm, exchanging initial pleasantries for quite some time. I smirked with playful flirtation; I never could resist an attractive woman. She seemed content talking with me, and exuded a quaint shyness. That was something I wasn’t accustomed to, having been on the receiving end of affections from the likes of Mynxee, Shae, Venom, and many others, whom were always direct.
Hiva was gorgeous. Her bald, smooth head was a bold statement, hinting at toughness, a self-assuredness of purpose. It would’ve seemed very masculine were not for the fact that her makeup was expertly done. It wasn’t trashy, or too much; it merely enhanced her beautiful facial features as intended.
Her full lips curled up at the sides naturally, and her eyes shone with what could be perceived as innocence, but I read it for passion.
She wore a loose fitting, sleeveless leather vest with a very tight, bust enhancing shirt, not that it looked like she needed the assistance. Her shoulders and arms were very muscular, but not massive, just well defined.
My manhood embarrassed me with sudden and unexpected growth, and I was thankful this was a comms only introduction.
Do you have any idea how tough this relic is to crack? You’d think something this simple would come with a manual. We’ve used the Khumaak for a long time as a symbol of our defiance. But the presence of one little rock adds a whole new level of meaning.
Oh yeah. Welcome, Roc Wieler! I take it that Nilf sent you over? You’ve earned a lot of trust with the Republic, and I hope we can continue that trend.
I was one of the Republic University scholars to take a look at the Wildfire Khumaak for the Brutors. I was also sent to look over the documents you recovered from the RSS. So, essentially, I’ve been with you from the beginning, lurking in the shadows.
I smiled slightly, watching as she blushed, breaking eye contact with me, revealing her own attraction towards me more than she had wanted to let slip. To her credit, she recovered her composure quickly, and redirected the conversation amiably.
That’s what we historians do: Skulk about in dusty corners looking for information. It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.
She continued onwards, happy to be controlling the direction of the conversation again. I was happy to let her think that.
The Ammatar “sister” that was the source of all the information was based in a nearby cathedral called the Church of the Obsidian. I’ve contacted the church, and she’s no longer there. In fact, I have no clue where she went. She did make reference to some artifact located in the church. They’ve denied me access to the church grounds – those bloody lapdogs – but I think you be able to persuade them.
She had a quick temper and a bit of a foul mouth; I liked that. I also was coming to like her style with how to handle obstacles.
Get inside the church and get something called the “Blood Obsidian Orb.” I don’t know what to do with it after that, but I think that’s our first step.
I had a difficult time taking orders from a civilian, and a woman at that. Still, I was interested in bedding her, and I learned the quickest way to a woman’s pants, outside of booze, was by playing nice.
I quickly accepted her task.
Take this analyzer with you, and use it on the church. It should help you unearth the Blood Obsidian Orb.
Suddenly, I went flacid. Literally.
I was getting sick and tired of this. First, I was delayed from achieving the objectives of an assigned task because I had never hacked a computer firewall. Now, I was being given the tool of an archeologist, and being asked to use it to recover this bloody orb.
Ok, granted, I did fail in keeping the archeologists alive previously, but I was sure Hiva could spare one of her assistants to come with me and perform the necessary operations.
I thought I had been brought on for my combat prowess as a capsuleer.
In a way, I supposed I could be flattered; maybe people thought I was more intellectual than I actually was. On the other hand, maybe all non-capsuleers just assumed we were expertly skilled in all things.
Of course, there was a third option that occurred to me. Maybe she was testing me on a personal level. Maybe she only allowed herself to be attracted to men that demonstrated more than just the typical Brutor quality of physical dominance.
This was her foreplay.
I had her mechanical team fit the analyzer to my ship, then headed out, excited to succeed. I was already fantasizing about what she would be like when we slept together. There was no doubt in my mind it would happen; it was simply a question of whether it was a one night stand type of deal, or did I keep this going for a few nights?
The Onslaught easily crossed the distance to the neighbouring system of Shasta. Upon using the jump gate and entering the system, I received a comm from Hiva. I answered a bit too quickly, betraying my own personal interest in her. I was being too eager, but it had been a while, and my veins were pumping with anticipation.
Oh yeah, I may have forgot to mention that there are some armed guards there. I’m a scholar, not a fighter. Which one are you?
I simply smiled and ended the transmission. I had read her correctly. This was definitely a sexual interest test. She put the question out there as a “one or the other”, but I knew she wouldn’t accept anything less than both. Part of me was disappointed that she was so easy to read, it diminished the thrill of the hunt. The other part of me redoubled in predatory glee, waiting to devour her with my building lusts.
I warped to the outer limites of the Church of the Obisidian, wanting to assess the situation from afar, in a non-threatening way, unless no other alternative presented itself.
We know what you are here for. You are not allowed on the church grounds. Leave now or face the consequences.
My mood soured. I had been soaring high, endorphins coarsing through my system, and these clowns had to go and ruin it.
I hated being told what not to do.
All my life, it had been one of the most difficult things for me to overcome; following orders. But as with anything I put my mind to, I could persevere and excel. As a slave, the consequences were quite severe for disobedience. As a military cadet, disciplinary action was almost as harsh.
I wasn’t a creature driven by reactive emotion, but rather a strong-willed man in full control of his every faculty. It had taken a great deal of personal effort to create this mold for myself, this man of duty and obedience, but it was something I valued highly, and the mold would not bend nor break in my lifetime.
I left the church grounds, as instructed. There wasn’t any point in me being there anyway; as I couldn’t use the analyzer on my ship.
I reviewed the telemetry data Aura had recorded while there, and quickly ascertained the most probable location of the orb.
I then did something I rarely ever did back then; I asked for help, specifically, for a military pilot with skill enough to use an analyzer.
“Mark Yaqb reporting for duty, Colonel. What do you need?” the young Brutor said with vigor.
He looked to be of the newer generation of pilots, angry, overconfident, aggressive in his demeanour. Eventually, those things were driven out of you after numerous clone chamber visits.
He had a strong chin, rugged jaw line, and high cheek bones. His neck strained with muscle, and you could see his impressive mass through his trapezius and shoulders.
He bore an elaborate tattoo across his forehead of a design I didn’t recognize, but that didn’t surprise me. Many of the younger Brutor didn’t respect the ancient traditions, marking themselves for style rather than honour.
Yet the single most striking feature of Mark Yaqb was none of these things; it was his eyes.
He was blind.
It wasn’t as uncommon a characteristic amongst Brutors as one might think, but there were simple procedures employed at birth to correct this genetic defect. Either he had never been cloned, or he specifically chose to remain blind.
“How close are you to Tanoo?” I asked, cutting short my own philosophical wanderings.
“7 jumps out. On my way, sir.” he replied.
“You equipped with an analyzer, pilot?” I asked.
“Sir, yessir.” Mark responded, his ship fitting momentarily appearing on my HUD.
He was flying an exploration fit Republic Fleet Firetail, Sisters Expanded Probe Launcher, Codebreaker, Analyzer. The boy definitely was skilled enough to assist me.
“I look forward to flying with you, son.” I said, and laid out the attack plan.
Ten minutes later, I warped fifty kilometers away from the Church of the Obisidian. The Ammatar Guardians of the Church immediately locked me, and the battle was begun, just as I had planned.
The Onslaught’s shields easily held, and I focused on my attention on the fast moving frigates, the only real threat to my ship in this battle.
I turned my ship away from the Church, pulling from the attacking vessels. They fell into pursuit, as anticipated.
Mark’s Firetail warped in at ten kilometers, and the nimble ship made short work of the Chapel, the structure that Aura had calculated contained the orb.
Thirteen seconds later, Mark warped away. I followed his lead shortly thereafter.
We met up at a nearby station, and I had my crew transfer the cargo from his ship.
I offered Mark some isk for his troubles, but he declined.
“It’s an honour to fly with you, sir.” he said, much to my surprise, given my recent military record.
Even blind, Mark picked up on my confused hesitancy.
“If I may speak freely, Colonel?” he asked.
“Of course.” I replied.
“You’re somewhat of a hero to my squad, Colonel, a role model. I know it might seem out of place to say, but you’re what we want to be.” Mark stammered.
“And what is exactly is that?” I asked sarcastically, my eyebrow raising, waiting for the hammer to drop.
“A man of integrity, a man of conviction. A man that will do whatever it takes for the cause of the just. You inspire us, Colonel, to be more than we are. I wanted to thank you for that.” Mark said, with the most precise and crisp salute I had ever seen.
I returned his salute out of rote, and was thankful for his blindness. I was completely and utterly stunned to hear such high words of praise from a pilot I had never met or heard of before that day.
I didn’t know what else to say, so stood there, like a dumb idiot, saying nothing.
Mark took his leave, and soon I did the same, returning to Hiva with the precious orb intact. I performed a query against Hiva’s database enroute, which she had given me access to earlier.
The church of the Obsidian has kept this relic for nearly four hundred years, though its original meaning was never truly discovered. The orb is carved from blood obsidian, the same material found in the head of the Wildfire Khumaak. The orb’s surface is completely smooth, though it is lighter than it appears.
Hiva was beside herself with enthusiasm and genuine happiness.
You found it? Really? Well, I guess it’s kind of orb-like. I have no idea what its significance is, but I’m going to find out. Hang on real quick. I must look into this further.
I was so getting laid.
History in the Making
Our historians have pored over the information found on the drive cluster EDF-285. There’s a lot on there, but not all of it pertinent to the Wildfire Khumaak. I’ve been in contact with a Krusual historian who has spent some time researching the Khumaak. The historians cross-referenced each other’s work and stumbled upon a lead. I guess those nerds are good for something, eh?
I’m sending you to Hiva Shesha, the Krusual historian. She’s taken her poor interns with her to the San Matar constellation – right in the heart of Ammatar space. I don’t know what’s she discovered, but I’m sure it’s important. Best you get over there and talk with her. Let us know what you’ve uncovered, and keep your eyes peeled for our missing agent. I have a feeling that he went to seek out his Ammatar contact. There’s no telling what he’s up to, either.
Anyway, good luck.
And with that, my relationship with Nilf Abruskur was over. I had started out detesting the man, but had come to realize he was simply the wrong guy in an awkward situation, doing the best he could.
I would like to say I respected him, but that would be false. I tolerated him. I understood him.
I was happy to be done with him. Besides, I was looking forward to meeting Hiva Shesha; she had a hot name.
Playing all Their Cards – Epilogue
The day had arrived, and I was prepared for the meet. My service teams had gone over the Onslaught with a fine toothed comb, giving her the thumbs up. She was pristine once again, fully operational, and ready to be of continued service to the Minmatar Republic.
With newly restored vigor, she surged out of the docking bay, the rumble of her thrusters being felt throughout the ship. She was as eager as the rest of us, hungry for answers, craving action, and we all knew she was a capable predator.
I returned to Aldrat, ready to be briefed for my next mission, a hit and run on the Angel Cartel while Nilf and his negotiation team kept them busy elsewhere.
We’re counting on you, Colonel Wieler, not just for the information this time, but to help us keep our reputation and morale after being dealt such a blow by those Angel bastards. The RSS is hurting right now. I need you to fire my men up. Make us proud.
Nilf saluted me crisply, respect finally being shown to my rank and ability.
That was thirty minutes ago.
I laid in the course for Hardbako, and arrived to the adjacent system quickly, and made my way towards the Angel bunker without incident.
Five minutes ago, Nilf commed me, urgency in his voice:
They’re stalling the negotiations. Our scouts and scanners are picking up no sign of the reinforcements they were going to bring. I’m getting the feeling we’ve been screwed again. Get the data and get out.
Three minutes ago, as I made my way at top speed towards the Drive Cluster Archive at the Angel’s undefended base, their ambush was sprung.
Seventeen frigates and assault frigates closed the gap quickly after warping in. Six battlecruisers followed on their tails, their added firepower a welcome addition to the fast moving frigates. And in the distance, from sniping range, ten battleships lit up the darkness of space with dozens of deadly missile volleys.
Thirty seconds ago, my newly acquired hacking skills were put to the test under extremely hostile conditions. My shields were close to buckling, which was no small feat given my Pith X-Large Shield Booster, but I kept my cool, and focused on the task at hand, slowly making my virtual way through the security system’s many failsafes.
Ten seconds ago I was rewarded with the prize we all had been seeking, information about the Wildfire Khumaak.
This is a cluster of drives, each of which contains several exabytes worth of encoded data. Somewhere in here is vital information on the Wildfire Khumaak.
As my armour groaned and buckled, entire plates forcibly ripped off of my ship, I knew it was time to leave. I had accomplished my mission; we had what we had come for.
There was no glory to be sought facing overwhelming odds; only death. And while many capsuleers would turn to engage the enemy even against such a superior force, jeopardizing their ships and their crews, I was not such a pilot.
My orders weren’t total annihilation; this was a retrieval op.
In short order, I handed over the drives, and spoke with Nilf once again.
Excellent work, Roc. The Republic Security Services are in your debt.
To hear those words come from his mouth was almost as sweet as the victory I felt over being closer to solving this mystery surrounding the Khuumak.
I felt I was close.
[OOC] Going Green, seeing red
I’m all for being environmentally friendly.
My carbon footprint has been small since long before that fad phrase even existed. It’s not that I believe we need to save the planet; the polar opposite in fact. I think the earth was fine before we even existed, and it will heal itself and be fine long after we’ve managed to somehow wipe ourselves out. We should call our eco campaigns “Save the Humans” or something, as it really just is a vain and impotent effort to extend our flawed existence as a failing race.
But that isn’t the point of this rant. Today is about plastic bags.
Sure, plastic grocery bags are made from petroleum based products and are very bad for the environment, taking 450 – 1,000 years to breakdown, I get that.
But do you remember the days of paper bags and plastic bags that were recyclable?
We don’t even have that option anymore. Paper bags are 100% recyclable. Plastic is 99% recyclable. The problem of course is the laziness of people. 1% of 1 billion bags are actually recycled. That is a disgusting figure that just reinforces my earlier statement about us being a flawed and failing species.
But not even this is my point today.
Today is about being charged 5 cents per plastic bag. Really? You’re going to rant about something so obviously good for the environment?
Yes, yes I am.
I mean, before the days of environmental awareness being a catch phrase and plastered all over the media, companies still charged us for these bags. How do I figure? Easy, operating costs. Bags have always been factored into the final markup of a given product. The expense is always passed on to the consumer. It’s simple business logic. It’s the same as rent, wholesale purchasing costs, staffing costs, and everything else that factors into how much more we pay for products at the end of the day.
So riddle me this. Why is it now that if I go into a grocery store and I bring my own bag (which I will rant about in a minute), I don’t get a discount on the items I purchase to offset the hidden cost of the plastic bags I’m not using but are already factored into the cost of the item I am buying?
And why is it if I do need plastic bags, I am charged an additional 5 cents per bag on top of the hidden cost already incurred for them by the company?
The answer is surprisingly easy: it’s a cash grab, plain and simple.
While I let that roll around in the back of your head, let me talk about these new re-usable fabric bags that cost between $1 – $2 but are somehow marketed as good for the environment.
Did you know they are ZERO percent recyclable? Fact.
So what happens to these bags? Well, they certainly do last longer; that is the objective. In the short term, they produce less waste. But what happens 10 – 20 years from now when all those bags are torn with holes and no longer of use? They’ll start being dumped in our landfills.
But in typical “Think about the now” approach, this generation thinks it’s a good idea. Let our kids sort out our mess. Lovely. Let’s continue to ignore that greater symptoms of convulsive death and apply a band aid solution and hope it takes.
And again, with no alternative like paper bags, as consumers we’re pretty much screwed. I mean, I get dirty looks at the grocery store when I ask for plastic bags, or bring my own plastic bags. Oh how influenced by media we are. How dare he not purchase those fabric bags for $2 each, of which none of the proceeds go to helping the environment. The scoundrel!
But back to the cash grab, and why we shouldn’t stand for it.
I support charities monthly. I won’t tell you which ones, as that’s my business, but I donate my money, and my time, to causes I believe in and support, and encourage others to do the same for whatever stirs fire within them. Get involved. Make a difference.
Is that 5 cents per bag going into some government or private fund to help the environment? Nope. If you don’t believe me, Google it. Look up any grocery chain’s environmental statement to see what they are doing to help our environment.
All of them say the same generic bullshit about carbon footprints, offering fabric bags, reducing plastic bags, etc, etc. I came across only ONE grocery chain here in Canada that actually is using the money to research better packaging methods and alternatives with the money collected from grocery bags. Only one. Failing race.
So where is that money going then? Right back into company profits. They’ve already charged us for the bags in the price of the products we consume from them. They’re charging us again in the name of the environment. And yet, the money goes straight to the corporate coffers, padding the profit margins, and making the rich richer.
It makes me sick. It really does.
So I walk into a Subway restaurant the other day to order a sub. I like Subway. I’ve lost weight because of Subway. Their $5 footlong specials have also helped me maintain a decent budget for work lunches at times. Of course, they’ve increased the price of that deal to $5.49 now…
So I suck it up, figure it’s still a deal, though I won’t be eating there as much anymore, and head to the cash.
“Would you like a bag for that?” the clerk asks.
“Yes please, it’s to go.” I respond politely.
He charges me 5 cents for the bag. Have you seen a Subway bag? It’s about 1/6th the size of a grocery bag. It’s a thin, narrow sleeve that a footlong sub barely fits into, and he’s charging me 5 cents.
He doesn’t bat an eyelash about it. We’re so ingrained as a non-thinking, conforming society to just accept what we’re told, that it seems perfectly natural and reasonable to him to charge me for this pathetic excuse of a bag.
I cancelled the order and walked out. I won’t be going to Subway anymore. Don’t even get me started about the 25 cent Interac fee they introduced…
I just wish people would start thinking. That’s the crux of it. We’re fed fantastic marketing lines, and we blindly swallow it, like fish on a hook, but what good is it really accomplishing? I mean, what happens to the fish? Nothing good.
Is the earth going to be saved because of plastic bag initiatives? Are we even making a dent? And does it even matter at this point?
Look at the weather systems around the globe. Look at how the earth is already violently responding to what we’ve done to it.
It’s in the process of wiping us out, in self defence. We’re already doomed. We’re not going to make it, and we have only ourselves to blame.
It’s like I tell overweight people that want to get in shape, “You didn’t get overweight overnight, so it’s going to take you a while to change how your body looks. Don’t give up.”
Unfortunately, the same doesn’t apply for the environment. We’ve been destroying our beloved earth for hundreds of years now. It’s passed the point of repair. We’re prolonging the inevitable.
These are simple facts that anyone can find if they were just assed to look.
But nobody does.
We don’t want to accept reality. We want to live in our little bubbles of perception that leave us feeling comfortable and safe. It’s why we go to church to absolve our guilt. It’s why we help old ladies across the street. It’s why we shovel our neighbour’s driveway of snow in the winter.
We live in constant denial of who and what we are as human beings. We think ourselves superior in every way, and that nothing will end our reign of authority on this planet.
Well guess what, we already lost; we just haven’t accepted our extinction yet.
And no, I’m not being fatalistic. I’m quite a happy person, and as guilty as any.
After all, all this is coming from a guy that likes internet spaceships.
Rancer

JITA SYSTEM
“Caldari Shuttle DNS-321; shut down your drives and prepare to be boarded.” the State Protectorate Naval Officer repeated with hostility.
“This will be your last warning, Minmatar. We know who you are. Cease and desist immediately, or be destroyed.”
I had appropriated a Caldari shuttle for my journey to Jita. I had an underworld contact there, and figured if I played my cards right, I could slip insystem, spend a couple of days hacking computer systems with my colleague, then make a silent egress undetected. I had even falsified the shuttle’s transponder code, but to no avail.
I banked the shuttle hard, aligning to Jita IV – Moon IV – Caldari Nav Assembly Plant, the main market station of the galaxy.
The Caldari Faction Cruisers initiated a warp scramble, but they were too late. My Caldari shuttle was quick to align, and effortlessly made the jump to warp speed.
I knew they would be waiting for me at the other end of my warp tunnel, and already had made my decision on how to deal with the situation.
Aura reluctantly followed my mental commands, disabling the pod ejection safety protocols. Chances are I would end up becoming space dust, splattered across hundreds of light years, but if I angled it right, if my relative velocity was just so, and I managed to time my maneuvering thrusters with perfect timing…
I exited warp one hundred kilometers from the station. The Caldari State Protectorate was waiting. I quickly entered warp again, aligned to my safespot, and sped away again.
At 8 AU, I gave the mental command. Eject …
I felt the acceleration away from the ship, then my body repeatedly wracked with pain and vertigo as I was slammed around inside my pod by the sheer force of physics. I puked numerous times, almost a steady stream, gagging on the nutrient tube in my throat.
My vision blurred, I thought I was going to blackout. It was nigh impossible to even read my HUD, but I did.
Short bursts from my maneuvering thrusters successfully stopped my pod from spinning out of control, making it easier to get my bearings. A few more moments and I had managed to reduce my speed to real space.
I allowed myself a moment to shake off the effects of what I had just done. My ears rang; my brain felt rattled. I ached throughout every muscle and joint of my body, but I was alive, and if fortune favoured me once more that day, the State Protectorate would be closing in on an empty shuttle.
Pulling up my system diagnostics I quickly saw that my pod was intact enough to warp to the Assembly Plant. I gave the command, and was thankful when I was finally docked and out of my pod.
Docking control wouldn’t fire on a capsuleer’s pod, regardless of race or faction; a nice Concord caveat I had taken advantage of.
I let the hot decontamination shower clean the pod goo from my body. I was left naked and exposed. Ordinarily, it was a feeling I detested, being detached from my ships.
To command such magnificent, majestic ships able to destroy entire squads of lesser pilots was one of the greatest thrills a capsuleer could experience. It made one feel … big.
But right now, I needed to be small. I needed to be microscopic and disappear into the Jita ecosystem.
I heard some movement to my left, and quickly ducked behind some nearby supply crates, still dripping wet and nude.
“The carpet matches the drapes.” a slightly high pitched male voice said.
I relaxed. My contact had arrived.
I stood up from behind the crates, and threw a friendly wave towards my colleague, who in return smiled, and threw some utilitarian clothing at my feet.
I had arrived in Jita.
TWO DAYS LATER
I had learned all I felt I needed to for the upcoming operation. I could successfully hack level 4 computer systems with relative ease. We were both surprised how quickly I took to it.
I downplayed the whole neural imprinting aspect of the training, and simply lavished compliments to my colleague’s obvious teaching prowess.
So with that out of the way, I headed back to a public hangar I had rented under an alias, and took a long look at my newest ship, a Loki class tech 3 strategic cruiser I had christened Ridhe.

She was a beautiful ship in every way. Modular, deadly, a reflection of myself, and not in an arrogant way. She was as personal to a pilot as a ship could get, and I knew she wouldn’t let me down.
The problem was I couldn’t limit myself to one fit, but had narrowed it down to two. I had the secondary fit loaded into the cargo hold, and prepped the ship for launch.
I checked my route to the nearest friendly system. Only one lowsec system along the path I had chosen, Rancer. No problem.
I should’ve hired a freighter pilot to carry my new prized ship back home. I should’ve circumvented any lowsec systems along my route. I should’ve calmed down, thought about the 2.4 billion isk I had just sunk into this ship and fittings, and not been so excitable.
Maybe then things would’ve turned out differently, but then again, maybe not.
I shot out of the Assembly Plant at full speed, and quickly aligned and warped, ignoring the protests of the State Protectorate, who were particularly keen on my capture or demise.
I made topspeed through every Caldari system I had to traverse, not so much as blinking until I was in safe space once again.
It was almost anti-climatic, I know, but not every event in my life was full of drama.
Next system, Rancer. Almost home.
I rematerialized in Rancer, Aura warning me of a pirate Broadsword off the bow of my ship. Immediately, I was under attack, but didn’t panic.
I wasn’t in the mood for a fight; I just wanted to get this ship safely home. Slowly, I turned towards the gate, overheating my afterburner, knowing I should be able to make the 15km easily in this armour tanked monster.
My warp drive was scrammed, but I wasn’t webbed. That was good.
A Rokh warped in, and opened fire. I frowned as my shields disappeared, but then smiled as my armour tank held.
A Megathron warped in, and I knew I was in trouble.
8km to the gate was when I made the single most expensive mistake of my career to date, though there were many more in the future.
I returned fire.
30 seconds later, I reached the gate, and was denied access to its capabilities due to my recent hostile activities. Immediately, I cursed myself for being so foolish, and cycled down my weapons systems, but it was too late.
In a vain attempt to buy precious seconds, I orbited the jump gate, overheating my repair systems, pouring capacitor batteries into them like crazy.
1 minute, 30 seconds later, I still couldn’t access the gate. From what I remembered of Concord protocol, cooldown times for aggression were calculated to 60 seconds. The gate should’ve been responding by then, unless it had been compromised in some way I was unaware of.
2 minutes, 12 seconds into the fight, the Ridhe had nothing more to give. The last bit of my armour buckled, and my hull disintegrated from around me.
In a blinding flash, my Loki was no more; her maiden voyage lasting all of 20 minutes.
A second blinding flash surprised me, and I woke up in Dal, disoriented, but knowing what had happened.
I cursed again for flying with a +5 implant set. When would I learn?
After routine medical and psychological examination protocol, and putting on a fresh set of clothing, I headed to my personal hangar, prepped a Rifter, and headed back to Aldrat.
At least I was ready for my mission.
RIDHE LOSS:
Destroyed:
4 x 220mm Vulcan AutoCannon II
1 x Invulnerability Field II
1 x Amarr Navy Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane
1 x 800mm Reinforced Steel Plates II
2 x Medium Trimark Armor Pump I
1 x Medium Ancillary Current Router I
1 x J5B Phased Prototype Warp Scrambler I
2 x 1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
1 x Republic Fleet Gyrostabilizer
1 x Hacking Skillbook (dammit!)
Dropped:
2 x 220mm Vulcan AutoCannon II
1 x Invulnerability Field II
1 x 10mn Afterburner II
1 x Amarr Navy Small Capacitor Booster
1 x Amarr Navy Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane
1 x Damage Control II
1 x 1600mm Reinforced Steel Plates II
2 x Vespa EC-600 drones
6 x Hornet EC-300 drones
1,622 Republic Fleet EMP M rounds
1 x X5 Prototype I Engine Envervator
1 x Codebreaker I
Do you have any idea how tough this relic is to crack? You’d think something this simple would come with a manual. We’ve used the Khumaak for a long time as a symbol of our defiance. But the presence of one little rock adds a whole new level of meaning.
The church of the Obsidian has kept this relic for nearly four hundred years, though its original meaning was never truly discovered. The orb is carved from blood obsidian, the same material found in the head of the Wildfire Khumaak. The orb’s surface is completely smooth, though it is lighter than it appears.
This is a cluster of drives, each of which contains several exabytes worth of encoded data. Somewhere in here is vital information on the Wildfire Khumaak.