If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously. Punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

The governments say “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that’s true, shouldn’t the governments declassify everything?

It’s not rude to say what everyone else is thinking.

Contrary to popular belief, nobody owes you anything.

Vegetarian. Tribal slang term for the idiot that can’t hunt, fish or ride.

If you’re not scared of your workout, it’s not hard enough.

Ladies, if you get in an argument with a guy, and you have no chance of winning, start playing with your boobs. Trust me on this one.

Covering yourself up fully in clothing is called self-respect but wearing a bikini is called self-confidence. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but send me pictures of you in a bikini.

Education is important. Big biceps are importanter.

Every woman deserves a man who sees her crying and immediately asks “Whose ass are we kicking today, baby?”