I’ve played various social games in my life. I’m currently playing a couple of different MMOs, and no, one of them will never be World of Warcrap. I know I’ll once again sound like a CCP fanboi, but I have to admit, for those that do roleplay within EVE Online, there is a welcoming level of commitment and maturity to it. Sure, we have our asshats like everyone else, and yes, CCP encourages that general behaviour, yet just the same, there is a refreshing level of immersion within our roleplay community.

One example of recently encountered poor roleplay was in TERA Online. I’ll admit, I’ve been trying it out strictly for the sex appeal of the female characters. A secondary reason is as a 3D artist, I find the character creator very well done, though nowhere near as flexible as Eve Online’s (fanboi). The game itself holds limited appeal to me, and I quickly find myself growing bored of the same old linear approach to an MMO. Quest, grind, beg for a group to kill bosses, repeat. The fact that you can get to max level within three weeks of casual play doesn’t help the situation.

Anywho, I digress. Imagine that.

TERA seems to represent the average, stereotypical online community. Sex jokes, racism, immaturity, stupidity, excessive and pointless trolling, you know, like EVE Online but without the witty and insightful double entendres. So there I am, roleplaying away, a Castanic female that truly is just there for comic relief – lighthearted, helpful, fun loving, naive – the opposite of Roc in many ways, when I happened to get involved with another “roleplayer” that wants nothing more than to talk about sexual fantasy with me. This continues as we fight some bosses together, and I casually mention not to be grossed out if my penis slips from my pants. I should’ve waited until after we killed the boss. Suddenly I was the bad guy, misleading him by having a female avatar, embarassing him by letting him talk the way he did, etc, etc. Yeah, it’s MY fault you have no sense of what roleplay is.

Let me make it up to you by including your character name in an EVE Online fiction story, just so my audience is aware of your commitment to roleplay.

***

Deep within the Amarr Empire, one of the four ruling empires in the New Eden cluster, a minor Holder, still of great wealth and power but lacking influence within the inner circle of the ruling Empress Jamyl Sarum, stood on the grandiose balcony of his estate overseeing his vast lands. He was thankful to the divine God, and His embodiment within the galaxy, the fair Empress, for the many blessings in his life: his lands, his wealth, his wives, his mistresses, his boys, his slaves, his children, and the opportunity to serve the Empire, to serve the Lord.

He could see a sleek shuttle departing from a landing pad, growing smaller as it vanished into the majestic blue sky, its beautiful curves and elegance blurring out of focus quickly. The Amarr were the first masters of space travel, held the most advanced technologies within the universe, and were blessed enough to be called to share this wealth of knowledge, both spiritual and practical, with the other three great races of the galaxy. Some were receptive, others had to be molded into a state of receptiveness, most notably the Minmatar. His thoughts wandered to his recent batch of acquired slaves. He wondered how their indoctrination to Vitoc was going, a drug used to subjugate the will. It also happened to create a total dependency in the user, and going without would bring about a slow, yet painful death. Pliability was a wonderful quality. Of course, one might think the cost of Vitoc would be pricey, but considering how cheap it was to acquire Minmatar labour, the cost of Vitoc was negligible by comparison. Hopefully, the elder slaves were helping the new arrivals to adjust to this enlightened state of living they had been blessed with.

He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes, feeling a closeness in spirit to all around him. Yes, he was indeed thankful for all that was his.

There was much commotion within the small village: new slaves being ordered about to their living quarters, older slaves doing their best to help them hurry lest they get beaten by their slave masters, or worse, have the slaver hounds loosed on them as an example to others.

It was a hard life, but many knew no better. There were several generations of slaves within this particular encampment, passed from Father to son to son as each new Holder accepted his title, his lands, and his God given responsibilities.

One mother, despite the frantic nature of the moment, still made time for her youngest and beloved child, a son, who was particularly inquisitive at the most inopportune moments.

“Mom, why is my bigger brother named Thunderstorm?”

She told him, “Because he was conceived during a mighty storm.”

Then he asked, “Why is my older sister named Cornflower?”

She replied, “Well, your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her.”

“And why is my other sister called Moonchild?”

“Because we were watching a hunter’s moon the night she was conceived.”

Thoughtfully, the mother paused and asked her son,

“Tell me, Broken Rubber, why are you so curious about names??”

***

Seriously. Broken Rubber. That is the name that you not only chose, but you purposefully chose Celestial Hills, the ONLY roleplay server in TERA Online to participate in. Really? I mean REALLY? I don’t know what’s worse – that you did this, or that it’s allowed. Back in my EverQuest days, the GMs had strict policies against that type of thing on a roleplay server. Hell, you could get banned if you didn’t roleplay appropriately and received too many warnings.

I’m from a different era I suppose. Not the instant gratification, do what I want, screw you I pay money for this game, generation.

It makes me thankful for Eve, though to be completely honest, I’ve seen that same mentality slowing creeping into our game over the last few years. Thanks for that, goons.

UPDATE:

I was so disgusted by the encounter that I decided to really update my roleplay later that evening. I roleplayed that I was a retired space navy colonel, sitting within his captain’s quarters on a space station, waiting for his ship parts to arrive to equip his fleet, playing a fantasy based game in the interim.  That’s right, roleplay Inception. Eat it.