I’ve already been asked by many of my followers on Twitter “Why are you in Iceland already?” Truth be told, it’s because I’ve learned from past experience. For some unknown karmic reason, I tend to have the worst luck when flying commercially.

This time I was “randomly” selected for additional screening. Two hours later, I was released. Yet somehow I was never asked about the ziploc bag of white protein powder, nor the assorted supplements and vitamins in another baggie I had brought with me. Go figure.

My initial airline misplaced my luggage. Lovely. My connecting airline had no idea where it was either. Fortunately, a little mynx named Erin from Icelandair took my information down on her hand, then manually went and searched for my bag – and people say I’m not charming.

In the interim, I enjoyed several free whiskey shots from the sample booth at the liquor store in the airport, and met some fans whom were happy to take my swag. My merriment was only added to when Erin returned later to announce that she had successfully found my baggage. Apparently it was hard to miss. Not the first time I’ve been told that.

Ned Coker blindly walked by, so I decided to get in his path. True to his gentle nature, he stopped, ready to offer polite assistance, and then upon recognizing me, returned to his truer self, and through much frat house frivolity, we got reacquainted. He also teased me with the offer of a free ride in the CCP pickup van, but we’ll get to that in a bit.

I had been looking forward to the five hour flight, especially after the seven or so whiskey samples, and presumed to think I would get a decent sleep during the journey. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Between the screaming baby, the fat smelly woman beside me, and people kicking my leg as I extended it down the aisle so as not to cramp up my entire lower body in the ridiculously compact seat, I didn’t sleep a wink.

Fortunately, it was cold with a bitter wind when we arrived. That helped me bring me to full alertness.

Remember I mentioned Ned teased me? Now I tease him. His ride never came through. He shrugged and simply said “Sorry buddy.” No fight, no protest, nothing. I’ll have to remember that when I accidentally knock over his last drink. Sorry buddy. He knows I kid.

I arrived to my hotel without incident, and was smiling when I saw that I was literally about 100 feet from the Harpa. I couldn’t ask for anything closer unless I wanted to sleep on the slick road.

After checking in, I had a large breakfast, then a quick nap. I awoke with a half empty bottle in my hand. Without questioning it, I felt bad for the bottle, and mercifully drank down the rest. The Yule Lads proved to be capable of intimate conversation, and after a couple more hours of tossing and turning, I kicked them out of the bed and refreshed myself with a hot shower.

The single thing I enjoy most about Iceland is the hot water. That’s a compliment.

After changing clothes, downing some protein, and pulling out a pack of cigars I had picked up at duty free, I headed into the city.

After some gift shopping for family back home, I found myself hungry. I stopped and picked up some bananas and other essentials for my hotel room, then proceeded downtown to enjoy the annual beef hot dog from the infamous hot dog stand. Man, was it good. So I had three more.

I started back to the hotel then realized I would need more fluids. Hydration is important after all. I asked a local where the liquor store would be, and they gave me directions to the “Vin Poon”. I smiled the entire way – two of my favourite things conveniently under one roof.

Along the way, I stumbled across the Aurum store. I kid you not. I walked in, tried to explain to the sales clerk that I would like to use my isk to buy plex to trade for aurum so that I could purchase a military long sleeved shirt that had caught my eye. I quickly came to realize I was far too drunk to try to deliver the punchline, so left without said shirt.

I arrived at Vin Budin, and was disappointed to see that it only offered alcohol – so much for convenience to my needs. I picked up some supplies for my room, as well as a bottle for Hilmar. I figure I can use it when I drop by CCP HQ tomorrow unannounced. I mean, Roc swag is great, but it only goes so far.

So the plan for the rest of the day? Well, when I finish posting this, I’m going to have another quick nap, then crawl the local pubs following the bittersweet smell of nerd sweat, take their lunch money, and buy myself some more drinks. If they don’t cry too much, I’ll even let them buy themselves a drink or two.

After that, I’ll probably fall asleep watching Icelandic porn, which is vital research for the upcoming 38DD testing. To be fair, it will feel a little awkward if the Yule Lads are still in my room.