Yeah, yeah, I know you wanted a story first…

Recently, I’ve been very focused on breathing. Better breathing = more oxygen through the blood = better performance during exercise. For example, I can now run a vigorous 5k without losing control of my breath. Some of you might think that means I’m simply not exerting myself enough, but with the amount of sweat I’m drenched in, as well as the high calorie burned count after each run, I think I’m exerting just fine. Not to mention I’m usually damned sore after.

Back to breathing.

I’ve found, like is taught in meditation and many martial arts, that long, controlled breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, is the key to optimal oxygen intake. It’s a challenge really. I want to huff and puff, feeling old and out of breath, ready to puke, ready to fall over, ready to give in and give up. Then I remember this:

I’m not done when I’m tired. I’m done when I’m done.

I’ve also taken it one step further. When I’m working out with weights or circuit training or what have you, I only allow myself eight deep breaths between sets. An interesting result has occurred, both in myself, and in many of the people I train: when you know you only get eight breaths of rest between exertion, you really make those eight breaths count. The end result is that I’ve seen a dramatic increase in performance from me and my trainees.

Having said all that, I want to share with you a couple of workouts over the next few days that have really kicked the crap out of me, but with much determined willpower, I’ve made it through them (well, there is one funny incident but I’ll get to that later).

Double J, this one is for you buddy!

Jordan Workout

This workout will cover: Abs, Back, Calves, Cardio, Hamstrings, Hips, Quads. If you don’t see an eight breath break between exercises that is because you are now entering a SUPERSET. Do those exercises back to back, no break at all.

• Russian Twist with medicine ball – Set 1 – 30 reps – You know you’re doing it right if your knees go side to side. Really twist from side to side. You may feel like you’re going to rip your core apart, but you won’t. Maintain the seated V position during the entire exercise!
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Russian Twist with medicine ball – Set 2 – 30 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Russian Twist with medicine ball – Set 3 – 30 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Figure Eight with medicine ball – Set 1 – 30 reps – This is going to target your obliques but you need to keep your entire body tight! Do not be all lose like the guy in the video: he’s just asking for back hurt
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Figure Eight with medicine ball – Set 2 – 30 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Figure Eight with medicine ball – Set 3 – 30 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Pushup with plank twist – Set 1 – 15 reps – don’t do the walk out pushup part. I just figured the guys might enjoy this particular video.
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Pushup with plank twist – Set 2 – 15 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Pushup with plank twist – Set 3 – 15 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Bicycle Crunches – Set 1 – 100 reps – Do NOT put your hands behind your head. Most people will pull on their neck which is REALLY bad for the spine. Place your hands on the side of your head, just for weight distribution, not for use during the exercise. Also note that your shoulder blades need to stay off the ground at ALL times.
• Wall Sit – Set 1 – 1 minute – The Scott Herman video really says everything that needs to be said about this so pay attention.
• Superman Hold – Set 1 – 45 seconds – You’re going to feel this in your lower back like a mother, but hold the pose!
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Bicycle Crunches – Set 2 – 100 reps
• Wall Sit – Set 2 – 1 minute
• Superman Hold – Set 2 – 45 seconds
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Bicycle Crunches – Set 3 – 100 reps
• Wall Sit – Set 3 – 1 minute
• Superman Hold – Set 3 – 45 seconds
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Skaters – Set 1 – 30 reps – Start at 2 minutes into the video. Lots of good insights into this exercise.
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Skaters – Set 2 – 30 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Skaters – Set 3 – 30 reps
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Mountain Climbers – Set 1 – 45 seconds – Keep your butt down and drive those knees to the chest. Pace is important so really push for the burn!
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Mountain Climbers – Set 2 – 45 seconds
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Mountain Climbers – Set 3 – 45 seconds
• Eight Deep Breaths
• Figure Four stretch – 45 seconds each side
• Quad stretch – 45 seconds each side
• Hamstring stretch – 45 seconds each side – notice the back is straight and the stretch starts from the hip!
• Calf Stretch – 45 seconds each side – This narrator seriously helps me relax

Congrats! You did it! Now go shower, you stink of sweat and victory!

Oh, so earlier I alluded to a little incident that occurred the first time I did this workout. So there I am, in a busy gym during evening rush, big jocks and hot fit women everywhere… even seriously built old dude was seriously built!

Anyway, I’m working through this, focused on breathing, in the zone, controlling my movements, maintaining form. I was probably a nine out of ten on the puke scale but was determined to see it through!

Third set of crunches, I was around 80 or so, when an instant an uncontrollable force raced up my throat. I tried to close my mouth but there was no stopping it. Projectile vomit everywhere. I was completely mortified.

Fortunately, cool janitor guy said it wasn’t the first time he’d washed up puke. He was interesting: overweight, baggy clothes, facial piercings, red mohawk; it felt like home. Of course, watching him use one of those old style mop and pails to slosh fresh puke around the gym floor while cleaning probably made many other exercisers want to lose their lunch, and I have to admit I had to leave as the smell got stirred up.

So there you have it, push it til you puke, then keep on going.

I waited until my stomach settled, about three minutes, then pushed through the rest of the workout … in a different room in the gym.