Tyrannis: Memories

– by Casparian

Its amazing how as you get older , memory is only a guide not a reference to your life, however some things you never forget.

There was nothing special about that day, no omens to warn of what was to come , the gods didnt see fit to let our villiage know its idyllic existence was over and was about to be invaded, our worlds resourses raped and its inhabitants slaughtered or made slaves, it was just a ordinary day for me.

I remember the smell of Rietu cooking as I opened my eyes , the sunlight coming through the curtians made the shadows dance and the dust sparkle, the sound of my mothers voice rang through our hut as she sang to herself whilst she prepared the morning meal.As the door opened and my mothers head came through I tried to hide under the covers seeking just another few moments of rest, but not quick enough ” Casp get your ass out of bed and come eat, the crops wont wait on your sleep filled eyes and we need to get the seeds to market this eve” whilst her words were harsh I knew she wasnt angry , probably more amused at my attempt to pretend sleep , its amazing I can remember how nice the Rietu was that morning but still have trouble remembering what my mother wore that day, I will never forget the first bite of Rietu, it wasnt really that memorable but it was what I vomited when half of my mothers head was sliced away, I turned as the door slammed open, the sunlight blinding me for a moment, as all I saw was a large shadow in the door, something in his hand flashed brighter than the sun, bright enough to blind me for a moment and at the crash behind me I spun around.

There are things in my life I wish I could change , I would wish that our planet wasnt Invaded by Amarrian slavers, if that wasnt granted, I would wish I hadnt turned around and seen my mother lying on the floor with half her face missing.

Some of the slaves will tell you they survived because they were strong and fought slavery with all their breath, they are liars, the strong ones died first, screaming and in agony, examples to all of us the rewards that strength brings you.Other slaves will tell you they survived becuase they always had hope , always had a reason to live, I believe these people are lying as well , just to themselves, delusion takes many forms.

I survived because I did what was necessary to live day by day, I had no hope , no delusions, no wild flights of fantasy to help me through the days.I survived by using my wit and intelligence both of which I took pains to hide but both of which were my constant allies.I made myself usefull when necessary and scarce when needed, I may have forgotten the details of a lot of my indenture but I have never forgotten nor forgiven any of the violations,, consider it my own way of coping with it.I take inordinate pride in knowing not one slaver is left breathing who violated me.

In the quiet times late at night when whiskey and age has made me melancholy I am willing to admit that the day I was rescued was also the day I was going to kill myself, no matter how intelligent or full of wit I considered myself to be , I was a slave, I had taken more than enough, twice previously I had tried to kill myself, did you know that you cant strangle yourself, you pass out and wake up with a sore kneck and throat, silly that I tried this method twice then .I was becoming too tall to work on the planet operations, the reason why they didn’t need adults in the first place and the reason for my mothers death along with all the other adults , the childrens mining tunnels were easier to build and needed less construction, so I was being transported to the orbiting station slave gangs, somehow I was going to get myself killed quickly by the gaurds, and this is more difficult than you would believe , the slave lords dont look kindly on losing a valuble resource like a prime slave so torture is prefferable form of punishment over random slave murders.

I have never believed in the gods, a thing I think you will find most slaves share with me, I may not believe in the gods but I am damn sure fate is out there laughing at my tangled skien.My heart isnt a brave one but I am convinced I was just about to try getting myself killed when the first missile hit the transport but back then I didn’t know what a missile sounded like, I may not believe in god but when you think he is taking a personal interest in your soul and is banging on the side of your ship you sure get the hang of praying quick enough.It appears the Amarrian slavers really do value their slaves because when the ship went “pop” I thought that my need to die had been granted, how was a 12 year old supposed to know about containment fields in the cargo bay protecting cargo so it can be rescued, when we started floating away from the seats, manacles our only anchors stopping us from bumping around the hold , that is when the panic set in, screams and tears mixed in with prayers , panic is never a tasty dish.

Apparently the Minmitar freedom fighters have been freeing slaves for as long as most of them can remember, first of all we just thought they were our new masters, our fear and cowering seemed to disgust most of them, it didn’t stop them from helping us though. Some , not many, were more understanding, these were the ones who spent most of their time with us , preparing us for our new lives.The doctors first of all made sure we were healthy then gene spliced our DNA so we effectively became another race, I may be Caldari now but it wasnt always so, the scientists were responsible for our learning and understanding , using a cocktail of boosting drugs and some rather nifty implants our knowledge and capability in this new world were brought up to a reasonable standard and for those of us with the capability like myself, we were given extra skills to match our races , apparently I have perfect attributes to be a caldari missile specialist….go figure.

I am not saying that it was all sweetness and light, far from it, we were not given everything , we were set free with enough to buy a small freehold and understanding enough to make our way in the world or enough to buy a ship and not accept any world as home and forge our own destiny in the stars.Guess where I ended up.

Normally I wouldn’t be writing any of this down, it would stay locked in my head safe and secure but I am close to reaching my goal and living past it isn’t getting good odds as far as I can see.I am in a respectable industrial corporation, I have been running missions for Amarr Ministry of War , building up my standing, smiling the monsters in the face and stabbing them in the back, every mission that requires me to hunt slaves down I set them free, then find loyal Amarr citizens , get them gene spliced and their memories wiped and replaced,and their appearances altered, it isn’t cheap but it gives me great pleasure repaying the slave owning bastards in this way.Unfortunately my sucess may be my own downfall, my sucess in completing missions for the Amarr Empire has brought about a amusing situation, tonight I meet with the Amarr Emperor himself to be personally thanked for one of the more delicate Issues I dealt with.

Tonight I get a chance to repay the Amarrian empire once and for all.I cant remember most of my indenture, a result of the drugs and brain work when I was freed, a blessing most would say but I will never forget my mothers face on the floor ,half of it missing, her remaining one eye staring at me through all these years , finally I get a chance to close her eyes in death , all it will take is one more murder and finally my revenge on the Amarrs will be complete.

Tonight the Amarr empire will know loss like mine , every single one of them , when the Amarr empire falls the vultures will circle and then feed.

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