Playing all Their Cards

I was still seething at my own failure by the time I arrived back in Aldrat. It appeared Nilf Abruskur wsa still reeling from my failure as well.

We dropped the ball on this one, Roc Wieler, and those putrescent, motherless Angel freaks made sure to capitalize on it. Our only consolation is that it cost them, too. We’ve managed to root the Angel spy within our ranks – the one who tipped the Cartel about your visit to the historians. They’re in a world of trouble right now; you can trust me on that.

I bit my tongue for the moment. My own hostility at this game Nilf had been playing, keeping me in the dark, sending me on missions with limited information, putting myself and my crews in unnecessary danger, was second only to my remorse at the historians whose lives were lost during the last engagement.

From our initial interrogation of this captured Angel agent, we have learned that just before the Cartel blew up the outpost, they managed to find and make away with the data we needed on the Wildfire Khumaak. The historian that was supposed to have a text for you relating to it was tortured into handing over his research and was then killed.

Nilf paused, letting his words sink in, letting the blame sink in. Even though he had used the royal ‘we’ in his speech, it was clear who was going to shoulder the blame for this failure. The only reason he hadn’t hung me out to dry already was that he still needed me; and better me than having to put trust in some other random capsuleer, though if push came to shove, I am sure there were hundreds whom could do the job.

They’re offering us a deal. We give them back their agent, and they give us the information we want. They tried to make a bid for the Wildfire, but there wasn’t a chance in hell we were going to entertain that idea, especially once we discovered who their agent was. We negotiated it down to the agent, but we have no intention of making a fair deal with them, simply because when it comes to the Angels, there is no such thing. They have no desire for the safe return of this traitorous scum; in fact if they could kill him right now to shut him up, they wouldn’t hesitate.

I silently agreed with the Angels’ sentiment. This traitor, whomever he might be, had traded lives for money, put profit over morality, and it sickened me.

In addition to providing us intel that the historical texts on the Khumaak have been taken, our captured agent has also revealed something else; its location. His testimony and a good deal of other intelligence we’re receiving is pointing to one of the Angels’ main staging outposts in Metropolis.

Finally, something tangible. I felt we were close.

The defense forces posted at this place are impressive, Colonel, beyond even your capabilities. We’ve come up with a plan to lure some out and reduce their numbers to something you’ll be more easily able to manage. We forced subversion on our Angel prisoner, made him tell his superiors that we’re sending a huge ambush fleet to the meeting point. This should goad them into bringing along a bigger reserve of manpower, most of which will be drawn from that base.

While we’re having the meet, you sneak in, bypass the remaining resistance, and grab the texts that were taken. Underneath the central command center, we’re told there will be several data banks. The documents we’re looking for will be in one of these. You’ll need to deactivate the security firewalls, which means some hacking. You’re looking for a drive cluster called “EDF-285”. Grab it and get the hell out of there before the Angels figure out the game.

Lovely. This time Arsten Takalo wasn’t around to divert attention from this flaw I possessed; I had no hacking skills.

“When’s the meet? I’ll need time to prepare.” I asked.

“You have four days, Roc Wieler.” Nilf replied.

Four days was a long time for a capsuleer to engage in accelerated neural learning. In four days I could easily inject the skills I needed directly into my brain, and probably even get in some hands-on practice time.

I’d also been meaning to pick up a Loki T3 cruiser for quite some time now, so figured now was as good a time as any to kill two birds with one stone; I could pickup the required skillbooks I would need to learn Hacking, and do up a couple of fits for a Loki while I was at it.

Only problem was, I would have to go to Jita, the market hub of the New Eden, right in the heart of Caldari high sec.

Well, I’d been through worse.

Who Art in Heaven

36 HOURS LATER …

We’ve gone over the essential details from the information you recovered, Roc Wieler, good work on getting this back to us. Here’s the decoded message from our Ammatar source:

“All right, my sources have traced the origins of the Khumaak and we’ve been able to get a little bit of information, but we’re still digging. There’s remarkably little mention of this stuff anywhere in official records.

It’s called a Wildfire scepter. Apparently, the Wildfires were a particular kind of Khumaak-like scepter that existed only in certain conclaves of Starkman Prime in the years while the planet was under Amarrian occupation. The physical details all match up; the holes in the shaft, the blood obsidian sun center, the slightly smaller sun spirals. Only one other has been found, ever, and has since gone missing.

According to its previous owner, the wildfires were all destroyed some years before the Starkmanir rebellion in 22947, and it’s not even known for what purpose they were initially created or why, indeed, they were destroyed. We’ll have our sources keep investigating.

Lastly, I’ve cleared you for entrance to the ruins of Arzad. I’ve attached the relevant security access codes. I give you my word that the people there will provide their full cooperation and discretion. I’m told that one of the historians even has a text that mentions this Khumaak of yours.”

There is nothing to suggest that our own agent ever made it out to those ruins. He did not pick up the package you recovered, and he has still not returned to base. As our temporary representative, you will be standing in for him.

Your task is to travel to the system of Arzad, to an orbital forward point for an archeological dig being conducted on a nearby planet – Starkman Prime. There’s a team of historians and archeologists there, a couple of which are supposed to have texts that reference the Wildfire Scepters. Make your way over there and await further instructions. We’ll get to the bottom of this mystery yet.

Nilf disconnected abruptly.

Hmmm, I thought to myself. There is definitely some things he’s not telling me.

Firstly, Arzad was in Devoid region, roughly 14 jumps from my current location and smack dab in the middle of hostile Amarr war territory. In fact, I knew from firsthand experience that the 24th Imperial Crusade had a logistic support station there near Arzad VIII.

Why would there be an archeological dig going on in the middle of a combat zone? It didn’t make sense, unless things were truly that desperate, which was plausible I supposed.

Still, it didn’t feel right.

I asked Aura to run an analysis on the transmission; just to check validation and authenticity. She quickly did as I asked, noting one discrepancy between the transmission and the objective data sent: Nilf had sent me Erstur as my destination system, which was much closer than Arzad.

Things just got more peculiar.

Either he was aware our conversation was being listened in to, and was feeding disinformation to our audience, which would hopefully buy me some time to go to Erstur; or he genuinely made a mistake.

From what I could gather of the man, he wasn’t one that tolerated mistakes, least of all from himself. This left me more inclined to believe the first scenario.

In retrospect, I simply could’ve commed for confirmation, but I didn’t want to appear to be slow on the draw.

It was time to make a decision.

I flipped a coin; Arzad won.

14 JUMPS LATER …

The Onslaught made her way across space slowly to Arzad. Passing through Dal enroute, I continued to get updates from military intelligence; the Amarr were out and about in force it seemed. At least it wasn’t going to be a boring day.

I had a scout escort me to Amarr space, wherein he had to rejoin his fleet for another op. I thanked him, wishing him “fly safe”, the standard farewell between pilots.

I jumped into Arzad.

My heart sank as Aura set off every alarm she possessed. There was a gatecamp of at least a dozen Amarr battleships, another fifteen or so battlecruisers, and plenty of frigates, destroyers, cruisers and interceptors to round things out.

I had found the roaming Amarr fleet. Lucky me.

There was no way with my current fit that the Onslaught would be able to stand against this many capsuleers. I had my crews ready their battle stations, and weighed my options.

The gate I had just jumped through was 14 km away. Unfortunately, it would take me nearly 10 seconds to align from my current heading to that trajectory. In that time, I was sure to get webbed, scrammed and killed, and there were too many crew members onboard to consider.

There was nothing remotely inline with my current alignment, so trying to make a quick jump to anywhere was out of the equation also.

I knew time was running out. Soon, the gate would fully have my ship resolved into real space, and I would be visible and vulnerable to the Amarr.

Shit! I thought to myself. There were no other good words to express how I felt at the certain loss of my billion isk command ship.

Well, if I was going to go, I was going to go out fighting.

I mentally picked my primary from my overview, took a deep breath, and was about to give Aura the command to engage the afterburners when something miraculous happened.

The Amarr fleet began jumping through the gate.

I  literally held my breath. I refused to move or think. I didn’t want to do anything to jinx this gift I had been given. If I was lucky beyond measure, the entire fleet would jump out before I resolved into realspace.

That wasn’t destined to happen, but what did happen was pretty damn close.

Two interceptors and a single cruiser were still on this side of the gate when I finally reverted.

They instantly targetted me.

I managed to pop the first with my artillery before he could get any speed, all the while urging Aura to align me to the nearest moon. It was time to leave.

Undoubtedly, reinforcements were on the other side of the gate, and would be more than eager to get a kill.

Long story short, we got away by the skin of our teeth. My adrenaline was pumping, and I wanted nothing more than to take a step back and relax. The Amarr wouldn’t afford me that luxury. I knew they would be scanning down the system, looking for the safespot I had bookmarked, and that my time here in Arzad would be short today.

I spent the next half hour performing my own scans, trying to locate the archeological site Nilf had sent me to.

I managed to stay ahead of the Amarr for quite some time, but came to the point where I knew I was pushing my luck.

There was no dig going on in this system. Time to head to Erstur. Damn you, Nilf.

I warped on top of the exit gate, easily breaking through the anticipated Amarr camp waiting for me there.

I quickly jumped through, pleased to see the Tribal Liberation Force reinforcements I had called in engaged with the Amarr on the other side.

I hurried on my way to Erstur.

16 JUMPS LATER … AT THE ARCHEOLOGICAL SITE IN ERSTUR

Shit… the Cartel is here, and they’re targetting the outpost. You need to act quickly. Secure the area and protect the archeologists!

Four Gistii battleships pounded at me, effectively blockading me from the outpost. Six battlecruisers joined them, leaving me no choice but to play on the defensive side.

It was very slow going, and during the entire engagement I could see frigates, cruisers, battlecruisers and battleships bombarding the outpost.

I had to get through.

Finally, I got through the hull of a battleship. This was far too slow going.

By happenstance, I scanned the outpost, only to find it was now in structure. A spike of fear surged through me.

Were they actually going to destroy it? I thought incredulously.

That is when the archeological outpost exploded, and my stomach sank. Nilf was quick to chime in.

The outpost is down. We’ve lost this battle … and the Cartel knows it. I’ve just received word from one of their commanders; the terms of agreement for an exchange. Forget the base; it’s a lost cause now, just come back to me.

Fucking hell! I cursed myself. Goddammit!

I berated myself as I set a course back to Nilf. I hated failure, especially in myself. I had entirely misread the situation at the outpost, and after the hell I had gone through to get there in the first place … dammit.

I had let the RSS down.

I had let myself down.

I had let the Republic down.

I had let those archeologists down.

We have a transmission from the Angels. Those god-damned slime-excreting vermin. I think you better get back here right now. We’re gonna need you for this next part.

Surfacing

NILF ABRUSKUR’S RAPIER IN ALDRAT

We’ve had analysts from the Krusual and Thukker tribes going over the doucments you recovered from our agent’s private compound. They’ve made one more promising discovery so far which we want you to follow up.

Something I had learned in my experience was that the more people were involved in keeping a secret, the less likely that secret would remain such.

Too many hands were getting involved in this mix, and it made me much more cautious than I typically would’ve been. It was almost borderline paranoia and conspiracy theory; I was expecting the unexpected at every turn. It wasn’t the way I preferred to live.

As a military pilot, I was very straightforward. If you were my enemy, I’d shoot you in the face. If you weren’t, I’d fly your wing with pride.

Intelligence operatives were masters of making things overly complicated and convoluted for no other purpose than to maintain their mystifying stereotype to outsiders; and in this case anyone not part of the Intelligence Division was considered an outsider, myself included.

There was no trust, no straightforwardness. I needed to know that the person I was talking to, the person assigning me to life and death situations was trustworthy. If not, it was a fool’s errand each and every time. I would be more likely to cheat death by putting a pistol to my head and hoping for an empty round than by continually working for Republic Fleet Intelligence, at least in this “need to know” capacity.

Just the same, I would do my sworn duty. That is who I was. And that was the main differentiation between me and Nilf. If I said it, I’d do it. There was no reason to doubt.

They found a communication from our source inside the Ammatar Consultate. It seems she sent a package of information on the Wildfire Khumaak to the system of Jark for pickup not long ago. Our guess is that due to the sensitivity of the information and the amount of attention it’s attracting, our asset in the Consulate could only get it to the border, not across. This could play in our favour though. Due to its location in the San Matar constellation – the heartlands of Ammatar space – there’s a good chance our agent didn’t make it out there yet. We have to be careful where our operatives are seen sometimes.

I continued to listen to Nilf’s briefing, but at the same time I casually brought up military intelligence on the San Matar constellation. Average security status was 0.8, and it wasn’t deemed Amarr sovereignty, so I would have no outright issues with their military forces. So far, things seemed straightforward, for a change.

The drop-off location inside Jark is a complex known as Tili’s Red Light Palace.

My eyebrow shot up of its own accord. He had my full attention.

Initial Intelligence is that it’s just another merc RR dive, nothing special. Once you have arrived to the area we’ll forward the exact location of the cargo.

I had to re-read the real time transcript on a side monitor to catch up on what Nilf said. My mind was still back at Tili’s Red Light Palace.

Speaking of which, I trust I needn’t remind you how important those documents could be, or indeed, how sensitive. Proceed with caution, do not take any risks.

Sensitive. Caution. No risks. Condoms. Got it.

JARK SYSTEM

The Onslaught was at full crew capacity. I had never seen so many volunteers for a mission. You could smell the testosterone hanging in the air, the pheromones seeping through the air ducts.

I was thankful to be isolated in my pod; I’d wager the body odour levels were high out there as well.

Nilf commed me:

Okay, here we are. Head for the brothel complex on your right. It’s the one in the middle where you’ll find the package.

It’s an odd sensation sometimes, being a Capsuleer. With experience, you learn how to control your thoughts, how to allow Aura to differentiate between commands and random stirrings. Some pilots verbalized these commands, but that was more for their own benefit and focus than for Aura.

Unfortunately, she often read your strongest thought impulses, responding to those core instincts in each of us, ignoring surface thoughts altogether.

In this instance, even before Nilf commed me, my ship was heading towards the brothel, as soon as I saw what it was on my overview.

If my men (and women) aboard were as excited as I was, this would be a fantastic mission. I had already told them that should all go well, we might just dock up here for a day or two, taking some leave time. They deserved it. Hell, I deserved every orgasmic moment of it, though even thinking about sex was a little premature.

We were just out of range to initiate docking procedures when an unexpected comm came my way.

Well boys, looks like we got ourselves another poddie trespassin’ our domain here. Why don’t we show him what happens to uppity eggers who think they can hang with the big boys?

I could never catch a break. Did these yokels really think they could stand against a Command ship of the Tribal Liberation Force with one of the most well decorated and well respected Matar Colonels at the helm?

You would think I would’ve learned that the amount of eating your words done was inversely proportional to the amount of boasting you did ahead of time.

These guys were serious business.

Multiple Battlecruisers, several frigates, they warped in and pounded me with their initial volleys. I had to align my ship away, giving the Onslaught some distance from the Brothel; the last thing I wanted was civilian casualties and being tied publicly to this place.

A second wing warped in with triple the ships of the first. I launched my valkyrie drones, my artillery cannons straining with the exertion of overheating. I hadn’t seen this large a mercenary force in a long while.

They launched spider drones, which quickly snagged me, but I was smart and had a plan. I would micro jump back to the brothel, engaging the bigger ships that had fallen behind in distance, and at the same time putting distance between my ship and those spider drones.

Are you freaking kidding me? I thought to myself as my drones didn’t micro-jump the 300 km with me. They simply sat motionless, watching as the spider drones quickly made their way back to me and webbed me, allowing the numerous battleships I had engaged to pommel me without any drone support on my side.

I spent the next two hours barely surviving what should’ve been a routine encounter, all due to one foolish noob mistake. Let that be a lesson to all of us.

Finally, I had junked all the ships, and was trying to make my way back to my Valkyrie drones. I couldn’t target the fast-moving, hostile spider drones with my artillery, but at a current velocity of 34 m/s, there was no way I would ever get back to my drones.

Thankfully, I was smarter than drones.

I warped away, then warped back in at 100km range.

I made it about 100m before the spider drones had closed the distance and webbed me again.

Thankfully, I was smarter than drones on the second try.

I warped away, then warped back in at 0 km range, and hit my afterburner, pushing in the opposite direction away from my drones.

I made it about 100m before the spider drones had closed the distance and webbed me again.

Thankfully, I was smarter than drones on the seventh try.

I warped away, then warped back in at 100 km range, near my drones, the enemy spider drones finally out of their aggression range on the far side of the brothel.

Take that stupid drones! I mocked myself.

I scooped up my valkyries, and approached the brothel.

Using an RSS specialist that had been assigned to this mission, we managed to retrieve an encrypted transmission the RSS Ammatar spy had hidden on the brothel broadband. Even with the specialist, it was still a wholly incomprehensible string of 1s and 0s.

I bought the specialist a shuttle, and sent him on his way.

After the day we had endured, my crew and I weren’t leaving just yet.

If Nilf had issue with that, well, then it was just that much sweeter now wasn’t it.

Poetic Therapy

“You’ve been doing well I see.” she said to me as I laid on her couch.

In self reflection, I found it amazing how comfortable I had grown with this woman. I was perfectly fine reclined on her couch, open to her guidance and advice.

Remembering my views on women back then, it was quite remarkable. I was as chauvinistic and pigheaded as they came, as were most Brutors.

“Yeah, I got no complaints.” I said, still somewhat more dismissively than intended. My emotional walls were so quick, so instinctive. I didn’t even have to think about deflecting anything that made me uncomfortable to talk about; it just happened reactively. That was something that sorely needed my attention.

“I listened to your concert. It was very good, and must’ve taken a lot for you to get up on stage like that, especially in hostile enemy territory.” she continued.

I didn’t know whether she was referencing Jita as hostile, Caldari as hostile, or massive crowds of people as hostile, as they all bothered me equally.

“Yeah, it went better than I thought it would.” I replied without any particular interest. I snickered a little at myself, remembering one faux pas that occurred on stage, involving me tripping me over some wires and stumbling as I regained my balance; the audience laughter certainly was mortifying, but life went on.

“Still, you’ve been making great strides forward in your endeavour for self-improvement. You should feel good about yourself today.”

I had a hard time accepting compliments or praise. I was always suspicious of the sarcasm, and anticipated the punchline every time.

It wasn’t that I was self-deprecating; there were many things about my life I was proud of. It was more that I didn’t really require the approval of others. If you liked what I did or if you didn’t, it never really affected me directly, and I wouldn’t be changing who I was to accommodate you.

I suppose the fact that I had been undergoing therapy dictated otherwise, but I’d wager that was at least part of what made us such compelling and complex organisms.

“Well, thanks doc.” I said without a hint of sarcasm.

“Not at all, Colonel Wieler.” she replied.

The hairs on the nape of neck stood on end. There was something about her addressing me formally that gave me chills. Every time she had done this in our previous sessions resulted in something awkward and uncomfortable coming my way.

“I was thinking that we need to take your inner expressions to the next level.” she said.

Wait for it.

“Poetry recital.”

And there it was, like a kick to the groin.

“I believe it would be positively reinforcing to nurture this aspect of your persona. It will be healthy, cleansing.”

She seemed very satisfied with herself, probably fully aware of the new level of squirreliness she had incited in me.

There was no point in protesting, as much as my mind screamed at me to do so. She would contrive something even more embarassing as an alternative, and frankly I didn’t even want to entertain the notion as to what that might be.

“Poetry, eh?” I said, chewing on the words, wishing I could spit them out, along with the idea.

“Alright, doc. I’ll give it a try. You’re the shrink.” I said, trying to take a desperate jab at her in some way; some juvenile attempt at establishing my male dominance.

She didn’t bite at the bait.

“Yes I am, Colonel, and our hour is up. See you next week.”

Bah.

Maintenance Program

I don’t know if you’re like me, but being a Capsuleer, you probably are. We’re a lazy bunch, truth be told; spending far too much time immersed in our pods, keeping the fate of worlds in balance, yet at the same time, neglecting the temples that are our bodies.

I can remember being on recon missions for months at a time, stuck in the tight confines of my Rapier Blue Vein, going a bit stir crazy in all honesty, which made me all the more thankful for these workout routines.

DISCLAIMER: Always consult a physician before engaging in these exercises/nutritional recommendations. Not all capsuleers are created equal. Work to what you can, building up over time. Do not over-exert yourself to the point of feeling faint or dizzy.

Remember, you can cheat all you want; you’re only cheating yourself.

BASIC

NUTRITON

  • Drink at least 2 litres of water per day.
  • Eat a large, healthy breakfast. Eat a medium sized lunch. Eat a small dinner. Go to bed hungry.

EXERCISE – MORNING AND EVENING

  • Cardio Cleaning for 30 minutes. This is regular ship/quarter cleaning, but without any rest. (Once per day only).
  • 3 sets of 20 pushups, maximum 30 seconds rest between sets. Hands should be shoulder width apart and the middle of your hands should be equal to your nipples.
  • 3 sets of 10 body squats. A body squat consists of legs shoulder width apart, weight on your heels the entire time, back straight, arms at 90 degrees, and lower your body (again, weight on heels) as far as you can, as though sitting down. It’s important to keep your back as straight as possible. You will know if you’re not doing it right, as your lower back will start to hurt.
  • Abdominal plank. It’s the same position as a pushup, but on your elbows. Hold that position for as long as you possibly can, timing yourself. When you can no longer hold it and collapse, rest 30 seconds, then repeat, forcing yourself to meet the same amount of time as your first plank.

INTERMEDIATE

NUTRITON

  • Drink at least 2 litres of water per day.
  • Eat a large, healthy breakfast. Eat a medium sized lunch. Eat a small dinner. Go to bed hungry.
  • Start taking a good Whey Protein Isolate 30 minutes before your workout and immediately afterwards. Allmax Isoflex is a good brand. A little pricey, but hey, we’re talking about our temples here.

EXERCISE – MORNING AND EVENING

  • 45 minutes cardio cleaning. Same as Basic, but damn are things starting to look clean. (Once per day only).
  • 3 sets of 20 pushups. No more than 30 seconds rest inbetween sets. This time, alternate between regular pushups and clapping pushups, that is, clap your hands together when you push yourself up off the ground.
  • Side abdominal plank. Same as Basic, but alternate with resting all your weight on one elbow, turning your body perpendicular to the ground, extending your other hand towards the ceiling, maintaining a rigid body the entire time.
  • 3 sets of 10 body squats, same form as basic, but this time at half speed. Feel that burn.

ADVANCED

NUTRITION

  • Drink at least 2 litres of water per day.
  • Time to up things a notch. In addition to your protein supplement, start taking a non-phase loading creatine. Anything else is just pumping your muscles full of water to look big, but the day you stop taking them, you’re going to look small again. Purple K brand is excellent. Take one of these before your workout, and one after.
  • SIX meals per day. You heard me. Each meal should be 3 hours apart, and each portion shouldn’t be any bigger than what you can hold in one hand. It’s very important to start eating healthy.

EXERCISE – MORNING AND EVENING

  • 1 hour of cardio cleaning. Everything should be spotless on a daily basis at this point. (Only once per day).
  • 2 sets of EPIC FAIL. Do as many “push-off” pushups as you can. This is where you push your hands AND your feet off the ground when pushing up. Do as many of these as you can. Immediately after fail, do clapping pushups until you can’t do anymore. Immediately after fail, do regular pushups until you can’t do anymore. Immediately after fail, do girl pushups, that is, knees on the ground, until you can’t do anymore. Rest 5 minutes and repeat.
  • Abdominal Assault. Do alternating “Superman” planks, that is, in the plank position, extend one leg and the opposite arm, until fail, then switch sides. This is gonna hurt. Trust me. Hold as long as possible, matching or exceeding the second set with the first.
  • Suicide Squats. 3 sets of 20 squats, where you launch yourself as high you can into the air, extending your neck and spine, landing into a smooth squat as low as you can. Rest no more than 30 seconds inbetween sets.

And there you have it.

Keep at it; don’t be discouraged. These are just a few simple exercises I thought of off the top of my head from my many routines.

They may not all be right for you. The important things are to start eating better, get some cardio activity daily, and to push your muscles a little more each day.

If you have a desire for other exercise variations, or are limited in what you can do and need something more specialized, feel free to leave a comment in this thread, and I’ll try to help you out as best I can.

Iceland Press

Was looking at my blog stats earlier today and noticed quite a few hits from an Icelandic website. After a little digging, and a little googling, it turns out to be a news review of Fanfest, and I’m mentioned in it. Very flattering.

I also managed to become very ill upon returning to Canada, one of my computer drive arrays failed (with no backup, d’oh!) and I lost my keys… but most of the drama has passed hopefully.

Look forward to me getting back in character soon.

ICELAND PRESSAN

Aftermath

He uttered more obscenities under his breath, cursing the capsuleers anew. He spoke aloud to no one but himself, but that was fine with him; he had realized long ago that he was his own best company.

“It’s going to take me days to clean up this goddamned mess.” he grumbled to nobody.

He pushed his broom across the floor, sweeping up more of the garbage left behind. For four days they had come to his section of the assembly plant, and for four days they had drank their fool faces off.

Many of his colleagues had been bitter with envy that we has going to be so close to them, the eternal pod pilots of New Eden. The few “friends” he had demanded he get them autographs, or pictures, or anything from any of them.

He harumphed and moaned, regurgitating the same thing he had been saying for decades; there weren’t nothing special about capsuleers.

When he was young, he had served as a reserve in the Caldari infantry; that is, until he blew two of his own fingers off during a training exercise. They gave him a crap medal he had hocked years ago as thanks, and that was that.

Now had he been a capsuleer, they would’ve spent the money fixing him up. It’s not like the technology wasn’t there; he just wasn’t worth the money or the effort.

Nobody understood the capsuleers like he did. They weren’t some gods, worthy of adoration. No, they were spoiled sycophants, obsessed with nothing but themselves; not a one of them deserved immortality.

He piled up some more garbage near the trash receptacle.

For 38 years, he had whined to his wife about the injustice served to his life because of the capsuleers. Eventually, she had taken enough and left him, as had most of his other friends.

That suited him just fine; his life was better off without them anyway.

He lived alone, in small quarters on the station, taken to be an eccentric and bitter old man. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him. He didn’t care about anything.

He did his job, though even that was becoming tiresome lately, his body aching in ways it never used to. He knew he would never advance his life to where he had wanted it to be in his youth, but that wasn’t his fault. He had asked for raises over the years, only to be reminded that he could easily be replaced by a cleaning drone, and that he should be thankful they kept him at all.

He barely made enough to get by in all honesty.

He grumbled some more, cursing the capsuleers. There were legends surrounding their untold wealth, but like he had said to his “friends” so many times during poker night, not a one of them ever left a tip. In fact, he hadexperienced the distinct pleasure of empty booze bottles shoved in his face, half-eaten meals thrown at his feet, and worse, all the while enduring their insufferable attitude towards everyone not among their elite caste.

Quite simply, he hated everything about them.

Everyone dismissed him as a bitter old man, rife with jealousy of a life he would never have. Damn right he was bitter, and rightly so.

He continued sweeping with his push broom, his back starting to ache, cursing some more about how long it was going to take to clean up his section of the station.

One day they would know he was right. One day everyone would see the eggers for what they truly were; tyrants with the minds of children.

It made him scowl just thinking about them, and yet he could think of nothing else.

What was that? he thought to himself.

He stopped his sweeping for a moment, looking at the detrious he had collected. He squinted his eyes closely, trying to focus on what he had seen a moment before.

It was shiny.

He put the broom aside, squatting down by the pile of refuse, his joints cracking and popping loudly as he did so.

He began swiping away garbage, trying to dig through to reveal the shiny object he had seen.

His eyes opened wide as he finally cleared away enough trash to unveil his discovery; a single ISK chit.

He looked around quickly, even though he knew he was alone. He grabbed the ISK immediately, holding it up for closer inspection.

It was intact. Sunuvabitch!

He stood up quickly, despite the many protests of his body, leaving his broom discarded on the floor, and walked towards his quarters.

Let someone else deal with this shit, he thought to himself.

He would pack his meager belongings, and he would leave this hellhole. Maybe he would buy a condo on a nice vacation planet; maybe he would take that young stripper he visited regularly with him.

He would definitely get the latest prosthetic fingers, and that was a fact.

A whole new universe of possibilities had just opened up to him.

It didn’t matter what he would end up doing, or where, or whom with. What mattered was that he was now rich beyond his wildest dreams, the entire galaxy his plaything, and for the first time since the day he had married his ex-wife, he smiled.

Iceland 2009 – Final Entry

Dust … beyond awesome! CCP … so much coolness. So … much … beer. Too … many … djs. Roxor!

2 cents per kilowatt for energy … need energy.

Miss … wife … love you. So … tired … hungover… iClone bought me drinks … incredible nice people … even Goons. Players … rock!

Black Lavender = Michael Williams … training to be UFC fighter. Kudos!

Ozzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Mmmm … Shae …

Autographs … mind-blowing … charity … fun. Tall … sexy … Caldari.

Soon … blue lagoon … hahaha … rhyming.

Fanfest 2009 … the best time I won’t remember!

Fly safe.

Iceland 2009 – Entry #8b

Hmmm, only a few moments before I have to go eat breakfast then over for the movie matinee… ohhh, good place to start!

INCARNA

No fancy walking in stations video this year. Instead, they opted to show a really nice cinematic of a pilot exiting his pod in a station, and his inner thoughts about the entire process.

It really reinforced the elitism that capsuleers feel, and how much better than the rest of the society they are convinced they are. No matter how arrogant any of us think we are ingame, we’re nowhere near the mark set by this CCP video.

ROCK BAND

Well, Sam and the Rockettes (see what he did there?) made their debut at Fanfest. We had good fun (aside from really annoying group of Goons in the back, GOD they are asshats when they get together as a herd, except Black Lavender, everyone loves Black Lavender) and placed 4th in the competition.

Somehow my sweater came off for the second song, and I was left standing in a muscle shirt, the deafening roar of the ladies present very distracting. Hmmm, looking back, it may have been laughter, but either way, *shrug.

WHATS NEXT FROM CCP?

Planetary Interaction. Saw some nice screenshots of this. Think orbital bombardment with planetary grid control of the surface. After that comes Incarna, then Dust 514, which I am totally excited about seeing more on today.

Also, CCP is currently around the 400 employee mark, and is actively looking to fill another 88 roles. So if you have any interest at all, check their website for details.

Overall, EVE Online is going to have an incredibly strong year.

RANDOM ROC

  • I got interviewed by Iceland Channel 2 News
  • Met Wollami from DOTLan
  • Met Serenity Steele (who is not the hot chick I thought she was!)
  • Met the iClone developer, then proceeded to ask him if he knew we were going to crush his application. He took it all in good fun (ha ha?)
  • Met a guy that has actually been using the EVE API and Cache Data to form an educational hypothesis and simulation generator for the spread of disease and virus outbreaks within New Eden using jumpgate travel data, population densities, etc, etc. It is the single most fascinating use of the API I’ve ever heard of. Very cool stuff my friend.
  • Went to that giant burger restaurant again with Chris and Tennille.
  • Found out the Sisters of EVE tour rocks. I can’t wait to bring my wife next year for this.
  • Shoved my way past a fat Amarr.
  • Oh, and this one is interesting… in fact…

NEW NPC AI ENVIRONMENT PITCH

So I got talking to one of the CCPers I am getting to know fairly well about an actual gaming mechanic I’ve been working on for about eight years. I won’t go into details here simply because he was REALLY interested, and said it was actually inline with something they were trying to accomplish and sounded like a viable solution to that issue.

How cool would that be if one of my ideas made into the game itself? Anyway, just wanted to say that if you see the factions starting to behave in a new and self-aware, goal driven way in the future, you read it here first.