Ever have one of those dreams where you’re being held by the most passionate of lovers who possesses the most tender touch? The type of dream that sends chills up and down every hair on your body? The kind that leaves you drenched in sweat and other blissful bodily fluids when you awake?
Yeah, this was not that type of dream.
I was with the most beautiful woman I had ever known, that much was true. We were planetside, in a high rise civilian living complex. We waited in the lobby with other strangers for the elevator to arrive. The small lighted “up” arrow taunted us, someone giving in and repeatedly pressing the button, thinking perhaps somehow if you pressed it more, the elevator would arrive more quickly.
I smirked at the beautiful woman with me, and she shook her head at me, being able to read my thoughts as clearly as if I spoken the words out loud. She wasn’t a telepath or anything; she just knew me to my very soul.
The ground shook briefly, bits of dust and debris dropping from the ceiling. Everyone had a nervous look about their faces, even though I knew this planet wasn’t part of any current wars. At least none that I was aware of as a capsuleer.
I cracked a joke. “Maybe a giant movie monster?” One of the other women smiled demurely, her eyes looking away shyly.
Without warning, the entire building began to topple. The wall became the floor. I fell over my lover, covering her with my body. I felt a deep pain in my kidney and lower spine, followed by a ringing in my ears as a large chunk of something hit me in the back of my head. Finally, a larger piece of something drove into my shoulder, but I found I couldn’t scream out in pain.
I looked at her and could hardly comprehend the complexity of the emotions captured in that eternal moment within her eyes. She was terrified, yet sad. Not scared of the situation; she knew I would always protect her. Not scared of me of course. Scared of something else. She looked so tragic, so full of despair. Her eyes were like shiny glass, tears forming around the outer rim.
My vision began to darken. I wanted to ask her what she was feeling, to describe to me that emotional storm I had just seen on her face. It pierced my heart to see her like that and I wanted to make sure I understood it so that I could make sure she never had to feel that way again.
I couldn’t speak. The ringing was louder, now with voices echoing impossibly far away. The darkness finally descended and I wondered how the lights had gone out so completely.
In the distance, I could make out her voice. She was crying “No no no no no no, don’t go. I love you.”
I told her I loved her too, but I know it was only a thought expressed in my head.
I awoke with a start, drenched in that other kind of sweat, and in the darkness of my quarters, panicked. My eyes adjusted quickly and I could dimly make her out on the bed beside me. I rolled towards her, holding her tight, and whispered “I love you. Never forget that. Ever.” in her ear. She mumbled “I love you, too. Go to sleep.” and pulled the blankets towards her, rolling away from me, grumbling to herself, oblivious of what I had just been through. I smiled and kissed her cheek before laying back down.
I had never been so happy to not have a dream come true.