From the moment I realize consciousness, I am keenly aware of the pain in my chest and triceps. It’s that good burn that comes from having pushed myself, that same burn that makes the warm bed you’re laying in all the more appealing. I take a deep breath and am relieved to not feel nauseous. Having consumed 3000 calories the day prior had left me bloated after every meal, and even disoriented when I finally collapsed into my bed at 1930 hours.
Before the excuses can take root, before the duvet can embrace me in its loving touch, I am up and out of bed. My feet hit the cold steel of my quarters, and I am alert. I splash water on my face from my nearby sink and stare at the man in the mirror who always looks a little older first thing in the morning, with deeply etched lines around my eyes. It’s not as easy to push myself anymore. I don’t let that deter me.
I’m at the gym and warming up. 38 minutes of hell coming for my legs. I will persevere. I will be victorious. I will not stop when I am tired – I will stop when I’m done. Beast Up!
My legs give out during a Bulgarian split squat. I fall, embarrassed and angry, to the gym floor, 40 dumb bells dropping from my grip. I growl at myself and push back up. The few others in the gym at this ungodly time of the morning back off, seeing I don’t need help. I finish my set and find the pace again. Inwardly, I berate myself. My mind controls my body, not the other way around.
I am finished. I sit on the floor. You’re supposed to always keep moving after a workout. I can’t move. I take deep breaths but my legs tremble uncontrollably. I feel vulnerable, and I detest that feeling.
I can stand. I make my way to the change room and find renewal in an invigorating hot shower. A regular speaks to me as my head hangs down, my eyes closed, my arms resting against the wall as the water pours over me. “You look amazing, Roc. I don’t know how you do it.” I try to chuckle, but all that comes out is a half-hearted grunt. “I don’t give myself a choice. That’s all there is to it.” He nods at me, but his eyes have that same troubled look of those that simply don’t understand.
Anybody that says they enjoy working out is a liar. We only enjoy the results.
Damn ain’t that the truth,
After spending last year off the bike from surgery and a later broken foot from playing football with kids half my age, I am at a pin t about 35 pounds heavier than I have ever been.
I am having issues with a bad back from a motorcycle accident in my twenties, and am really living with pain every day of my life at this point.
I have started the cycling again this fall, summer was just too damn hot and am training at 20 mile daily rides and trying to control the caloric intake to get the weight to start to drop.
My Sunday ride is 2x my training ride, and I must say I enjoy the scenery that cycling provides and the health benefits that come with it. But the first 15 min on the bike is painfull until you get warmed up and really the motivation to ride is in what I know the end result will be with the weight back off I will look better and feel better.
But I must say it is really hard to stay motivated as the fall weather starts to arrive, I swear that this coming year will be the year I hit my goal and get a century ride in. I have do e a metric century 3 years ago and should have been able to do a century if it hadnt been for a bad gall bladder and a broken foot, so it’s like starting all over again.
Dont give up Roc, Giving up is dying…
Thanks for dropping by and commenting. No worries on me giving up, it’s not in my nature. It hurts like hell, and it’s worth it.
I’m going to hold you accountable for that century ride next year. Keep me posted.
I am getting some cold weather gear for when the snow is not on the ground, and I have the trainer and my sufferfest videos ready for when the snow is on the ground. I will keep you posted
Zandramus, I’d love to join you on the century ride if you’re looking for a companion. I’ve done a lot of distance cycling over the past 2 years including several 75km round trips out to see Roc!, and a few Metric Century rides. I’d love the opportunity for a true century ride!
I completed my Day 2 workout (Build: Legs). I mis-read the schedule yesterday and did “Total Body” by mistake; at least I did a workout. My muscles are feeling pretty sore, that’s for sure. But I guess that’s a good thing! Looking forward to doing the workout tomorrow, “Build: Back & Bis”. I think my form is pretty good so far, and the weight level is definitely challenging.
I also need to work on my meal plan – I know I’m eating too few calories, as I’m still in the mental state of eating 1500-1700 calories, not 2450 that this plan has me on! I’m working on it. Hopefully I’ll have it figured out by the start of Week 2. Right now I’m focusing on making sure I’m eating healthy foods that are on the list.
Making sure I find 6 days a week to workout is going to be a big challenge. The weekends when my daughter is with me could prove to be challenging since I don’t have anyone to watch her while I go to the gym for an hour. The weekdays when she’s with me isn’t as much of a problem because I can workout while she’s at school.
Sleep. Yes, sleep. The one area of the trifecta that has always suffered. I’m going to try and do better.
Thanks Roc for organizing this workout challenge! I am definitely up for it! It’s a great way to refocus on the body training.