Looking back at my youth, I realize I was both naive, ignorant and chauvinistic. As a slave I wasn’t afforded the opportunity to attend any fancy schools, or garner a formal education. I learned by doing, or hearing how to do from my friends. Later in life, of course, I realized most of my friends had told me was complete garbage, and had to unlearn so many things, but that’s another story.

There are countless tales to be told on the horrors of slavery, and not one of them will do justice to the actual reality of this abhorrent practice. The real testament to the strength and spirit of the Minmatar people, to any people that have ever experienced the brutal and unforgiving cruelty that is enslavement, is their ability to find happiness in the midst of the greatest inhumanity any being could suffer.

All that is to say that when we did party, we partied well.

At the time, Mihan and I were still inexperienced with each other sexually. We had messed around, as all teenagers do, but when it came to “doing the deed”, we found ourselves a little shy and apprehensive. She was my soul mate, the most true love of my life, and the only woman I had ever truly cherished above everything else. It was probably for the best that we didn’t rush into things. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.

I will never forget one particular celebration we shared, in recognition of one of our Brutor traditions. Really, as teenagers, we used any excuse we could to get together, drink, make out, smoke, and feel like adults. I was never a drinker as a young man, but I comforted many friends that spent hours puking their guts out from drinking too much. Adults had nothing on us.

Mihan and I had isolated ourselves from the main party, desperately wanting a little alone time together. My friend Tiny and his conquest had secreted into the room beside ours. We discovered quickly just how thin the walls were in that dwelling!

It seemed every time Mihan and I drew closer in our intimacy, there would be loud, sometimes awkward sounds from the room beside. We would simply smile, do our best to ignore it, and try not to ruin our own moods. Even thinking about her now is intoxicating; there was nothing about her that wasn’t divinely perfect. This next statement is probably too much information, even for my personal memoirs, but if ever there was a woman to be craved, to be wanted and desired more than breath itself, it was Mihan. I’m aching now just dwelling on other memories we shared later in our teenaged lives.

I pulled her close, devouring her lips in mine, breathing in her essence deeply, losing each other in our passion. That night could’ve been the night we finally went all the way.

Then there was laughter, followed by a girl’s yelling, then more laughing, crying, the sound of bare feet running, and a door slamming. Mihan and I both looked at each other stupidly, neither of us having any idea what was going on.

Suddenly the door to our room burst open, and there stood Tiny in all his naked glory, an ear to ear smirk on his face, laughing, tears streaming down his face.

“Roc! Man! You’re never going to believe this!” he said, storming into the room, completely oblivious to the moment he was ruining.

“Hi Mihan.” he said as an afterthought, plopping himself down on the bed between us.

“So there we are, getting it on, and I knew I was gonna get some, right?” he started, ignoring my imploring look for him to get the hell out so I could get some myself.

“Nice tits and such, so things were getting hot and heavy.” He still had that stupid smile plastered to his face. Mihan rolled her eyes, making it apparent our moment for hot and heavy had passed by. Dammit Tiny.

“Anyway, I take my pants off and ask her to give me a blow job. She gets all nervous and shit, so I encourage her with my hand on the back of her head. I mean, that’s cool, right?”

Why he was telling me any of this, I really did not know. I had less than zero interest in visually picturing the story he was describing, especially because the graphical reference was dangling less than a foot away from me, hanging off the bed.

“She kept backing off, so I asked her ‘You do know how to give a blow job, right?’ and she said ‘Of course I do’. So then she grabs it in her hands, puts her lips around the end of it, and starts making a ‘huff huff’ sound. She was actually blowing it!!!”

With that, he fell over backwards onto the bed into hysterics.

There are moments when we all make horrible, unthinking choices. The next few moments slowed down painfully, forever etched into my memory.

I started laughing. I couldn’t help it. It was a hilarious story. Blow jobs, I thought to myself. During my growing fit of laughter, my eyes slowly fell across Mihan, but not fully understanding the disgusted, horrified look she was giving back to me. Dumbfoundedly, I watched, the smile falling off my face far too slowly, as she stood from the bed and raced out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Moments later I could hear her muffled voice next door, and renewed crying from the other female at the realization that Tiny was spreading the details of her naivety. I could hear Mihan comforting her, and knew I was now an accomplice.

Even though I hadn’t been drinking, I had never been more sober than at the moment.

I punched Tiny in the gut. “You’re an asshole, you know that?” I said.

“Wha?” Tiny said, looking up at me stupidly from the bed.