Flabby elbows are never sexy. Ever.

When you run out of patience, make sure you haven’t … know what? Screw it.

Only play fair when you’re the one making the rules.

Enjoy (M)onday and (T)uesday. After that it’s always WTF until the weekend.

No matter how tough you think you are, yanking a nostril hair out unsuccessfully still brings a tear to the eye.

Gay marriage is important to me. It’s right up there with gay parking and gay lunch.

Bullets make the baby.

Never take them home. Then they know where you live.

Jealous implies you can’t have what you want.

Brutor checklist: crack knuckles once; crack heads twice.