At some point in each of our lives, we will fill the metaphoric meaning behind this recipe, whether we admit it or not. But what is “Humble Pie”?

Quite simply, the origin of “eating humble pie” came from ancient times, when the deer entrails of the daily hunt were thrown to the peasants, who then made them into a pie while the aristocrats ate the better meat. Quite simply, eating humble pie is to face the lowest forms of humiliation.

I remember a time I faced the Military Tribunal, something about shooting on our own forces…

Humble Pie

INGREDIENTS:

• Entrails of a deer – stomach, washed intestine, liver, etc.
• Beef suet to the same weight as the deer entrails
• 10 cloves
• 1 tsp mace
• 1 tsp nutmeg
• 1 tsp cinammon
• 1 pinch salt
• 4 pounds of currants
• 1/2 pound of candied orange, lemon and citron peel
• 1/2 pound of dates
• pie shells

METHOD:

1. Parboil the Humbles of a deer
2. Take all the fat off of them
3. Add the Beef suet and mince it finely
4. Season it with cloves, mace, nutmeg, and a little cinammon and salt
5. Put some currants, candied peels and dates, stoned and sliced
6. Fill your pie and lid it
7. When baked, put in a sack and serve it

I already know what you’re thinking, and I bet you’re dying to hear the story of how my crew and I first came upon this recipe… wait, bad choice of words!

Well, no story for you, dear reader, as I am afraid it would disappoint. Let’s just say it involved some Amarr slavers(who lived the remainder of their lives as Eunuchs), some hungry Matari serving well-earned payback, and I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

Smoked Beef Sausage

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 pounds smoked sausage (12 inch preferred, but as I said, they were Amarr. Work with what you have)
• BBQ glaze of your choice
• 1 cup fresh apricot and/or fresh pineapple
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice

METHOD:

1. Chop apricot or pineapple (or both!)
2. Heat apricot/pineapple in small sauce pan.
3. Strain when tender.
4. Combine with lemon juice.
5. Grill whole sausage, on uncovered grill, over charcoal briquettes for 5 minutes (nothing beats the taste of charcoal BBQed meat)
6. Brush with glaze.
7. Grill 5 minutes longer, turning and brushing with glaze occasionally.
8. Granish with fruit pieces.

For added fun amongst your crew (male or female), garnish with mayonnaise and deep throat your smoked beef sausage. The winner is the one that doesn’t gag! (Wash it down thoroughly with a can of Quafe soda)

Ah, the good times we have in our adventures.

My entire childhood was not lost to me, though most was erased from Vitoc use, Amarr brainwashing and age.

The Scope News was reporting on a recent outbreak of flu amidst the general population of Pator. It was borderline pandemic, a strain never before seen in the history of our people.

Most disease had been eradicated in New Eden, yet somehow the flu remained ever elusive to all forms of treatment, mutating, adapting, surviving despite all efforts.

The Capsuleer process left pod pilots immune to disease, but being insanely cost prohibitive left 99% of New Eden’s people susceptible to infection.

There were always cutting edge miracle cures which the pharmas profited from; some things never changed.

Some of my crew had contracted the flu recently, taking sick leave. A childhood memory flooded my mind. It was of my Mammar, and I was weak with illness. She cared for me, making sure the duvet on my bed was nice and snug, and she fed me the most amazing chicken soup ever created.

It could be my boyhood perception that made the soup stick out in my mind; as I was cured the next day. Maybe it was psychological, and the love my Mammar gave to me was the real cure; I honestly don’t know.

I froze the moment in my mind, analyzing the memory fragment from all angles, focusing on the ingredients, the portions contained within the magic elixir.

After several attempts, I managed to re-create it, and shipped containers of it to my sick crew. Maybe it would work for them also. Besides, I needed them healthy to do their jobs.

Mammar’s Chicken Soup

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 ( 2 – 3 pound) whole chicken
• 3 stalks celery with leaves, chopped
• 1 pound baby carrots
• 2 onions, chopped
• 2 cubes beef bouillon, crumbled
• 1 packet chicken noodle soup mix
• 2 (14.5 ounce) cans low-sodium chicken broth
• 1 pinch dried thyme
• 1 pinch poultry seasoning
• 1 pinch dried basil
• 5 black peppercorns
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 pinch dried parsley
• 1 (8 ounce) package farfalle (bow tie) pasta

METHOD:

1. Place chicken in a large pot and cover with water. Place celery leaves in pot and bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer until chicken is cooked through, 30 to 40 minutes.
2. Remove chicken from pot and place in a bowl until cool enough to handle.
3. Meanwhile, strain the cooking liquid, discard the celery tops and place the cooking liquid in a large pot.
4. Place celery, carrots, onion, bouillon, soup mix and chicken broth in the pot and let simmer.
5. Season with thyme, poultry seasoning, basil, peppercorns, bay leaves and parsley.
6. Bone chicken and cut up meat into bite-size pieces.
7. Return meat to pot.
8. Cook until vegetables are tender and flavours are well blended, up to 90 minutes.
9. Stir pasta into pot and cook 10 to 15 minutes more, until noodles are al dente.
10. Serve hot.

For what ails you, my friends. Be well.

Some of you would like to think I’m kidding with these recipes. I’m not. I try out every recipe possible before posting, to ensure it’s something I myself would eat. Take today’s recipe, for example.

While stranded on the waterworld of Rybar Tekh VII, I found myself in the position of having to make do with what was available once again. Fishing was difficult at best in the rough and savage ocean, but I soon discovered from the local indigenous population that is was Octopus birthing season; that meants literally thousands of baby octopi were available for those who would snatch them. (Hmmm, octopie, that would make an interesting recipe also)

Turns out baby octopus are cheap, healthy, and good eating when done up right.

Baby Octopus Salad

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 oz baby octopus
• 8 oz mixed greens
• 4 oz broccoli florets
• 4 oz carrots
• 4 oz red onion
• 2 tbsp chili garlic sauce
• 2 tbsp minced garlic
• 2 tbsp black pepper
• 1 tbsp lime juice

METHOD:

1. Cook baby octopus in a steamer for 60 minutes.
2. Chop up all your vegetables into bite sized pieces. With a food processor, this takes about 5 minutes.
3. In a small bowl, mix chili garlic sauce, minced garlic, lime juice and black pepper until blended evenly.
4. At 30 minutes, add vegetables to steamer.
5. Place mixed greens into a large tupperware bowl.
6. When steamer finished, add octopus, vegetables, and sauce from the small bowl to the tupperware.
7. Shake until mixed well.

The nice thing about this recipe is nearly everything in it can be swapped out to taste. Don’t like mixed greens? Try spinach, or romaine, or any other type of leafy food you like. Don’t like broccoli, carrots and red onion? Swap it out for any three vegetables of choice. I find eggplant, fennel and yellow peppers go nicely together. Don’t like what’s in the sauce? Make your own. Dijon Mustard sauce mixed with artichoke hearts, fat free ranch dressing with Mrs. Dash, they’re all good.

In fact, I enjoy this particular recipe so much, I had it for lunch yesterday, and am having it again today.

Baby Octopus is cheap and available at almost any grocery store.

As some of you may know, I’ve been spending many of my free moments researching the rich history of my people, the Minmatar. Some of our ancestral tribal traditions seem almost alien to me, but throughout our entire timeline it seems we are a very community oriented people. We never think of individual self; we are a family.

Some of the ancient Matari tribes were nomadic, others lived in both polar and equatorial deserts. Today’s recipe comes from a discovery I made from the latter tribe.

Whole Stuffed Camel

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 whole camel, medium size
• 1 whole lamb, large size
• 20 whole chickens, medium size
• 60 eggs
• 12 kilos rice
• 2 kilos pine nuts
• 2 kilos almonds
• 1 kilo pistachio nuts
• 110 gallons water
• 5 pounds black pepper
• Salt to taste

METHOD:

1. Skin, trim and clean camel (once you get over the hump), lamb and chicken.
2. Boil until tender.
3. Cook rice until fluffy.
4. Fry nuts until brown and mix with rice.
5. Hard boil eggs and peel.
6. Stuff cooked chickens with hard boiled eggs and rice.
7. Stuff the cooked lamb with stuffed chickens. Add more rice.
8. Stuff the camel with the stuffed lamb and add rest of rice.
9. Broil over large charcoal pit until brown.
10. Spread any remaining rice on large tray and place camel on top of rice.
11. Decorate with boiled eggs and nuts.

Serves friendly crowd of 80-100. Camel toe anyone?