For those of you completely out of the loop on current events:

1. An internal document at CCP entitled “Greed is Good” was leaked publicly, revealing CCP’s internal discussions on implementing microtransactions for more than just vanity items, a direct contradiction to their publicly stated promises to players that any real money items would not give one player an advantage over another.
2. The initial Incarna release is optional, meaning, if you uncheck the load station environment button, you get a shiny picture of a door. Incarna is also quite light on content with the initial release, and even still, those four walls and one avatar are causing massive hardware overheating and GPU consumption issues for many players.
3. NEX – the elite luxury goods store that is part of Incarna, with the ability for players to buy clothing items ranging in price from $16 US – $60 US. As Wensley, a veteran EVE player and blogger put it, “We don’t have to worry about microtransactions at least. CCP implemented macrotransactions.”
4. Continued lack of meaningful communication from CCP. There has been the pat corporate non-speak wherein a company says a whole lot of nothing, but at least it looks like they’re saying something.

My feelings are mixed on all of the issues going on currently, and I’m not really going to go into that, as there is enough drama already. And yet I do have many personal friends at CCP I’ve made over the years; really nice people that I respect and enjoy.

Since the sh*tballs are flying, this recipe is dedicated to them, may all their sh*tballs be as tasty as these.

PS. I can say shit, I’m just using the asterisk for comedic effect.

SH*TBALLS

INGREDIENTS

Syrup

• 3 tbsp water
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1 tbsp liqueur

Truffle candy

• 200 gram chocolate
• 90 ml cream
• 1 tsp liqueur or essence
• 200 gram chocolate for glazing truffles and making chocolate chips

METHOD

1. Melt chocolate, pour in hot cream, add liqueur or essence (almond kind, for instance) and mix until homogenous. Put into a bowl set aside to thicken. It’s even better if you leave the mass to thicken for a night. Scoop chocolate and shape into balls. You can place a nut or raisin in the center.
2. (optional to make even tastier) Melt chocolate on water bath, dip chocolate balls into melted chocolate and put on a plate to harden.

Probably one of the least healthy recipes I know, but sometimes you just need to indulge yourself, and hopefully this will help.

EDITOR’S NOTE:

This recipe is not part of Roc’s healthy lifestyle, nor do I endorse it to be part of yours. This recipe was posted in good humour to help alleviate at least a little of the tension between players and CCP. Have yourself a sh*tball of a good day.

Sometimes the name for a recipe just writes itself. Do I really need to say anything more?

Face full of protein, shake

INGREDIENTS:

• two scoops Optimum Nutrition 100% Casein Gold Standard slow release protein (vanilla)
• 16 oz water (or no fat milk if you need the extra calories or calcium)
• 1 avocado (pitted)
• 1 tbsp flaxseed oil

METHOD:

1. place all ingredients in a drink mixer or blender
2. mix for one minute
3. pour into glasses

Casein proteins are my new favourite thing. They are a slow-release protein, meaning your body stays anabolic for 24 hours, which is awesome. I chose avocado because it’s an excellent MUFA source (MonoUnsaturated Fatty Acid), which aids specifically in targetting belly fat. The flaxseed oil is also another great MUFA source, as well as omegas 3-6-9.

The vanilla protein is incredibly thick. When mixed with milk alone this is almost like trying to drink pudding. Combined with the surprisingly enjoyable taste of avocado, this is a fantastic, refreshing, and healthy summer drink.

Enjoy your face full of protein!

Today’s recipe comes to us from Venus Alterra …

Dear Roc,

I’ve been lurking in your blog for a long time now, and have always enjoyed your writing. I have never commented, as I never thought I had anything to add.

That changed last night. A girlfriend and I went out to Second Cup for some chatty funtime, and we ordered white hot chocolate. My friend then pulled out some white chocolate liquer and added it. It was amazing!

You were the first person I thought of to share it with 🙂 I hope you enjoy it!

PS. I miss your stories about Mynxee. You two are a hot couple! Write more stories about that romance please!

Sensual Hot Chocolate

INGREDIENTS

• 2 scoops deluxe white chocolate mix (I use Second Cup brand)
• 2 – 4 oz white chocolate liquer (Godet Belgium White Chocolate Liquer is the best!)
• whipped cream (optional)
• chocolate sprinkles (optional)

METHOD

1. boil milk on low/medium heat. Anything higher will burn the milk.
2. Pour the milk into a mug and mix with white hot chocolate powder.
3. Add liquer and mix again.
4. Top with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles as desired.
5. Enjoy!

So, while not the healthiest recipe we’ve had here on Roc’s Ramblings, nor the strangest, I’m always thankful for the fans I have, and honestly, it’s a delicious luxury to enjoy on a cold winter’s eve.

Thanks Venus!

PS. The story of Mynxee and I is no where near being finished. Of course, after getting your attached picture, that could change. RAWR!

“We’re delighted you accepted our invitation, Colonel Wieler.” the Maître De said. He gestured for me to follow him to the pre-arranged table I would be seated at. It was a corner table, near an exit, nestled between two solid walls. The single chair at the table was backed into the corner, allowing visibility of the entire restaurant; just as I had requested.

When I initially received the invitation, I laughed it off. Apparently word of my healthy recipes had spread, and a consumer at this restaurant had asked one random evening if the meal had been approved by “The Colonel”. Maybe I should’ve opened a chicken restaurant or something, with a secret blend of herbs and spices.

I was a military man, plain and simple. There was nothing complex about my existence; it was kill or be killed on a sometimes more than daily basis. To be lauded for music, or workout tips, or even healthy eating choices was a bit comical to me. That has never been what I am, or was, about.

Still, it was a free meal, and a little good publicity never hurt. Granted, you don’t often hear media coverage of high ranking ex-military officials sitting down for a meal at a local restaurant; the place was sold out for the evening within minutes of the announcement, and we all know how I feel about crowds.

I didn’t bother to look at the menu. I ordered a glass of water, and whatever their best hamburger was. You could always tell how good the cooks/chef were by how they prepared their hamburgers, in my opinion.

Green Chili Cheeseburger

THE TOPPINGS

GREEN CHILI RELISH

INGREDIENTS

• 1 medium poblano chile, roasted, peeled, seeded, and thinly sliced
• 2 Hatch chilies, roasted, peeled, seeded, and thinly sliced
• 1 serrano chile, roasted, peeled, seeded, and thinly sliced
• 1 tbsp honey
• 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

METHOD

1. Combine the chilies, vinegar, honey, olive oil, and cilantro in a bowl, and season with salt and pepper.
2. Let sit at room temperature for at least 30 minutes before serving.

The relish can be made one day in advance, but bring to room temperature before using.

PICKLED RED ONIONS

INGREDIENTS

• 1 1/2 cups red wine vinegar
• 1/4 cup water
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1 tbsp kosher salt
• 1 small red onion, peeled, halved, and thinly sliced

METHOD

1. Bring vinegar, water, sugar, and salt to a boil in a small sauce pan.
2. Remove from heat and let cool for 10 minutes.
3. Put the onions in a medium bowl, pour the vinegar over, cover, and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, up to 48 hours before serving.

THE BURGER

INGREDIENTS

• 1 tbsp canola oil
• 1 1/2 lbs 90/10 ground beef
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
• 4 paper-thin slices white cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese
• 4 whole wheat hamburger buns, split and lightly toasted
• 8 baked blue or yellow tortilla chips, coarsely crushed

METHOD

1. Heat a griddle or large saute pan over high heat.
2. Add the oil and let heat until it begins to shimmer.
3. Shape the ground beef with your hands into 4 round patties about 1 1/2 inches thick and season each burger on both sides with the salt and pepper.
4. Cook the burgers until golden brown on both sides and cooked to medium, about 8 minutes.
5. During the last 20 seconds of cooking, top each burger with a slice of cheese and let melt.
6. Place the burgers on the buns and top each with a few tablespoons of the green chile relish, pickled onions, and tortilla chip

NUTRITIONAL BREAKDOWN

Per serving
Calories: 534
Protein: 38 g
Carbs: 30 g
Fat: 27 g
Fibre: 1 g

Mmmmhmmmmm. Not bad. Not bad at all.

There are so many slogans for Quafe soda that I often wondered how I had avoided it for so long. It was inevitable that I would eventually cave and try it, I just never figured it would be as pudding…

Zymurgist’s Quafe Pudding

INGREDIENTS:

• 8oz of Cream Cheese
• 8oz of plain Yogurt
• 2 parts lime juice (splashed in)
• 1 part lemon juice
• Enough sugar to kill a diabetic (Just poured straight out of the bag, maybe 2/3 a cup?)
• Half a Tablespoon of Cream of Tartar (Optional)

METHOD:

1. Put all in large bowl and mix until creamy.
2. Keep refrigerated and stir before serving.
3. Makes about 8 servings.

I recommend not serving this if you plan on spending any substantial time with your guests after dessert. People tend to get really … rowdy.

It had been a good month for us in the Rapier class recon ship. There had been many pirate kills as we ventured deeper and deeper into Sansha Nation space, but there had also been tragedies.

My Chief Medical Officer was unable to revert a single human from the atrocities done to their bodies physically and mentally at the hands of the pirates. They were dependent on the mechanical symbiosis they had been butchered into. They were monsters that could not be saved.

Not a one.

Additionally, during one of our skirmishes, our ship was hit pretty hard, damaged badly, and our galley had been exposed to open space. We lost several crew members as well as our remaining food supplies.

The breach had been repaired as quickly as possible, but we were starving.

And as if things couldn’t get worse, the refrigeration system for my corpse locker had failed nine days ago. I had refused to give up my trophies, the corpses of my enemies, but my personal meat locker was starting to stink beyond any of our abilities to tolerate … that is when I had the idea.

We all swore never to speak of it.

I think it’s important the story be told.

MAGGOT STEW

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 tbsp coconut oil
• 1/4 cup flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder
• 1 lb stew beef cut into 1 inch chunks
• 2 cans (14 oz) plain stewed tomatoes
• 1 can (10 oz) beef broth
• 1 tsp thyme
• 1 bay leaf
• 4 carrots
• 1 can fresh or frozen green beans
• 1/4 orzo pasta

METHOD:

1. Place oil in stew pot and heat on medium low.
2. Measure flour, salt, pepper and garlic powder into ziploc bag.
3. Drop in stew beef, seal bag and shake until well coated.
4. Pour contents of bag into stew pot. Turn up the heat to medium.
5. Peel carrots and cut into small coins.
6. When stew has simmered for an hour, add the carrots and green beans to the pot.
7. Cover pot. Simmer for 45 minutes.
8. Cook orzo pasta in a pan according to package directions.
9. Drain when tender. These are your maggots.
10. Add them to the stew pot, turn off heat, carefully blend.

Bon appetit!

“And would you like super salad this evening, sir?” our server asked politely.

“Hell yes!” I replied, not feeling at all uncouth in the fine dining establish my date and I were at.  It had been too long since I had enjoyed any meaningful female companionship; I just couldn’t seem to put my past relationship out of my head.

I suppose ‘out of my head’ isn’t accurate. Logic is easy to understand. The deeper truth is ‘out of heart’. The heart wants what it wants, and it’s next to impossible to tell it otherwise. No matter how far fetched or improbable, the heart always believes.

My date giggled at my reply, while our server looked at me quizzically. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with these two women, but fortunately my date was gentle, soothing my growing irritation.

“It’s not a yes/no question, Roc. Do you want soup or salad with your dinner?” she said sweetly.

My mouth hung open slightly as understanding dawned upon me. Why the hell would they word it like that? Why not just ask if I want salad or soup? Super salad. Man, that sounded so good.

“I’ll have a steak please.” I replied. The server looked confused.

“Yes, as my appetizer. Thank you. That is all.” I said dismissively, trying to assert my male status, turning my attention back to my date for the evening.

SUPER SALAD

INGREDIENTS:

SALAD

• 12 ounces boneless salmon fillet
• 2 cups broccoli florets
• 1 15.5 ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 cup grape tomatoes, halved
• 4 cups torn assorted salad greens (trimmed, washed and dried)
• 1 bunch fresh basil
• 2 carrots, peeled and shaved into long strips
• Mrs. Dash and Black Pepper

DRESSING

• 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup bottled fat free vinaigrette
• Juice of 1 large lemon
• 1 teaspoon dijon mustard

METHOD:

1. Whisk together olive oil, vinaigrette, lemon juice and mustard. Set aside.
2. Preheat oven to 400 F. Place salmon in small roasting pan.
3. Cook for 10 – 20 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish (plan on 10 minutes per inch, just like sex), or until an instant read thermometer registers 140 F.
4. Remove salmon from oven and set aside. Once it’s cool, flake into bite sized pieces with a fork.
5. Meanwhile, bring a 1 quart saucepan filled with water to a boil.
6. Add broccoli and boil for 1 minute or until florets turn bright green.
7. Drain and rinse under cold water.
8. Shake (no more than three times, ha!) to remove as much water as possible and place in a large bowl.
9. Toss broccoli with dressing. Set aside.
10. In another bowl, combine salmon, black beans and tomatoes.
11. Season with Mrs. Dash and pepper.
12. Divide salad greens and basil among 4 plates.
13. Top with broccoli and salmon mixture and garnish with shaved carrots.

As always, eat well, pilots.

“Well sir, we’ve got peanut butter, honey, and crispy treats; unless you want to eat protein powder that is…”

I smiled.

5 minute PB Protein Bars

INGREDIENTS:

• 3/4 cup of natural honey
• 1 1/2 cup of natural peanut butter
• box of crispy treats
• 364 grams whey protein (12 scoops roughly)

METHOD:

• combine honey, peanut butter and protein in a bowl.
• fold in crispy treats.
• roll into individual bars and freeze overnight.

NUTRITIONAL VALUE:

Each bar contains roughly 200 – 300 calories and 40 – 60 grams of protein.

ALTERNATIVES:

• cocoa, honey and coconut

I’ve received a few fan mails lately, mostly from women, thanking me for the recipe tips & ideas, as well as motivation to work out and improve their health.

I even received a short and to the point “fan” mail from a Brutor brother:

Roc,

You’re an egomaniac that eats like a girl. Seriously, that’s not food; it’s what food eats. Give us a real recipe because men need to eat too.

Yours truly,
12 Inch Sausage

So, today’s recipe is dedicated to all those men who like to think they’re all that, when really I am all that.

Look at your man, now look back at me and see what your man could be.

I’m in a pod.

Pepper Jack Steak Sandwich

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 lb steak, 1 inch thick
• 1/4 cup red wine
• 2 tbsp worcestershire
• 2 cloves garlic, sliced
• 1 tsp seasoning salt
• 1/4 tsp celery salt
• 1 tbsp butter
• 1 tsp olive oil
• 4 hoagie rolls
• 8 slices deli pepper jack cheese
• 4 lettuce leaves
• jalapeno mayonnaise (see recipe below)

METHOD:

1. Place steak in a resealable plastic bag.
2. Whisk red wine, worcestershire, garlic, seasoning salt and celery salt together in a bowl.
3. Pour over steak.
4. Seal bag and marinate in the refrigerator for two hours.
5. After steak has marinated, heat butter and olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat.
6. Once butter melts, add steak.
7. Cook 5 – 6 minutes on each side for medium rare.
8. Transfer cooked steak to the cutting board and allow to rest for 10 minutes.
9. Once rested, thinly slice against the grain.
10. Preheat over broiler.
11. Cut hoagie rolls in half.
12. For each sandwich, place 4 – 5 slices of steak on the bottom half of the roll. Place 2 slices of cheese on top of the steak.
13. Place under the broiler until the cheese melts, about 1 minute.
14. At the same time, toast top half of roll.
15. After cheese has melted, remove sandwich from oven, place lettuce on top.
16. Spread jalapeno mayonnaise on top half of roll.

Jalapeno mayonnaise

INGREDIENTS:

• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1/2 tsp lemon juice
• 2 jalapenos (seeds removed from 1 jalapeno), minced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• sea salt

METHOD:

1. Combine ingredients together in a bowl. Season to taste with salt.
2. Cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes.