Every ship is good until it meets a better fit ship.
Minority = Man
It was a late evening. I had just showered off after finishing a sixteen hour patrol in the Renegade; nothing noteworthy.
I casually walked towards the floor to ceiling window of my spacious accommodation, which overlooked the central axis of “insert station here” while the day’s newscast provided white noise in the background.
The heart of the station offered an artificial ecosystem, and most of the higher level businesses could be found in this central promenade. Living in this class of community would cost a small fortune planet side; it was ten times that on the station.
My head turned as the newscast caught my attention. As I toweled off my head I told the wall monitor to increase volume.
And in other news, support continues to grow for the ‘Minority Man’ movement, as hundreds now gather in protest if archaic reverse discrimination practices. What surely started as an isolated college prank has now gained legitimate traction, and as this issue continues to garner more public attention, it will undoubtedly need to be commented on by city council.
Interesting.
“Relevance.” I spoke aloud, and the monitor muted, a picture in picture panel appearing, listing all the related news media surrounding this story.
Water dripped to the floor as I stood transfixed, scanning the various articles.
It appeared a young man had applied to work at a lingerie store, and was immediately rejected without so much as an interview. “Most of our clientele is female, and it would be uncomfortable to have a man working here, given the discreet nature of our product.” the female store manager had been quoted as saying later in the day.
“And who do you think those women are trying to impress?” the young man counter-quoted. “Husbands, boyfriends, lovers. Having a man on staff provides instant feedback for these customers. It adds value.”
This same young had also applied to a “Women’s Only” fitness facility, and was again rejected without so much as an interview. “Our gym is not a pickup joint, a place for men on the prowl to hookup; go to an Achura club for that.” the facility owner, also a woman, was quoted as saying.
“If I were a lesbian,” the young man countered to a news reporter, “Would I have summarily rejected? Probably not, and I could’ve ‘prowled’ to my heart’s content. But because I’ve got the plumbing, I was immediately discriminated against. It’s an injustice that shouldn’t be tolerated in today’s open society.”
He had growing support from the Gallente Federation, by far the most liberal Empire in New Eden.
The Brutor Tribe of course was very rigid and traditional. “Men were men, and the sheep were scared” was an old saying amongst our people.
Still, I had to applaud this young man’s efforts and ingenuity.
I wondered about the opinions of others as I finished drying off, sliding naked onto the sheer silken sheets of my bed.
Hail Caesar! With good health!
You may not know this about me, but I am always on the hunt for good recipes, good nutritional tips, etc, etc. I’ve tried everything from 3 day cleanses to Cho Yung green tea to fasting to juicing to you name it. I’ve joined various websites like http://www.jillianmichaels.com (which actually is pretty kick ass) trying to find easy ways to know what to buy for the meals I like to prepare, as well as workout techniques, etc, etc. I may have to write an iPhone app that does everything I want in this regard (by me I mean PyjamaSam of course).
Anyway, I stumbled upon a fantastic site today: World’s Healthiest Foods
Not only is this site packed full of really good and FREE information about health and wellness, but they have one of the most efficient recipe search engines I’ve seen.
From column one, you select your main ingredient. Column two you select what you want to avoid (allergies and such). Column three you specify your focus (like extra protein).
The results are a list of WHFoods recipes that meet your criteria. TRY IT OUT! (Middle of page)
Today’s recipe is from such a result.
Healthy Caesar Salad
INGREDIENTS:
- 4 cups chopped mixed greens (spinach, romaine, arugula)
- 2 oz chicken or turkey slices
- 1 medium tomato, chopped or sliced
- 1/4 cup cucumbers, sliced
- 1/4 cup crimini mushrooms, sliced
- 1 cup kidney beans
- 1 tbsp dried sunflower seeds
Dressing:
- 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
- 1/2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
- 1 clove garlic, pressed or chopped
- 1 tbsp parmesan cheese
METHOD:
- Combine all ingredients and top with dressing (lol)
NUTRITONAL INFO: (% daily value)
- Vitamin K (301 %)
- Vitamin A (288 %)
- Vitamin C (151 %)
- Dietary Fibre (110 %)
- Trytophan (93 %)
- Folate (87 %)
- Protein (83 %)
- Phosphorus (65 %)
- Vitamin B3 Niacin (63 %)
- Selenium (47 %)
- Vitamin B1 Thiamin (42 %)
- Magnesium (40 %)
- Vitamin B6 Pyridoxine (38 %)
- Vitamin B2 Riboflavin (38 %)
- Iron (36 %)
- Manganese (35 %)
- Molybdenum (32 %)
- Zinc (31 %)
- Calcium (30 %)
- Copper (28 %)
- Calories = 473
Wow! That’s one helluva salad!
One Night of Roc – Detailed Review
Gigaear, over at Prano’s Journey, has finally picked up One Night of Roc and given the most detailed, and brutal, review to date of my efforts.
As I mentioned in my comments on his blog, I always appreciate critical honesty, and he had loads to give.
Lesson Learned
UNKNOWN SYSTEM
The engines of my Firetail, the Renegade, screamed blue fire at me for pushing them so far beyond their safety specifications. I had already melted my autocannons, ignoring Aura’s continual alarms as their temperature rose well beyond their threshold.
More armour plates were sheared off as my pursuers continued the hunt, scoring several hits against me.
I skimmed closer towards the planet’s thick atmosphere, hoping my frigate would be able to hold together better than the enemy interceptors gaining on me; the Sansha Nation was pissed, and that made me happy.
Aura blared at me that my angle of descent was too steep for the structural integrity of the ship, but that was the idea. Within seconds, the nose of my ship glowed white, and I watched as even my pod’s internal temperature rose to a frightening 58 C. Thankfully, there was no need for a crew in this size of ship. My jaw rattled against itself no matter how hard I clenched my teeth; I could barely hear Aura’s warnings in my head over the deafening sounds and tumultuous vibrations of my ship bending, buckling, starting to break apart.
The Renegade had begun its death throes.
With a determined act of focus, I willed the ship to align to the proper trajectory, hoping I wasn’t too late to save myself. The surface of the planet was rising far too quickly towards me, lovingly welcoming me to its solid embrace. This was gonna hurt like hell …
*** SEVERAL MINUTES LATER ***
The piercing sunlight awoke me. Instinctively as I raised my hand to cover my eyes, it didn’t even cross my mind how odd it was for the sun to be shining directly down on me. A moment later, I realized I was still in my pod, a gaping wound opened down its side, its precious fluid contents spilled all over the surrounding terrain.
My ship had disintegrated around me, pieces probably scattered for miles amongst one of the most unforgiving landscapes I had ever seen.
Miraculously, I was alive, and relatively undamaged. A quick assessment revealed bumps and bruises, nothing more.
Aura was inoperable. With effort, I extricated myself from my pod, still uncertain as to the fate of the Sansha pirates. Surely they would be scanning for me amidst the wreckage shortly, if they hadn’t already during my blackout.
My Neocom buzzed. I had an incoming text.
“Need u 2 cover my shift this Sat, 4 – 10 PM, k?”
I had no idea who it was. I had been receiving these random texts for days from this person. It was incredibly annoying, and at that moment, I just snapped a little.
This was to be the first and last time I would text them back.
“kk” was all I typed.
I squinted against the blinding sunlight, my ears hearing a faint buzzing. Once my eyes partially adjusted to the blistering brightness of the overhead sky, I could see the two interceptors as dots in the distance. I didn’t have much time.
I needed to make my next actions count.
*** A FEW DAYS LATER ***
I sat in V2 Freedom Forge, enjoying a beer and cigar during some downtime, awaiting my next mission.
My Neocom buzzed. I had an incoming text.
“Ty, asshole! U never showed up 4 my shift. Tazr fired me. What the hell’s ur problem?”
I chuckled to myself, wondering if they would ever realize the intended party never received their messages.
Roc’s Rule #287
Do or do not … if a little green puppet with a hand up his ass gets it …
Pirate Music – decrypted
By Alan Richard
Modified for EVE Online by Roc Wieler
Ah crap, I’m in trouble this time.
Jowal whined something well above my hearing range.
“I’m kinda busy right now,” I said.
Jowal dialed her frequency back to something a little less likely to crack glass and tried again. “They’re shooting at us.”
“Not a lot I can do about that now,” I yelled, flailing towards the console. I lunged at the knob that diverts all energy to the rear deflector shields.
The escape pod launched.
“Dammit.”
“They’ve just vaporized the escape pod.”
“I can see that, Jowal. Where the hell is Enop?”
“She’s down in the galley.”
Something hit us — hard.
“Don’t tell me she’s been listening?” I said.
Jowal nodded.
“That’s just great,” I shouted, slamming my fist into the console, “we’re giving this up now before they blow us out of the sky.”
Jowal squealed something. I backed off the thrusters and sagged into my seat. I’m not a pilot, never have been. The cold grey of the patrol cruiser filled the monitor.
***
We stood before the Minmatar commander. My reflection danced off the oddly angled panels of his uniform. It was vaguely hypnotic.
He’d sent his grunts in first. They’d rounded us up — a bit more vigorously than was strictly necessary — but we had tried to outrun him, so I couldn’t really complain. One appeared behind him and whispered something in their primitive tongue. I didn’t catch it.
Turning to us, he switched to Trade Common.
“I hate smugglers.”
I didn’t protest this. He was right, after all.
Enop swayed beside me. Being Gallente, I was fairly sure she’d be right. She slammed to the ground, hard. Guess not. The commander rounded on me.
“Your friend seems to have a bit of a problem, I think she likes to listen to things, bad things, illegal things.”
On cue, one of his grunts produced the disk.
“What is this?” asked the captain with enough exaggerated theatre to fill the gravity well of a small planet.
“We believe it to be a terran storage device, sir,” said the grunt.
“And what — exactly — does it store?”
“By the state of her —” the guard waved dismissively at Enop’s prostrate, giggling figure, ” — I’d guess music, sir.”
“Analyze it. Now.”
As the grunt scurried away, the commander’s eyes lit on me. “I know you’ve been to Sovicou, Jayen. I know that you and these two filthy Gallente are responsible for half the pirated music that’s destroying this region of space, and when I find it, rest assured that you are going to rot.”
I’m screwed.
***
Two days later they released me. Enop’s ship was impounded and destroyed. She was sentenced to a year in the brig for possession of a small amount of audio altering substance. They didn’t find the cargo.
***
Years later, I ran into Jowal on a frontier moon. We reminisced about the old days. Apparently Enop died shortly after her release. She’d loaded enough music to lobotomize an infantry division into an escape pod, and launched herself towards a passing comet.
Roc that Caption #1 Winner
As always, thank you to everyone that took the time to participate in any contest I put on my blog; I truly appreciate it.
Some of the entries made me chuckle, some made me nod in agreement, some made me go WTF?
Overall, I chose the winner based on appropriateness to my vision of Roc, as well as what was most creative given the situation.
WINNER: Blind Philip of EVE Observations
You have won yourself a short story, written by yours truly, about your character, as well as a Caldari Navy Hookbill. Please email me the following:
- The ingame character name you want the ship contracted to
- The ingame character name and large profile picture you want the story written about
- A brief history about your character so I can have at least a touch of insight when writing
Thanks again to all. I will definitely do this again!
Roc’s Rule #286
A real friend never lets you do anything stupid … alone.
Hot Dog!
“So it’s said the Amarr have always been the most technologically advanced race.” I said as I took another swig of my beer, while my U’K alliance mates jeered and booed at my opening comment.
During the previous several weeks, I had started becoming a part of the team, a brother to be relied on, no matter what the task. It felt good to be surrounded by Matari, like-minded people dedicated to the eradication of slavery and piracy but not bogged down by the minutiae of political maneuvering.
“But it wasn’t always so.” I continued, resting my beer on the table, wiping dribble from my chin with my sleeve. There was a quiet murmuring of anticipation now, my audience waiting for the inevitable tale I would tell.
“My great ancestor, the first Matar Colonel Wieler in our proud line, archived an experience he had with perhaps the original Amarrian priests to come to our worlds.”
I deliberately paused, drawing them in further, waiting for them to hang on my every word. I enjoyed telling a good story.
“These two Amarrian priests were curious about our people; intrigued by our tribal way of life, by our strong clan ties.” This, of course, received many hoots and hollers, some Brutor even pounding on their chests in recognition that we were Matari.
“It so happens that they decided to travel among us inconspicuously, trying to blend in, if you can even imagine such a thing.” A few chuckles, a few snorts of derision.
“‘Blessed Elder Brother,'” the first priest said to the other. “‘I hunger. We should find ourselves some sustenance among these primitives.'”
Boos! Bahs! from the crowd. I smiled.
“‘There, brother! Look!'” the priest said, and I pointed to some imaginary place outside, many of my audience turning to look. I shook my head and laughed.
“They happened upon a hot dog stand.” I said, a wide smile on my face, already knowing the punch line.
“‘This is good, elder brother.'” the younger priest said. “‘They eat dog as well. Perhaps they are civilized after all.'”
I had to shush the hissing and booing from my alliance mates.
“‘Let’s hope so, lesser brother.'” the other priest replied.
They ordered themselves two hot dogs, both of them ravenous with hunger. Several minutes later, they sat down with their foil wrapped food.
The lesser priest unwrapped his hot dog, his mind consumed with the need to eat. His eyes bulged round, his mouth hanging open, and he quickly wrapped the food back up, placing his shaking hand on the elder priest’s sleeve.
The elder priest looked to his younger brother, genuine confusion and rising alarm etched on his face.
The lesser priest spoke, his voice trembling.
“‘What part of the dog did you get?'”
I have never heard a group of Matari laugh so hard to this day.

