Category Archives: Roc’s Ramblings

Random spewings from the mouth of Roc Wieler

Tornado Warning

Posted by Roc Wieler on

“I don’t fly battleships.” I repeated, wondering once again why I was at this grand unveiling.

“I know, I know, Colonel. I’m not deaf. Just thought you’d appreciate this more than most, and you’ve more than earned it.”

Pattern Clarc was a robust man, obviously ate well and enjoyed life a little too much. He was loud, obnoxious, had a strong body odour and carried himself with a unconcealed arrogance and sense of entitlement.

In other words, I liked the man, so didn’t bother to tell him again that I wasn’t a Matar Colonel anymore.

We rounded the corner of the Boundless Creations restricted hangars, and I felt myself hold my breath slightly. I had to admit, I was very impressed.

“That’s one nice looking battleship you’ve got there, Clarc.” I said. “What’s her name?”

“I call her the Tornado.” Clarc beamed with pride.

As I examined the ship closely from every angle, running my hand over her smooth lines, Clarc filled me on how the Tornado came to be whilst I inwardly struggled with myself over my decision to never fly battleships.

“I’d retired early, set myself up a small farm. That’s when I got the call from the higher ups of Republic Fleet Services. Seems the Caldari and Amarr are working on some new ship types together, and I reckon they knew I’d be the only one to pull something like this off.”

Looking at his ship, I could see their point of view.

“And well, here we are. So what do you think, Colonel?”

I smiled.

“I think I want to fly one.”

And of course, to congratulate Pattern Clarc and his team, I took everyone out for sushi …. tornado rolls. Naturally.

TORNADO ROLL


INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 cup raw ahi tuna (sushi grade)
  • 1 cup prepared sushi rice
  • 1/3 cup lump crabmeat
  • 1/2 avocado
  • 1 large sheet of special soy bean paper
  • 4 green onions
  • 1/2 cup shredded potato
  • 1/3 cup vegetable oil
  • Asian chili paste
  • Japanese mayonnaise
  • Sweet eel sauce

METHOD:

  1. Chop tuna into small cubes and place into a small mixing bowl.
  2. Finely chop green onions and combine.
  3. Add chili paste and Japanese mayonnaise to desired level of spiciness (the mayonnaise will offset the chili paste), mix well to coat each piece of tuna.
  4. Chop half an avocado into cubes, do not mash.
  5. Gather crabmeat and set aside.
  6. Lay the sheet of special soy bean paper on a flat non-stick surface or bamboo sushi mat and apply an even layer of sushi rice.
  7. Spread ahi mix on top of rice.
  8. Layer avocado evenly on top of ahi.
  9. Distribute the crabmeat evenly on top of the avocado.
  10. Assemble by rolling layers using bamboo mat or wet bare hands, tuck and squeeze.
  11. Lightly moisten outside of the wrap and roll in shredded potatoes.
  12. Fry the roll in a shallow frying pan using heated oil, one side at a time until potatoes are crisp.
  13. Cut the roll into bite-sized pieces and serve with sweet eel sauce.

[OOC] TRX Shoulder Press

Posted by Roc Wieler on

As some of you may know, I’ve been reworking my body the last few years, trying to get in better shape. To that end, I’ve worked with personal trainers, ran a half marathon, climbed the CN Tower, invested in a TRX Suspension Trainer, and pretty much been willing to try any type of exercise anyone has recommended, with mixed results.

End result?

I’ve added quite a bit of muscle mass to myself as well as shedding over 20% body fat. Now I’m focused on nutrition, but that’s another story.

Next month I begin a few certification courses: TRX Professional, Canadian Fitness Professional, etc, etc. I’ve already started approaching various gyms about teaching TRX classes, as well as proposing an interesting iPhone app idea I want to write with PyjamaSam.

So of course, in addition to the DVDs and workout books I have for the TRX, I turned to YouTube for more instruction. I’ve found many interesting progressions to try, some involving two suspension trainers, and have had mixed results in my attempts at these exercises.

TRX SHOULDER PRESS

I did succeed at this one, however, and though it looks straightforward and easy, let me tell you, it’s hard as hell. Your entire core works during this exercise, to maintain your balance as well as counteract the blowing wind. Would a weight shoulder press target the main muscle group more? Perhaps. All I know is that my entire shoulder, including my latissimus dorsi and armpits were sore for days, so to me it was worth it, and is now a regular part of my TRX Shoulder Routine.

Remember to not attempt any exercise (this one specifically), without first consulting a licensed physician.

Our core beliefs define us.

And no, I didn’t wipe out at the end.

Quality Control

Posted by Roc Wieler on

In the Tribal Liberation Force I had access to a steady stream of supplies. Understand we paid a premium for this luxury, but if you couldn’t spend your infinite wealth as a capsuleer, what was the point of having it?

Since joining Ushra’Khan and moving to nullsec, I had discovered quickly that every shot fired was a precious commodity. Combine that with all the territorial upset over the last few months, and essentially, I was on my own for keeping myself well stocked.

I had recently started discussions with Neridah Tanz, a fellow Masuat’aa Matari corp member and industrialist, about introducing her to my financial broker and perhaps split on profit sharing out of the Ortner constellation. A steady supply of ships, weapons, ammo and modules for me; a steady supply of profit for her. It was a win/win.

It might take us a month or two to get our pipeline optimized, finalize the profit share split, and get a good cash flow running. In the interim, I was always looking for whatever new technology, whatever new edge was available to give me that extra “whatever” over my opponent.

In this instance, I had been contacted by a drone researcher whom had miniaturized his latest line of cam drones. His product, the “Hawk Eye”, boasted the smallest recording device to date, as well as a “durable” outer shell, offering a lightweight, silent drone that could record up to five minutes of video at a time. Battery life? It’s nuclear core could run for 4 years straight.

4 year battery life = 5 minutes record time.

Worse still was that once I had all the interfaces hooked into my pod and gave it a test spin, it wouldn’t turn to the left. I tried manually adjusting the trim to its maximum, which only resulted in it being next to impossible to turn to the right as well.

I sighed, and the little comic dollar signs quickly disappeared from the drone engineer’s wide eyes.

“Look,” I began, “it’s not that I don’t respect what you do. It’s beyond me how drones work, and I’m sure it’s complex. But if you’re going to come in here, take up my time to show off your ‘latest & greatest’, you damn well better make sure it’s impressive.”

I held up the small drone, which fit in the palm of my hand, and snapped its fixed tail off in my fingers. “Your lightweight and durable outer shell is spray foam. C’mon, really? You didn’t think I’d notice? What you have here is a kid’s novelty toy at best, but let’s not fool ourselves into thinking this has any use for a pod pilot.”

I dropped the drone pieces into the man’s hand, turned from his fallen face, and walked away.

As a sidenote, less than four months later the “Hawk Eye” was one of the hottest children’s toy items to hit New Eden’s market.

I returned to my office and kicked my feet up on my desk. Only then did I notice my NeoCom beeping. I had a missed call.

Sliding my thumb along the screen and entering my unlock revealed an interesting comm title.

Minmatar rebel scum and the coming storm

I quickly looked at the sender: Kazryn Dahlinara. I had no idea who he/she was. Before reading on, I thumbed around for some more information, using my still valid military credentials. I had friends when needed.

Loyal servant of God, the Empire and the Empress!
“a manu Dei e tet rimon”

Written in flowing script upon the side of Kazryn’s ship is the phrase…
“ad maiorem Dei gloriam!”

There will be neither compassion nor mercy; Nor peace, nor solace
For those who bear witness to these Signs and still do not believe.
– Book of Reclaiming, 25:10

Oh goodie.

Curiosity got the better of me, as it often did, and I opened the comm as I let my breath out heavily.

Colonel Wieler,

Your reputation precedes you. I have heard of your deeds and know you are a formidable foe. You and I, under different circumstances, would be enemies. I fear a time will come all too soon in which we may have to set those differences aside. I have received word of the attack on Trytedald III. I give my prayers for those taken. Being taken as a slave by the Nation is truly a fate worse than death. As this threat is a real and present danger to all empires and their people, I ask if you would consider passing any information you have about attacks made or that might be made by Sansha’s Nation forces and I will do the same. If nothing more to combat a common foe.

We can resume hostilities after the Nation is crushed.

Sincerely,
Kazryn Dahlinara

Hmm, the picture was far too androgynous to reveal the gender of Kazryn Dahlinara, and the content of the email wasn’t revealing either. Ah well, if I called he a she that would just be all the funnier.

I re-read the email for content this time.

Geez, she talks like my ass plays harmonica.

I had to admit, though, that Sansha’s Nation was making bolder attacks each day and something had to be done. My own efforts had been consistently damaging, but evidently no where near crippling enough, as demonstrated by the major Nation assaults across the Empires lately.

I could always discuss the comparison between Sansha slavery being a fate worse than death but using Vitoc to control slaves being ok at another time. Hopefully this time, no self-righteous Caldari pilot would interrupt with the woes of self-inflicted slavery to the megacorps, and how that is even comparable to the plight of the Minmatar. Still, that was a fun night at the bar.

Back to the more pressing concern; how could I in good conscious work with the Amarr in any capacity?

I formed my response carefully:

I debated even replying to you, trying to understand what angle you are trying to play. Yet here I am, taking a calculated risk, which is all I can give any Amarr, untrustworthy by nature.

My fight is against all forms of tyranny and oppression. Most of my career has been spent against your ilk, with unwavering commitment to ending the flagrant evil that is the Amarr Empire.

As you mentioned, the Sansha Nation has been more aggressive into Empire space than ever before in our histories, and I find myself overwhelmed fighting two fronts, so there is a part of me that was tempted by your offer. A very small part.

I want to say no. I want to tell you that the Amarr people deserve this fate for all they have done to my kind, for enslaving not just our bodies but our minds, forcing us to be human drones for your lethargic and self-indulgent culture.

But I have seen first hand the end result of the Sansha’s advance, and no matter how much hatred I feel for your people, I cannot condone that suffering upon any innocent, and I do believe there are many Amarr not guilty of the atrocities committed by so many of your culture.

I will keep the universe informed of anything I learn of the Sansha threat. I will not back down in my fight against them. Will I contact you personally? Doubtful, so don’t hold your hand over your ass waiting for it to happen.

This is a difficult thing you ask of me, to overcome historic prejudice, but as you have made an attempt, I am willing to at least respond, though it is more than you deserve.

Fly safe in this,
Roc

It appeared I had matured a little. But seriously, spray foam? I shook my head.

Pain = Gain

Posted by Roc Wieler on

I always laugh when I see people in a gym.

Please re-read the wording of that sentence carefully. Actually, let me be even more concise since they aren’t any visual attached to this journal entry.

I always laugh when I see people in a gym doing nothing.

What’s the point of going? Why did they spend good money on a membership? They could’ve stayed at home for free for all the benefit it’s going to have.

Anyway, I’m ranting…

Recently I had someone ask me for a sample of my typical routine. I don’t believe in working out for hours at a time. If you’re NOT punishing yourself quickly and severely, you’re being inefficient.

ROC’S RIPPER WORKOUT

CIRCUIT 1 – no rest between exercises

  • 20 pushups
  • 20 ab crunches
  • 20 pushups
  • 20 oblique crunches per side
  • 20 pushups
  • 20 reverse crunches
  • 20 or fail pushups
  • 20 toe reaches
  • 20 or fail pushups
  • 20 bicycles per side
  • 20 or fail pushups
  • 20 full body crunches

Rest 2 minutes

CIRCUIT 2

  • 12 bicep curls
  • 12 hammer curls

12 second rest

  • 12 outer bicep curls
  • 12 outer hammer curls

12 second rest

  • 12 bicep curls
  • 12 hammer curls

12 second rest

  • 12 outer bicep curls
  • 12 outer hammer curls

12 second rest

  • 12 bicep curls
  • 12 hammer curls

Rest 2 minutes

CIRCUIT 3

  • Tricep bar dips to fail

Rest 12 seconds

  • Tricep bar dips to fail

Rest 12 seconds

  • Tricep bar dips to fail

Rest 2 minutes

CIRCUIT 4 – no rest between exercises

  • 20 pushups
  • 20 hanging ab twists per side
  • 20 pushups
  • 20 hanging knees to elbows
  • 20 pushups

You’re done! Go pass out.

[OOC] Half a Good Life

Posted by Roc Wieler on

6:30 AM
MEL LASTMAN SQUARE
TORONTO, ONTARIO

It’s a nervous pee.

Months of training, days of sleepless nights spent stressing over one race. I go over it again in my mind; it will be the same as any other training run, just with thousands of people running beside me.

I wash my hands and leave the bathroom.

Five minutes later I return to the facilities again. It’s a nervous pee. Months of training, days of sleepless nights spent stressing …

6:50AM

I see other participants slowly starting to trickle in. My heart rate increases, the anticipation and excitement already having their effect on me mentally and physically.

My wife grabs my hand, with quiet reassurance. She knows me. She knows what I’ve been through to get here.

“Let’s grab some breakfast.” she says with a smile.

My best friend, my sister, my wife, and my brother in law are there with me; my personal entourage. Each of them wears a matching black shirt with a bright red and yellow Superman logo emblazoned on it. I am wearing the same: A Nike Combat Pro, short sleeve Dri-Fit with a giant S on my chest.

Call it vain. Call it whatever you like. It ended up being one of the best decisions I could’ve made for that day.

“Sounds good.” I try to say calmly, projecting a relaxed demeanour horribly.

We walk up to a Tim Horton’s. Everyone has coffee, tea, breakfast sandwiches, etc. I eat a 12 grain bagel with peanut butter, and pull my 1 L water bottle from my backpack. It’s pre-filled with Vegan’s Choice running fluid.

We all chat for a few minutes after we finish, then head back towards the race start.

7:30 AM

It’s impossible to count how many people are here. My heart is racing. I need to calm down; my muscles are starting to tighten from the stress I am giving them.

“Julie, where are you?” I say into my phone, noticing my sister has the video camera pointed at me. I look directly into it. “Julie, if you’re watching this, answer your damned phone!”

Julie has been my running partner through all of this. She knows my medical issues; she knows my running style; she knows everything a partner should know. And she isn’t here.

My phone rings a few moments later. It’s Julie! “Hey, where are you? Oh, hey Marcella. Washroom? Ok. I’ll be at the two hour pace bunny. Get Julie to meet me there. Thanks, I’m excited too. See you at the finish.”

7:50 AM

I am one in the midst of the crowd. I have issues with crowds. Why didn’t I think of that when I first started running? Still can’t find Julie. I shake the nervousness off my hands. It’s cold. Stay limber.

7:57 AM

I’m going to have to do this by myself. I’m strong. I trained well. They have medical personnel if needed. My wife is available by cell. I can do this. I’m strong. What would Roc do? Roc’s not real. Why am I thinking about this now? I have to pee.

8 AM – 0 km

Everyone is cheering. Everyone is shuffling forward. I’m sure the pack will break up. Nobody is here. It’s just you. It’s all you.

8:01 AM – 100 m

“GO SUPERMAN!!!” I hear my wife’s voice above the crowd. I love her so much. I got this.

8:27 – 5 km

Hob’s Hollow? Hog’s Hollow? I never was sure what they called it, they being every runner I know from the Running Room that has ran this marathon. They warned me during our hill training sessions “Once you get by Hob’s Hollow, it’s all downhill, but it’s a mountain to get over. Just slow down, take your time, you’ll be fine.” For the record, it’s not all down hill after.

I speed up. I had trained for a 5m30s pace. I’m running at 5m flat.

My breathing is controlled. Strong, slow. My legs aren’t even warmed up yet. I pass people by the dozen. I reach the top of the hill and smile at myself. I take a deep breath and keep going at the same pace.

9 AM – 10.5 km

There are several articles of clothing scattered on the ground: long sleeve shirts, gloves, toques … just like I was told. It’s a runner’s tradition to cast off your “throwaways”, cheap clothing you wear to stay warm until your body heats up from activity. The cast offs are then donated to local charities. It’s a nice gesture. Glad I don’t see any jock straps.

Water station up ahead on the right. I move as far as I can to the left. I’m guessing it’s another tradition to crush your Gatorade cup and smush it into the pavement, but honestly it’s repulsive. The street looks like a giant Gatorade stain, with hundreds of littered cups sprawled across the runway. I reach my hand to my water belt; I’ll hydrate when I need to, when I want to, not when I’m dictated to.

9:12 AM – 12 km

I’m starting to tire, and still have 9 kilometers to go. Shit. If Julie were here, she’d know what to say. She’d say I’m the inspiring one. I laugh. It throws off my breathing. I hope she’s having a good race. I don’t know if I can finish this on my own. I hear the voices of those I’ve trained with encouraging me onwards. I redouble my efforts and push forward. I look at my watch; I’m maintaining my race pace of 5m30s. Slower than I was for a few kilometers, but that’s ok; my goal is still just to finish, and injury free.

9:20 AM – 13.4 km

My head hangs heavy, staring at the pavement in front of me. I’m drenched in sweat, but I’m accustomed to that. The sun is bright in the sky, but it’s pleasant, not overwhelming with its heat. I drink some of my Vegan’s Choice fluid.

I’m done. I can’t go on. I just don’t have it in me. My wife will understand. She’ll still be proud of me.

I look up to see the runners ahead of me, looking for some glimpse of motivation I can use to push forward, to finish. I see a Superman shirt. I see Julie walking towards me.

It’s like my race just started. I am energized. I am strong. I can do this.

9:50 AM – 18 km

We turn northwards onto University Avenue. It’s a slight incline of maybe 5 degrees. It’s going to be like this all the way to the finish line. Five degrees may not sound like much, but after 18 kilometers it’s far worse than Hob’s/Hog’s Hollow could ever have been.

It hits us both hard, but we’re determined. We dig deeper. Julie’s breathing rapidly. I realize I am as well. My mind wants to run as fast as I possibly can, just to get this damn race over with. Julie tells me to keep pace. I listen to her.

I hear a parent telling her son, “Look! It’s Superman!” and the small child’s eyes lighting up at seeing me. It’s been happening all race long, and like every other time it’s happened, I smile, salute, and am invigorated with energy.

“We got this.” I say to Julie, and push us both a little harder.

10:02 AM – 20.9 km

I hear the announcer at the Finish Line. I see the blurred red banner in the distance. I don’t wear my glasses when I run. It’s why I chose Superman shirts. The symbol is easy to make out, making my friends and family easier to find, yet another good reason for wearing the shirt.

I hear the roar of the crowd washing over me. Adrenaline pounds through my veins, supercharging my muscles.

I sprint.

I can hear the voice of my best friend over everyone, “GO! GO! GO! PUSH! PUSH!”

I run faster and faster.

10:02:28 AM – 21.1 km

I cross the finish line at the Toronto Good Life Marathon; my first marathon. I can’t stop smiling.

Julie crosses right behind me. We hug. We nearly fall down.

I receive my first medal. I hope I will earn more from this point forward.

11:30 AM

I’ve eaten. I’ve received a massage. I’ve cooled down. I’ve found my family.

1 PM

It feels like I just ate several pounds of meat. That’s a good feeling today. Protein. Happy body.

We laugh, enjoying each other’s company. I have a good family. I enjoy their tales of the day over Korean BBQ.

I am loved. I am thankful.

I’m going to sleep so well tonight.

R&R: DAY 5

Posted by Roc Wieler on

ROC VERSION

Woke up late this morning. Felt incredibly good to sleep in for once. Once the cobwebs cleared, I felt a sudden heart pounding compulsion to check if the baby was still alive… it hadn’t many sound in almost 10 hours.

The baby was fine. She looked at me, her big brown eyes giving away to a precious smile as she sat upright on the bed, leaning against her sleeping mother. Then the smile faded. I was still a stranger.

The screaming started.

Being a manly man, I immediately went to the washroom, locked the door, and covered my hands over my ears as I turned on the shower to drown out the screeching noise. I’m not one for long showers, but forty minutes later I cautiously emerged, my skin turned to prunes, only to hear the sweet sound of silence.

All three ladies were awake.

No Maynard adventure that day. It was a day to relax, do some shopping, enjoy the pool.

As I found out a few hours later, enjoy some shopping meant Roc carries all the purchased items while pushing the stroller, freeing up the ladies to focus their attention on spending so freely even a capsuleer would cringe; and I did.

It’s amazing the crud people will buy simply because it’s on sale… ooohhh, electronics store. Excuse me.

So as I was saying, you can really find some good deals at these outlet malls…

We enjoyed a good swim later in the afternoon, and then I was told that tonight I would be babysitting. There are few things that can frighten a battle scarred war veteran, but this was most certainly one of them. Thankfully, the woman that had completely snared my heart and groin would be babysitting with me.

The mother had some type of dinner conference.

My dread continued to build until I was sweating from nerves. I was completely terrified of watching this screaming hell child for three hours.

She was put down to sleep before the mother left. If all went well (because things always go well when one hopes they will), the baby would be asleep the entire time.

The mother left. I sat on a chair while staring at the sexy curves of the sister, sleeping alongside the baby. Not quite what I had in mind, but I would rather have complete silence than risk the baby waking up.

To be honest, I don’t remember even twitching, or looking away, or breathing, until the door to the room opened and the mother had returned.

I let out a long sigh of relief, grabbed a few things, and headed for the bar to enjoy a long evening of drinks and cigars.

REAL VERSION

Woke up late this morning. Felt incredibly good to sleep in for once. Once the cobwebs cleared, I felt a sudden heart pounding compulsion to check if the baby was still alive… it hadn’t many sound in almost 10 hours.

The baby was fine. She looked at me, her big brown eyes giving away to a precious smile as she sat upright on the bed, leaning against her sleeping mother. Then the smile faded. I was still a stranger.

The screaming started.

Being a manly man, I immediately went to the washroom, locked the door, and covered my hands over my ears as I turned on the shower to drown out the screeching noise. I’m not one for long showers, but forty minutes later I cautiously emerged, my skin turned to prunes, only to hear the sweet sound of silence.

All three ladies were awake.

No Disney adventure that day. It was a day to relax, do some shopping, enjoy the pool.

As I found out a few hours later, enjoy some shopping meant me carrying all the purchased items while pushing the stroller, freeing up the ladies to focus their attention on spending so freely that any man in his right mind would cringe. I cringed twice.

It’s amazing the crud people will buy simply because it’s on sale… ooohhh, electronics store. Excuse me.

So as I was saying, you can really find some good deals at these outlet malls…

We enjoyed a good swim later in the afternoon, and then I remembered that tonight I would be babysitting, the entire reason we were invited on this trip. I was terrifed. My wife telling it would be fine, “What could go wrong?”,  didn’t alleviate my concerns at all.

My sister in law prepared for her conference dinner.

My dread continued to build until I was sweating from nerves. I was completely terrified of watching this screaming hell child for three hours.

She was put down to sleep just before my sister in law left. If all went well (because things always go well when one hopes they will), the baby would be asleep the entire time.

My wife and I were alone with the baby. Well, really I was alone, sitting on a chair, as my wife slept on the bed with the baby. Not quite what I had in mind, but I would rather have complete silence than risk the baby waking up.

To be honest, I don’t remember even twitching, or looking away, or breathing, until the door to the room opened and the mother had returned.

I let out a long sigh of relief, grabbed a few things, and headed for the bar to enjoy a long evening of drinks and cigars. I was so hell bent on getting out of there, I didn’t even invite my wife …

 

R&R: DAY 4

Posted by Roc Wieler on

ROC VERSION

Empires United.

That was the name of the theme park we were to visit today. It was Walt Maynard’s vision of a unified galaxy, co-existing peacefully, respectful of one another’s cultural differences, enriching all of our lives by working together. I had to respect the man’s dream.

I slept in that morning, forgoing any type of workout, and honestly felt rejuvenated. Proper rest is another important aspect of physical training, never forget that.

My travel companions slept in as well, but for them, that meant 10 AM, not the 6 AM I woke up at. That’s ok, it gave me some time to myself on my NeoCom, so I took advantage of some “me” time.

Once they awoke and were ready, we took the Maynard Transit system; that’s right, Maynard World was consumed so much physical real estate that it had its own private transit system. It just reinforced the power of believing in your dreams, and letting nothing or no one take it away from you.

So there we were, at Empires United, and I stood in awe once again of the sheer magnitude of detail given to every aspect of the park. There were granite slabs just inside the entranceway, easily 100 ft wide and 10 ft high, with 1 inch x 1 inch metal plates depicting avatars of those who had come before. It was a magnificent memorial, but even it compared to the giant sphere that was the main piece of the theme park.

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to enter the sphere, as infants weren’t allowed, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue.

The other main attraction of the theme park was that each empire, each bloodline, had its own area around a man made lake. In only a few short hours you could sample authentic experiences from Gallente, Amarr, Caldari, Minmatar, Jin Mei, Achura, Civire, Deteis, Intaki, Khanid, Ni Kunni, Sebiestor, Vherokior and Brutor; it was a little mind blowing.

Each area had its own distinctive architecture, cuisine, gift shops, and each area was staffed by members of that community.

The first stop on our circle around the United Empires lake was Gallente. Immediately I led my little group up to the refreshment bar.

“I’ll have one … ” I had almost said beer, but the hairs on the back of my neck had started to prickle. Turning my eyes slightly, I could see disapproval in the hard glares of both the women I was with, and realized that once again because of this infant, I would be denied a pleasurable experience on my leave time.

“Sorry, make that three lemonades.” I said to the waiting juice attendant.

It was then the infant girl looked up at me and smile. For a moment, my ice cold heart grew to three times its size. She was beautiful really; big, brown eyes with the longest eyelashes I had ever seen on a child, full cheeked happy smile; I could see what the appeal was to parents.

It was irrelevant to me, as I wasn’t able to reproduce anyway. Clones were sterile and I lost my original body a long time before.

The lemonades turned out to be a welcome salve against the sweltering heat and blazing sun, so we continued on our way, sampling foods from each empire and bloodline, browsing briefly in gift shops, and mostly enjoying conversation and recording video footage.

It was a great time for me to get to better know the beautiful woman that had made this vacation worthwhile, and we were inseparable all day long.

That is, until I saw the Brutor pavillion.

I still didn’t know enough about my own people, despite my education at the hands of Gigaer of the Prano clan, despite training with my Kandjal, despite the numerous hours I had spent with Maleatu Shakor learning the desperate and impoverished history of our people.

Suddenly, I was alone in the gift shop, dozens of items wrapped up in my arms: khumaak replicas, dulled kandjals and other martial weapons, tribal drum recording disks, hand carved collectible Brutor figurines, numerous pieces of clothing, I wanted it all.

It was then I remembered to not overspend. The lady I had been courting was unaware of my capsuleer status, was oblivious to the billions of isk I possessed in ships and assets. I wanted her to want me for me.

I put all the merchandise back except for two items: a single tribal TShirt that said “Uhuru kwa khila mtu”, which meant “Freedom for all”, and a replica khumaak. I had wanted one of these since giving away the Wildfire khumaak to the Republic University many months before.

As the day wound down, we found a nice outdoor cafe located beside the man made lake, enjoyed various finger foods and drinks, waiting for night to fall.

Empires United was well known for its nightly fireworks display, and sure enough, the crowd thickened as the sun set. The theme for that evening’s show was, surprise, surprise, “Empires United”, and consisted of a very well done story telling of what an ideal universe would be. It was a brilliant display.

We were all worn out as we sat on the monorail, but I forced myself into alertness; someone had to stand watch always.

I know we made it back to our hotel room, but I don’t actually recall the details. I just remember waking up on the floor at 4 AM the next morning.

REAL VERSION

Epcot Center.

That was the name of the theme park we were to visit today. It was Walt Disney’s vision of a unified world, co-existing peacefully, respectful of one another’s cultural differences, enriching all of our lives by working together. I had to respect the man’s dream, even if he was secretly a racist.

I slept in that morning, forgoing any type of workout, and honestly felt rejuvenated. Proper rest is another important aspect of physical training, never forget that.

My travel companions slept in as well, but for them, that meant 10 AM, not the 6 AM I woke up at. That’s ok, it gave me some time to myself on my iPhone, so I took advantage of some “me” time.

Once they awoke and were ready, we took the Disney Transit system; that’s right, Disney World was consumed so much physical real estate that it had its own private transit system. It just reinforced the power of believing in your dreams, and letting nothing or no one take it away from you.

So there we were, at Epcot Center, and I stood in awe once again of the sheer magnitude of detail given to every aspect of the park. There were granite slabs just inside the entranceway, easily 100 ft wide and 10 ft high, with 1 inch x 1 inch metal plates depicting avatars of those who had come before. It was a magnificent memorial, but even it compared to the giant sphere that was the main piece of the theme park.

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to enter the sphere, as infants weren’t allowed, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue.

The other main attraction of the theme park was that many countries had their own area around a man made lake. In only a few short hours you could sample authentic experiences from Canada, Italy, Germany, Norway, France, Japan, China, and many more; it was a little mind blowing.

Each area had its own distinctive architecture, cuisine, gift shops, and each area was staffed by members of that community.

The first stop on our circle around the Epcot lake was Germany. Immediately I led my little group up to the refreshment bar.

“I’ll have one … ” I had almost said beer, but the hairs on the back of my neck had started to prickle. Turning my eyes slightly, I could see disapproval in the hard glares of both the women I was with, and realized that once again because of this infant, I would be denied a pleasurable experience on my leave time.

“Sorry, make that three lemonades.” I said to the waiting juice attendant.

It was then the infant girl looked up at me and smile. For a moment, my ice cold heart grew to three times its size. She was beautiful really; big, brown eyes with the longest eyelashes I had ever seen on a child, full cheeked happy smile; I could see what the appeal was to parents.

It was irrelevant to me, as my wife and I had decided not to have children long ago. It wasn’t that we didn’t love children, we just also loved the lifestyle we had worked to create together. Know what? I’ll let you read what she has to say about it, as she can word it far better than I can. Her blog post is aptly entitled “Say NO to kids“.

The lemonades turned out to be a welcome salve against the sweltering heat and blazing sun, so we continued on our way, sampling foods from each country, browsing briefly in gift shops, and mostly enjoying conversation and recording video footage.

It was a great time for me to get to better know the beautiful woman that had made my life worthwhile, and we were inseparable all day long.

That is, until I saw the Japanese pavillion.

I am a man of passion, both good and bad. One of the things I am passionate about is Japanese culture. My entire life I have had a fascination with the architecture, the paintings, the calligraphy, the cuisine, the woman, the clothing, the martial arts, the language, the music, everything.

My wife knew this well. In fact, she had even put a trip to Japan as one of the items I could choose for my 40th birthday.

Suddenly, I was alone in the gift shop, dozens of items wrapped up in my arms: dulled weapon replicas, tribal drum CDs, collectible Geisha figurines, various religious trinkets, numerous pieces of clothing, I wanted it all.

It was then I remembered to not overspend. I had seriously spent too much at Star Tours and had promised my wife I wouldn’t go crazy with spending anywhere else. Dammit! I needed to be more careful of the promises I made in the future.

Ah well, next time.

I put all the merchandise back except for one item: a single tribal TShirt that depicted subtle calligraphy on one shoulder. I wanted at least some memento to remind me of my time here.

As the day wound down, we found a nice outdoor cafe located beside the man made lake, enjoyed various finger foods and drinks, waiting for night to fall.

Epcot was well known for its nightly fireworks display, and sure enough, the crowd thickened as the sun set. The theme for that evening’s show was “Earth”, and consisted of a very well done story telling of what an ideal world would be. It was a brilliant display.

We were all worn out as we sat on the monorail, but I forced myself into alertness; someone had to stand watch always.

I know we made it back to our hotel room, but I don’t actually recall the details. I just remember waking up on the floor at 4 AM the next morning.

R&R: DAY 3

Posted by Roc Wieler on

ROC VERSION

It was a day of temptation all around…

I started the morning with another hot, sweaty, hard to breathe run. I had decided to run around the resort I was staying at, getting the lay of the land, so to speak, in case of emergencies. I was like that. I had already memorized fire escape routes, security posts, shift changes, etc; it was force of habit.

While enduring the hellacious run, I ran passed the hotel’s exercise facilities. They looked fantastic, and I could tell from the condensation on the outside of the transparisteel that it was severely air conditioned. Very tempting, but I needed to focus on my running more than any other aspect of my physical training at that time.

I kept running.

Of course, the thing with distance running on a circuit is that you inevitably end up passing by the same landmarks. By my third pass of the gym, I gave in and went for a vigorous high weight, low rep workout. I couldn’t help myself.

An hour later, I returned back to our room. Checking my chrono, it was only 7 AM. By the time I had finished steaming off, all three ladies were awake, hungry, and grumpy, so we headed downstairs for an expensive breakfast buffet.

It was the first time, but definitely not the last, that I noticed how high the percentage of obesity was at this theme park. It was disturbing to be honest. Don’t misunderstand the sentiment here; I wasn’t being judgemental of the individuals. My bitterness and poor attitude were geared towards what our societies had manufactured as the norm. The fact that most of the fat fucks were Amarr was just pure coincidence.

I ate a hearty meal of fresh, uncooked salmon, many fruits, yogurts, mixed nuts, granola and egg whites. While others went for the fatty, albeit delicious red meats and deep fried selections, I wouldn’t give into the temptation … until I did, and had a stack of turkey sausage that was far too high in sodium but utterly heavenly on my tongue.

Then it was off to GalNet Studios.

I had heard about this place for many years, and made a bee line for the first place of interest to me, and probably me alone, the Capsuleer simulator. It was part ride/part show, and meant to give regular citizens of the empires a glimpse into what it was like to be one of the immortal pod pilots that lived amongst the stars throughout eternity. At least that’s what the sign said.

We stood in line for quite some time, and I took it in through all my senses: the sights and sounds, but people’s moods and conversations, always digesting everything around me.

The wait line was well decorated to look like a Sisters of EVE space station. There was great attention to detail, and I have to say, if it wasn’t for the extreme heat, it might have been believable.

The ride itself was ludicrous… the story of a capsuleer pilot that became disengaged from his pod, and needed you, the rider, to save the crew from certain death. I snickered far too much, but I could tell from the saucer eyed patrons that they were eating it up hook, line and sinker.

I also learned pod pilots have theme music apparently, as with every climatic moment throughout the ride and presentation, there was an epic underscore to evoke the appropriate emotional response from the masses. I snickered again.

Upon leaving the ride, I still heard the theme music, as well as some narration, and turned my attention to the “Capsuleer Training Academy” live show, where it appeared young children were being “tested” for their potential as pod pilots. I really couldn’t stop snickering as I moved closer to watch the show.

I had to admit it was cute in a certain way, watching the young ones fumble around while the host tried to keep the show moving forward.

Then there was a dramatic pause, complete with more theme music, and a Jovian came on stage! I put my face in my palm and just laughed while shaking my head while the crowd booed quietly. The young ones combined their efforts and managed to drive the evil Jovian away, all to the applause of the onlookers. The show was over.

I made my way to “Jita”, the souvenir shop for the attraction. I was already smirking to myself as I entered the store, imagining what asinine things I might find for sale.

I stopped laughing seconds after as I saw “Property of Matar Colonel Roc Wieler” T-Shirts, an autographed portrait of myself, as well as the chance to have your photo taken with “Roc Wieler”, which was really nothing more than computer trickery.  Finally, my eyes fell on the “Roc Wieler Action Figure, complete with death grip.” There were countless other gifts and trinkets in the store of course, but I felt suddenly exposed, embarassed, and more than a little claustrophobic.

I couldn’t exit the store fast enough.

“What’s wrong?” a melodious voice asked me.

“Oh, nothing.” I spat out awkwardly, turning to see my beautiful adventure partner waiting for me, slight concern and confusion in her eyes.

From there, we spent the rest of the day enjoying many rides and attractions: talking puppets, scary elevator dropping hotels, rock stars, stunt shows, and even a live-action  “Minmatar Rebellion” performance, which gave me shivers up and down my arms honestly.

One other item of note: I ate a turkey leg. It might not sound like much, but it must’ve weighed 3 pounds. Have you ever tried to eat 3 lbs of meat? I got meat sweats.

That evening, I got some alone time with the beautiful woman I was constantly trying to get to know more intimately. We decided to go for a swim in the pristine resort pool, enjoyed a hot tub together, then retired to the deck to enjoy cigars and drinks.

I got to sleep in the bed again. Let’s leave it at that.

And for once, the baby didn’t cry all night.

REAL VERSION

It was a day of temptation all around…

I started the morning with another hot, sweaty, hard to breathe run. I had decided to run around the resort I was staying at, getting the lay of the land, so to speak, in case of emergencies. I was like that. I had already memorized fire escape routes, security posts, shift changes, etc; it was force of habit.

While enduring the hellacious run, I ran passed the hotel’s exercise facilities. They looked fantastic, and I could tell from the condensation on the outside of the window that it was severely air conditioned. Very tempting, but I needed to focus on my running more than any other aspect of my physical training at that time.

I kept running.

Of course, the thing with distance running on a circuit is that you inevitably end up passing by the same landmarks. By my third pass of the gym, I gave in and went for a vigorous high weight, low rep workout. I couldn’t help myself.

An hour later, I returned back to our room. Checking my watch, it was only 7 AM. I took my time melting away my stresses in a long, hot shower. By the time I had finished, all three ladies were awake, hungry, and grumpy, so we headed downstairs for an expensive breakfast buffet.

It was the first time, but definitely not the last, that I noticed how high the percentage of obesity was at this theme park. It was disturbing to be honest. Don’t misunderstand the sentiment here; I wasn’t being judgemental of the individuals. My bitterness and poor attitude were geared towards what North American society had dictated to be normal. I had been to theme parks in Canada, and never seen that many fat people. It made me wonder how much worse the health issues in America had to be.

I ate a hearty meal of fresh, uncooked salmon, many fruits, yogurts, mixed nuts, granola and egg whites. While others went for the fatty, albeit delicious red meats and deep fried selections, I wouldn’t give into the temptation … until I did, and had a stack of turkey sausage that was far too high in sodium but utterly heavenly on my tongue.

Then it was off to Hollywood Studios.

I had heard about this place for many years, and made a bee line for the first place of interest to me, and probably me alone, the Star Tours simulator. I have been a Star Wars fan since first seeing the film in 1977.  Star Tours was part ride/part show, and meant to give park guests an immersive experience into the Star Wars universe, which was honestly the coolest thing I could ever imagine. At least that’s what the sign said.

Unfortunately, Star Tours was closed. Star Tours II was under construction. All those years of longing, and I had missed it. Figures.

Then I heard the most unmistakable piece of music to ever be composed … the Star Wars theme. I looked around frantically, suddenly feeling about 8 years old, until I saw a glimpse of a Jedi Knight nearby. I was already walking towards him by the time I realized what was going on.

The Jedi Training Academy show was underway.

Younglings with practice lightsabers were learning a very basic routine. I couldn’t help but mime along. Then Vader’s theme played as two stormtroopers took to the stage. I hollered and cheered something fierce. Many of the adults looked at me and scowled, so I returned the look with a quick “Screw you, it’s Vader” on my tongue. My wife wouldn’t have been impressed, but she was off looking for a hat to protect her from the heat, leaving the 8 year old me to enjoy this epic moment in my life fully.

The younglings gathered together and fought off Vader. It was pitiful, yet cute, but I was really hoping he would at least cut one of them down, just to shock a parent or two. Ah well.

When the show was over I made my way to “Tusken Raiders”, the souvenir shop for the attraction. I was already smirking to myself as I entered the store, knowing I would spend far more money here than I could ever justify.

I had never been more right. I bought shirts, I built my own custom lightsaber, I bought a Jedi Training Academy baseball hat for my wife, I bought an Honourary Jedi Master badge for myself… I bought a lot more. A LOT more.

My wife came in just as I was paying for it all. She couldn’t get me out of the store fast enough.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her, trying to avoid an argument over my spending. I knew I wouldn’t spend like that on anything else in Disney, or anywhere else, and that is was a once in a lifetime thing.

“Nothing.” she said, smiling at me, her beautiful brown eyes boring into me. “I’m glad you got your moment.”

I love that woman.

From there, we spent the rest of the day enjoying many rides and attractions: MuppetVision 3D, Tower of Terror, the Aerosmith ride, stunt shows, and even a live-action  “Indiana Jones” performance, which gave me shivers up and down my arms honestly.

One other item of note: I ate a turkey leg. It might not sound like much, but it must’ve weighed 3 pounds. Have you ever tried to eat 3 lbs of meat? I got meat sweats.

That evening, I got some alone time with the beautiful woman I am constantly trying to get to know more intimately. We decided to go for a swim in the pristine resort pool, enjoyed a hot tub together, then retired to the deck to enjoy cigars and drinks.

I got to sleep in the bed again. Let’s leave it at that.

And for once, the baby didn’t cry all night.

R&R: DAY 2

Posted by Roc Wieler on

ROC VERSION

Ugh. A single night on a hard hotel room floor reminded me of my age as I twisted and stretched, working the kinks and aches from my body.

The baby was crying.

Maybe it was my military training, but I had barely been able to sleep at all from the noise of her screaming throughout the entire night, or maybe I just had no tolerance for children, but either way, I was up. I took a look at my chrono: 4:30 AM. Ugh.

I decided I would go for a jog, clear my mind with some fresh air. I also decided I would get back in the good graces of these two lovely ladies (especially the one without the child) by jogging to Starmart, and picking up some new baby’s milk before anyone else woke up.

Good plan, Roc.

The sliding door to the moon’s artificial atmosphere opened. I was hit with 31 C heat, and immediately felt the full humidity of the environment. I hadn’t even started my run and my clothes were already sticking with wetness.

5 km later, I arrived at Starmart, and walked into what felt like 10 C air conditioning. The extreme shift in temperature was unpleasant, to say the least.

It was then I realized I hadn’t brought my ID or creds with me; I really was exhausted mentally as well as physically, and sure as hell wasn’t running back to get them.

I went to the customer service department, and asked if they had any logs of 2 milk containers being left behind at approximately 9:02 PM the night before. She checked the log, and the security footage, asking me to detail my inquiry.

“We were in aisle 18, the less than 20 items aisle. An older Gallente couple were in front of us with many clothing items; it annoyed me. Aisle 17 opened suddenly, and as I moved lines, an underaged teenager cut across my path with alcohol in his hand. We paid for our products, but somehow forgot that particular bag, as we don’t have a turnstile system back home for bagging. We exited at 9:02 PM.”

I had a memory for details. Again, military training.

The customer service representative was more than a little shocked. Everything I had said transpired to the exact timing of me saying it as the security footage rolled.

I got my two containers of milk, and left the store. One small win for Roc.

Then I realized I had to jog 5 km with two containers of milk in my hands. Granted, the containers were only about 2 pounds apiece, but that adds up a lot, and totally through off my form. I had to adjust my stride significantly, pushing forward with  my shoulders as my arms hung straight.

It was a challenging recreational run. Mind you, running 20 km with a 60 lb backpack on was much worse, but I hadn’t done that in a long while.

I arrived back at the hotel. Everyone was awake. The baby’s mother was shocked and thankful to see milk for her child, and the disarmingly beautiful creature I had taken an interest in slyly smiled at me with that knowing look that she would thank me later in a much more intimate way.

The run was entirely worth it.

We spent the duration of the day at a place called Animal Kingdom. I fully expected pathetic, caged animals, lacking enthusiasm for life. Instead, I was repeatedly impressed and surprised at the sheer size, quality of care, variety of species, interest in every attraction, and more offerings the theme park possessed.

It was truly a good start to my vacation.

That evening, the sister treated us all to an overpriced dinner, which I graciously accepted, and as we retired for the night to our room, I was in for one more very pleasant surprise.

As I started arranging myself on the floor, the beautiful woman that stirred my heart offered me a place beside her on the bed.

“Won’t it be a tight squeeze?” I asked playfully.

“I’m hoping.” she replied coyly, pulling my arm around her chest as I slid into bed beside her.

Now if only someone could stop that baby from crying all damned night.

REAL VERSION

Ugh. A single night on a hard hotel room floor reminded me of my age as I twisted and stretched, working the kinks and aches from my body.

The baby was crying.

I had barely been able to sleep at all from the noise of her screaming throughout the entire night, or maybe it was just the excitement of being at Disney World for the first time in my life. I took a look at my watch: 4:30 AM. Ugh.

I decided I would go for a jog, clear my mind with some fresh air. I also decided I would get back in the good graces of my wife and her sister by jogging over to Walmart and picking up some new baby’s milk before anyone else woke up.

Good plan.

The main doors to the hotel slid open. I was hit with 31 C heat, and immediately felt the full humidity of the environment. I hadn’t even started my run and my clothes were already sticking with wetness.

5 km later, I arrived at Walmart, and walked into what felt like 10 C air conditioning. The extreme shift in temperature was unpleasant, to say the least.

It was then I realized I hadn’t brought my money or credit card with me; I really was exhausted mentally as well as physically, and sure as hell wasn’t running back to get them.

I went to the customer service department, and asked if they had any logs of 2 milk containers being left behind at approximately 9:02 PM the night before. She checked the log, and the security footage, asking me to detail my inquiry.

“We were in aisle 18, the less than 20 items aisle. An older couple were in front of us with many clothing items; it annoyed me. Aisle 17 opened suddenly, and as I moved lines, an underaged teenager cut across my path with alcohol in his hand. We paid for our products, but somehow forgot that particular bag, as we don’t have a turnstile system back home for bagging. We exited at 9:02 PM.”

I had a memory for details ever since I was young.

The customer service representative was more than a little shocked. Everything I had said transpired to the exact timing of me saying it as the security footage rolled.

I got my two containers of milk, and left the store. One small win for me.

Then I realized I had to jog 5 km with two containers of milk in my hands. Granted, the containers were only about 2 pounds apiece, but that adds up a lot, and totally through off my form. I had to adjust my stride significantly, pushing forward with  my shoulders as my arms hung straight.

It was a challenging recreational run. Mind you, running 20 km with a 60 lb backpack on was much worse, but I hadn’t done that in over a decade.

I arrived back at the hotel. Everyone was awake. The baby’s mother was shocked and thankful to see milk for her child, and my disarmingly beautiful wife slyly smiled at me with that knowing look that she would thank me later in a much more intimate way.

The run was entirely worth it.

We spent the duration of the day at Animal Kingdom. I fully expected pathetic, caged animals, lacking enthusiasm for life. Instead, I was repeatedly impressed and surprised at the sheer size, quality of care, variety of species, interest in every attraction, and more offerings the theme park possessed.

I took way too much video.

It was truly a good start to my vacation.

That evening, my sister in law treated us all to an overpriced dinner, which I graciously accepted, and as we retired for the night to our room, I was in for one more very pleasant surprise.

As I started arranging myself on the floor, the beautiful woman that stirs my heart daily offered me a place beside her on the bed.

“Won’t it be a tight squeeze?” I asked playfully.

“I’m hoping.” she replied coyly, pulling my arm around her chest as I slid into bed beside her.

Now if only someone could stop that baby from crying all damned night.