Based on the article by Tim Hoch found here.
We all do it. We make things unnecessarily difficult for ourselves. We get stuck in our heads. We become our own worst enemies. By the time we’re in that state of mind, it’s too late. We’re there and it’s very hard to get back out. So how do we stop from getting to that point in the first place? Here’s some tips:
- Stop taking everything personally – your friend doesn’t say hi on chat even though you see them online. Maybe they’re just busy? Someone cuts you off while driving. You think they did that to you on purpose. You assigned bad intentions to something innocent. You believe people are trying to purposefully hurt you. Happy people don’t do this.
- You are the star of your own movie – And you should be. Don’t be a viewer in your own life. Just remember, there are three circles of control – what you can control is the inner and smallest circle, what you can directly influence is the next ring out, surrounded by the biggest of the three – what you have no control over whatsoever. Learn to let go. Let the book write itself. Let new characters enter. Let old ones leave. Let the plot twists happen. Don’t fight it. You will lose.
- That escalated quickly – Your sore throat might be cancer. That same friend that didn’t say hi online must hate you and your friendship is over. Negativity is a downward spiral. Stop doing it.
- People can’t read your mind – Don’t set people up to fail you with unrealistic and uncommunicated expectations. Be open. Be honest. Be brave. Speak your mind. Those that care about you and respect you will be closer to you. Those that don’t shouldn’t be in your life anyway no matter how hard that is to accept.
- You’re waiting for a sign – some people do nothing without some type of divine sign. Stop it. Religious or not, get out there and start living. Believe that your Deity is looking out for you and will steer your path of activity. Or, if non-religious, know that of all the courses of action you could take, the worst is not taking any.
- You don’t take risks – The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. Sure, the bigger the fail, but since when has failing been a bad thing? Get out there. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Risk it all. Even your heart.
- You compare yourself to others – Stop thinking you’re at the bottom of the ladder, out of everyone else’s league. You might be surprised to know that some people may think you’re out of their league. Live your life to its fullest potential. The only person you have to be better than is who you were the day before.
- There’s an hour you’ll never get back – Time is your most valuable commodity. Whether it’s a couple of hours per month, or a few minutes each day, they are precious. Choose who you want to spend your time with. Someone that leaves you laughing and happy? Or someone that berates you, is always negative, and drags you down with them?
- Let it go – Let it go, can’t hold it back anymore. Life is full of loss. Like I said yesterday, without being broken we can’t appreciate being whole. Find happiness in each moment. Don’t let anyone else dictate your own emotional health.
- You don’t give back – Get involved. Interact with others. Join a sports team. Go to the gym. Be a volunteer. Something. Anything. Get back out there. You’ll be amazed how appreciated you are for just being yourself. Givers are happy people. Takers generally aren’t.
I know I’ve been guilty of all of these, sometimes it feels all at once. It can be overwhelming, even for someone with beefy shoulders like me. But hey, if I can do it, so can you.