“How are you?” they ask, in typical small talk fashion.
“I am mighty.” I reply, or with something equally unusual to hopefully stir thought.
I’ve been working hard these last few years to get my life in good health – mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially. They are all related. It’s iceberg theory.
10% of the iceberg is visible. That percentage is your conscious mind, your self-image. The other 90% is your subconscious/unconscious mind, your self-limitations. They are the things you really believe about yourself, not what you show and tell others.
I have focused with great determination to believe that I am awesome, that I can accomplish anything I put my will towards, that I am a blessed and thankful man. Guess what? It’s true about me. It’s also true about you.
It’s this high belief in myself that has allowed to overcome obstacles others around me have called crazy. It’s even been reflected in my work ethic and my recent annual review where my boss shook his head after reading “the most disciplined person I know.” in which he had to add verbally “I simply don’t know you do it.”
It’s genuine praise and admiration, though often this world confuses it for vanity and arrogance.
A few months ago I injured my back. There were those concerned that I should slow down, take it easy for fear of risking greater injury. I stayed focused. I stretched. I pushed to my limits but not beyond. I didn’t miss a single day at the gym. I hate missing days at the gym.
This entire winter I have seen neighbours, coworkers, family, other loved ones, all fall prey to these aggressive and violent flu strains while I remained untouched.
Today, in the continued efforts of transparency and accountability, I’m here to let you know that I am mighty. And I have fallen.
I’ve had tremendous stomach pains as of late. So brutal has it been that since Saturday I’ve been barely able to keep any food down. I’ve puked so much and so hard that I threw my back out. What little food stays down comes out explosively. Sometimes my body betrays with both at the same time. Lovely.
Monday morning, I still went to the gym. I changed into my workout attire. I started my warmup. I nearly fell over from pain and nausea. I found the line quickly. I packed it up and went home. I barely made it through my job on Monday. I left early Tuesday.
I went to the doctor today. I am now bed-ridden at least until the end of the week. She was impressed. I have caught a highly contagious airborne gastrointestinal bug that has hospitalized people within a day, and I was still standing four days in. Yes, I’ll take victories where I can.
Now I have gone from 3000 calories per day to barely able to survive on bananas, rice, applesauce, toast and crackers – things I would never normally touch but are pretty much all I can keep down. I need to conserve calories. No gym for me. My body is already cannibalizing itself.
It’s disheartening. Fanfest is so close. I’ve worked so hard to get buff, to be Roc Wieler. I haven’t lost sight of my goal just yet.
I’m simply sharing. We’re all human. We all have ups and downs. It’s how we respond to these situations that define who we are and who we will be.
I’m asking for your thoughts, your prayers, your energy. Be my strength. Give me your excess. Positive words of encouragement can do wonders.
I will not remain sick. I will not remain weak. I will conquer this faster than anyone else ever has. My 10% dictates what my 90% will do.
Believe in you. Like I believe in me.
PS. I may not get to emails in my regular time. Please be patient.