That alarm went off way too soon. You rub your eyes, but it just isn’t making the cobwebs go away. You’re pissing out more coffee than you’re drinking and you still feel like hell.

Daylight Savings Time sucks. And it doesn’t even have to be.

1784 – BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Ben: I suggest Daylight Savings Time.

Everyone Else: Srsly? No.

WW I – GERMANY

Germans: We’re running out of coal.

Anonymous and forgotten German: Hey, remember what that Ben Franklin guy said, lol? Let’s do that! We’ll save coal if we’re not in the dark as much. ❤

Rest of the World: Let’s do what the Germans did. Why are we burning extra coal like fools? ROFLMAOBBQ!

I get it. I understand the technology limitations during that era and why it was deemed necessary to take such actions. Influential people thought it would work, so the governments listened. War is expensive after all. Don’t even get me started on the introduction of a temporary war tax that was to be removed once the war was over.

HELLO 2012

Smart folk: Should we get rid of Daylight Savings Time?

Dumb Influential People: No!

Arizona: lolz, you guys are idiots.

That’s right. Arizona has never adopted Daylight Savings Time and they seem to be doing just fine without it.

The dumb influential people believe Daylight Savings Time reduces energy usage, promotes a healthy lifestyle, reduces traffic accidents. This is why they are dumb people. They use buzzwords like “eco-friendly”, “environmental awareness”, “fossil fuel alternatives”, “Kony 2012”. Make no mistake, all those things are important. They are simply dumb people because they jump on whatever current bandwagon suits their agenda at the time.

So many rants coming out at once! It’s not good to keep things bottled up, but let’s shift our focus back to Daylight Savings Time.

Energy Savings

When the Germans introduced Daylight Savings time, it was to lower fuel costs. By reducing the use of artificial lighting at night, but increasing its use in the morning, it was thought the evening savings outweighed the morning increase.

That was possibly true a century ago.

Some recent studies have shown that Daylight Savings Time reduces electricity usage in the US by 1%. Other studies show that percentage to closer to 0. Myth busted!

Traffic Accidents

Argument Two is that Daylight Savings Time reduces traffic accidents. Of course, anyone that has driven the day after we jump ahead knows this is simply stupid. It has been proven, time and again, that the day after Daylight Savings Time is the single most dangerous time to drive, and has the highest rate of vehicular accidents.

The months of March and April have the highest reports of traffic incidents in North America each year. Busted!

Healthy Lifestyle

If you like heart attacks, keep believing in Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know about you, but as I get older, my heart health is becoming of more importance to me. Anything I can do to avoid a premature and senseless death is a good thing.

Daylight Savings Time shifts our circadian rhythmn. This is bad for the heart, and also can cause depression.

Studies have shown (again with the studies and no links. Google it yourself!) that suicide rates and records of depression spike after Daylight Savings Time.

Kazakhstan 2005

Kazakhstan: You’re all idiots. We’re dropping Daylight Savings Time. Our people are depressed because they’re dying of heart attacks.

Flush those Billions

If lack of energy savings, as well as your personal health and safety aren’t enough to convince you that Daylight Savings Time is bogus, let’s appeal to your wallet; that usually hurts in an uncomfortable way.

USA: We lose billions every year because of Daylight Savings Time

Stock Market: We see negative spikes

Agriculture: This is very disruptive to our routines

Conclusion

One hundred years ago we didn’t have hard data to tell us what the measurable impact of Daylight Savings Time was on us. We accepted it because we were told to, and really didn’t have the power to say no.

World Governments: All your hours belong to us, lolz!

Now, we know better. Now, we know that power is with the people when they believe in something strongly enough.

Daylight Savings Time needs to die.

You: ___________