ROC VERSION

Ugh. A single night on a hard hotel room floor reminded me of my age as I twisted and stretched, working the kinks and aches from my body.

The baby was crying.

Maybe it was my military training, but I had barely been able to sleep at all from the noise of her screaming throughout the entire night, or maybe I just had no tolerance for children, but either way, I was up. I took a look at my chrono: 4:30 AM. Ugh.

I decided I would go for a jog, clear my mind with some fresh air. I also decided I would get back in the good graces of these two lovely ladies (especially the one without the child) by jogging to Starmart, and picking up some new baby’s milk before anyone else woke up.

Good plan, Roc.

The sliding door to the moon’s artificial atmosphere opened. I was hit with 31 C heat, and immediately felt the full humidity of the environment. I hadn’t even started my run and my clothes were already sticking with wetness.

5 km later, I arrived at Starmart, and walked into what felt like 10 C air conditioning. The extreme shift in temperature was unpleasant, to say the least.

It was then I realized I hadn’t brought my ID or creds with me; I really was exhausted mentally as well as physically, and sure as hell wasn’t running back to get them.

I went to the customer service department, and asked if they had any logs of 2 milk containers being left behind at approximately 9:02 PM the night before. She checked the log, and the security footage, asking me to detail my inquiry.

“We were in aisle 18, the less than 20 items aisle. An older Gallente couple were in front of us with many clothing items; it annoyed me. Aisle 17 opened suddenly, and as I moved lines, an underaged teenager cut across my path with alcohol in his hand. We paid for our products, but somehow forgot that particular bag, as we don’t have a turnstile system back home for bagging. We exited at 9:02 PM.”

I had a memory for details. Again, military training.

The customer service representative was more than a little shocked. Everything I had said transpired to the exact timing of me saying it as the security footage rolled.

I got my two containers of milk, and left the store. One small win for Roc.

Then I realized I had to jog 5 km with two containers of milk in my hands. Granted, the containers were only about 2 pounds apiece, but that adds up a lot, and totally through off my form. I had to adjust my stride significantly, pushing forward with  my shoulders as my arms hung straight.

It was a challenging recreational run. Mind you, running 20 km with a 60 lb backpack on was much worse, but I hadn’t done that in a long while.

I arrived back at the hotel. Everyone was awake. The baby’s mother was shocked and thankful to see milk for her child, and the disarmingly beautiful creature I had taken an interest in slyly smiled at me with that knowing look that she would thank me later in a much more intimate way.

The run was entirely worth it.

We spent the duration of the day at a place called Animal Kingdom. I fully expected pathetic, caged animals, lacking enthusiasm for life. Instead, I was repeatedly impressed and surprised at the sheer size, quality of care, variety of species, interest in every attraction, and more offerings the theme park possessed.

It was truly a good start to my vacation.

That evening, the sister treated us all to an overpriced dinner, which I graciously accepted, and as we retired for the night to our room, I was in for one more very pleasant surprise.

As I started arranging myself on the floor, the beautiful woman that stirred my heart offered me a place beside her on the bed.

“Won’t it be a tight squeeze?” I asked playfully.

“I’m hoping.” she replied coyly, pulling my arm around her chest as I slid into bed beside her.

Now if only someone could stop that baby from crying all damned night.

REAL VERSION

Ugh. A single night on a hard hotel room floor reminded me of my age as I twisted and stretched, working the kinks and aches from my body.

The baby was crying.

I had barely been able to sleep at all from the noise of her screaming throughout the entire night, or maybe it was just the excitement of being at Disney World for the first time in my life. I took a look at my watch: 4:30 AM. Ugh.

I decided I would go for a jog, clear my mind with some fresh air. I also decided I would get back in the good graces of my wife and her sister by jogging over to Walmart and picking up some new baby’s milk before anyone else woke up.

Good plan.

The main doors to the hotel slid open. I was hit with 31 C heat, and immediately felt the full humidity of the environment. I hadn’t even started my run and my clothes were already sticking with wetness.

5 km later, I arrived at Walmart, and walked into what felt like 10 C air conditioning. The extreme shift in temperature was unpleasant, to say the least.

It was then I realized I hadn’t brought my money or credit card with me; I really was exhausted mentally as well as physically, and sure as hell wasn’t running back to get them.

I went to the customer service department, and asked if they had any logs of 2 milk containers being left behind at approximately 9:02 PM the night before. She checked the log, and the security footage, asking me to detail my inquiry.

“We were in aisle 18, the less than 20 items aisle. An older couple were in front of us with many clothing items; it annoyed me. Aisle 17 opened suddenly, and as I moved lines, an underaged teenager cut across my path with alcohol in his hand. We paid for our products, but somehow forgot that particular bag, as we don’t have a turnstile system back home for bagging. We exited at 9:02 PM.”

I had a memory for details ever since I was young.

The customer service representative was more than a little shocked. Everything I had said transpired to the exact timing of me saying it as the security footage rolled.

I got my two containers of milk, and left the store. One small win for me.

Then I realized I had to jog 5 km with two containers of milk in my hands. Granted, the containers were only about 2 pounds apiece, but that adds up a lot, and totally through off my form. I had to adjust my stride significantly, pushing forward with  my shoulders as my arms hung straight.

It was a challenging recreational run. Mind you, running 20 km with a 60 lb backpack on was much worse, but I hadn’t done that in over a decade.

I arrived back at the hotel. Everyone was awake. The baby’s mother was shocked and thankful to see milk for her child, and my disarmingly beautiful wife slyly smiled at me with that knowing look that she would thank me later in a much more intimate way.

The run was entirely worth it.

We spent the duration of the day at Animal Kingdom. I fully expected pathetic, caged animals, lacking enthusiasm for life. Instead, I was repeatedly impressed and surprised at the sheer size, quality of care, variety of species, interest in every attraction, and more offerings the theme park possessed.

I took way too much video.

It was truly a good start to my vacation.

That evening, my sister in law treated us all to an overpriced dinner, which I graciously accepted, and as we retired for the night to our room, I was in for one more very pleasant surprise.

As I started arranging myself on the floor, the beautiful woman that stirs my heart daily offered me a place beside her on the bed.

“Won’t it be a tight squeeze?” I asked playfully.

“I’m hoping.” she replied coyly, pulling my arm around her chest as I slid into bed beside her.

Now if only someone could stop that baby from crying all damned night.