The Tyranny of the Undead Space People
Who Don’t Really Fight Giant Space Battles Over Planetary Control As Depicted In The Holo-reels
– by So Sensational

“What is that?” the boy said. His mother looked to the sky.
“I don’t know, I believe it might be a bird” she replied, clearly confused by the giant thing approaching in the sky, she had never seen such a thing before.
“NO!” cried an echoing voice, loud enough to scare away a flock of actual futurebirds who were nesting in the trees, “It is I, the mighty and fearless capsuleer Andy94, member of the Advanced Tactics and Murder corporation! I have come here to sow the seeds of profit!”
“The seeds of profit?” the mother asked, clearly not understanding what the great voice in the sky was talking about.
“I shall make you my slaves, woman! I shall claim the planets for myself, nothing can stop me and my powerful Maller, no one will interfere when I impose my tyranny on the weak people of this world!”
“That does not sound very fun at all ( )” she said, “What will you have us do? Surely it cannot be all that bad?”
“Fool! I shall make you draw LINES! I shall have you raise colorful buildings in the name of your lord! You will know fear Muahahahahaha!”

A loud noise, coming from space (he he) burst through the atmosphere, had someone else come to claim the same prize as our dear tyrant Andy34? Surely that could not be? Someone else would taint the rule of our might leader? Surely he could stop them though, it is not as if this world is divided into multiple areas where you do not see the other capsuleers, we all live in the same galaxy after all.

Or so we thought, for the mighty and benevolent, Anastacia Rofo had come to conquer the same planet as Andy05, not through tyranny, but peaceful reign! Everyone would benefit under her (his) benevolence, the line drawers would draw mighty lines of unprecedented cultural significance, her factories would produce amazing quantities of high quality goods unrivaled by the entirely different, not at all exactly the same, creations of lesser demigods.

Andy85, the ruthless tyrant, could not stand for this, such insolence was not a part of the world he had grown up in. No one could challenge him when he stole cubic meter after cubic meter of Veldspar from the spineless, almost automated miners in the belts of high security Amarr space, his flashing red ship had never been challenged by the weak and the cowardly. Surely this one would not do so either, after all, he was a god among gods.

“You there, I am the mighty Andy7, ruler of this world, you are not welcome here!” he said over the comms.
“But surely we can come to some agreement, I do not wish to offend you!” a suspiciously deep voice replied, “My name is Anastacia Rofo, commander of the 55th Legion of the Exploration and Mineral Extraction Association”
“Never! This planet and it’s people are mine!” he touted, clearly proud of his initial contact with the indigenous people, surely the fear they felt after his glorious arrival, would keep them in line.
“Then, I am afraid I must close this comms, if you cannot cooperate I must add you to my blocklist” she threatened, most likely thinking that he would fear such a thing, as if he needed her! Hmph, cowards AND fools!
“Fool, how will that help you take this planet away from me?!” he spat out, and laughed to himself.
“But surely you have heard good sir, I don’t have to, we can coexist and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
“What?! This is unpossible! My tyranny must not be challenged, who will draw the lines in a society like yours? Who will respond to a leader without a firm hand?!”
“We shall see, there is no doubt in my mind that both our ways of ruling will have a great impact on our subjects, but I do not doubt my ways.”
“But surely you cannot build on the same planet as I? I shall conquer your colony!” he said, while grinding his teeth in frustration.
“It would seem that we are separated by an invisible wall, thus rendering the powers of your mighty Maller completely useless!” she retorted, proud of the knowledge she had accumulated while reading about the world while her mining lasers cycled.
“Noooooooooo! This cannot be! I shall leave this place and build my empire in an area where no one can close in on my colonies, a place where people like you never go, a place known as… NULL SEC!” he said triumphantly, confident that he had so easily outwitted the cowards yet again.

As he’s getting ready to leave he brutally incinerates everything in his colony, leaving no one alive or so he thinks.

Andy85 shifts his Maller towards the gates, swiftly warping through system after system of CONCORD controlled space, his anger builds, not only towards the fools of the 55th Legion of the Exploration and Mineral Extraction Assosciation but towards those who allow such insolence to stand, the puppet masters in their offices, the CONCORD. Finally he reaches the area he’s been headed for for the past 30 minutes of exciting travel, the infamous region of Placid. Surely no one will try to stop him in 0,0. He hits the warp button in his cockpit and reaches the first 0,0 gate. As he jumps through everything seems fine, nothing appears on his scanners, all of a sudden he realizes that absolutely nothing is showing on his overview, nothing at all. He realizes that time itself has frozen.
“What is this nonsense?” he says to himself in his cockpit, “Have I passed through an anomaly of some sort?”

All of a sudden he finds himself in a black tunnel with a blinding light at the end of it, he has never seen this tunnel before but has heard of it, and he realizes that he is actually dying.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GRID LOAD LAG!” he shouts as his pod is burnt burnt into ashes in the cold emptiness of space by a massive blob of null sec pirates so experienced that they’ve even installed their own private outhouse at the gate to allow non-stop control of their pipeline.

What Andy85 doesn’t know is that Estefan, his name given to him by the pile of ashes now sitting next to him, is still alive. When the maller burnt everything in the colony it missed little Estefan and as his mother’s ashes started drifting through the wind, he cried out in anguish and reached for the sky towards the Maller. In anger he squished the little dot between his index finger and thumb, and shouted “ANDY103, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!” Andy’s clones, Andy’s ships, he will have his revenge.