Never get angry with those preparing your food.

Remember; a kick in the ass is a step forward.

That 100 extra rounds of ammo you chose not to put in your cargo hold probably wouldn’t have made a difference in you getting podded anyway.

Fair is the place you go to ride the ferris wheel.

Free beer is always good beer.

Shut up woman, get on my horse.

I don’t care what anyone says; a fat chick with a nice rack still has a nice rack.

Good advice is good advice … until it turns out to be foolish.

If you take yourself seriously, nobody else will.

A concave ass shouldn’t even be possible.