Real men pod tank.

Most pilots overcompensate. I fly frigates.

Sweat is fat crying.

Regardless of all our technological advances, the greatest invention in all of human history is still the bra.

If there is a God, and a devil, I thank them for their tag team gift; redheads.

Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break their bones. They have over 200 of them.

Without beer it’s just two dudes sitting awkwardly in a bar.

Stop. Think. Speak.

Get over yourself.

If you didn’t see it with your own eyes, or didn’t hear it with your own ears, don’t invent it with your own mouth.