The Weight of Memory

The familiar burn of Quafe Ultra seared down Roc’s throat, chasing away the metallic taste that always lingered after a night of too many cigars and too little sleep. Outside his hole-in-the-wall establishment tucked into the forgotten corner of a station somewhere in low security space – the reinforced viewport displayed an asteroid belt being pelted by a micrometeorite shower, tiny impacts flashing like distant lightning against the dark canvas of space.

The bar itself was a symphony of contradictions – polished durasteel countertops juxtaposed with worn metal walls scarred by decades of use. The scent of exotic Caldari whiskeys mingled with Amarrian spiced rum, overlaid with the distinct smell of gun oil, reactor coolant, and the rich aroma of Brutor tribal tobacco that wafted from his cigar. In the background, the station’s recycling systems hummed a constant, mechanical lullaby – a sound that had become as familiar to Roc as his own heartbeat.

Roc Wieler ran calloused fingers over his facial tattoo, tracing the intricate Brutor pattern that stretched from his left temple down to his jawline. The ink had faded slightly over the decades, but the meaning remained – freedom earned through blood. He’d gotten it days after joining the uprising at thirteen, fresh from breaking his chains. Some nights, like tonight, he could still feel the phantom weight around his wrists.

“Hello, ladies,” he rumbled to the empty bar, his voice echoing against the worn metal walls. The phrase escaped without thought, a habit from a different life. He checked the time – 0300 station standard. Three hours until the local miners and mercenaries would begin trickling in.

His gaze drifted to a small patch mounted behind the bar – the stylized snowflake emblem of Stay Frosty partly hidden behind a row of bottles. Few knew of his honorary membership in the pirate corporation, and he preferred it that way. The association gave him access to information networks that most retired militia members could only dream of.

The private comm unit beneath the bar pinged. Only five people in New Eden had that frequency.

“Wieler,” he answered, muscles tensing instinctively. Despite his retirement, his forearms still rippled with the dense muscle of a seasoned powerlifter. His chest and shoulders remained massive, even as his midsection had softened slightly with age and a bartender’s lifestyle.

“Been a while, Colonel.” The voice belonged to Tarek, a former squad mate from his militia days.

“Not a Colonel anymore,” Roc replied, reaching for a cigar from the carved wooden box beside the ancient projectile casing he used as an ashtray. The tobacco was a special blend from the southern plains of Matar – earthy with hints of sweetness and spice. “What’s the emergency?”

“Mynxee’s ship went dark near Providence. Last transmission mentioned Angel Cartel activity. Somewhere in the H6-CX8 constellation, close to D61A-G.”

The cigar snapped between Roc’s fingers, tobacco spilling across the polished bar top. His heart hammered against his ribs – a sensation he hadn’t felt since his last firefight years ago.

“Details. Now.” His voice had transformed, the easy-going bartender replaced by the commanding officer who had led fleets through the blood-soaked battles of factional warfare.

“She was investigating some tech smuggling operation. Had intel the Angels were moving Sleeper artifacts. The region’s been even more unstable since those Triglavian incursions reshuffled everything. Her Jaguar’s transponder went offline eighteen hours ago.”

Roc’s mind raced through calculations. Providence. Angel Cartel. Mynxee. That fiery red dreadlocks that smelled of engine grease and wildflowers. The woman who had seen past his bravado to the wounded warrior beneath. The only one who understood why he had walked away from it all.

“Send me the coordinates,” he said finally. “And don’t tell anyone. Not even Stay Frosty.”

After ending the transmission, Roc moved with methodical precision. He activated the bar’s security protocols with a few taps on his datapad, the holographic sign at the entrance flickering to “Closed for Restocking.” Behind the false panel in his private quarters, the capsuleer implants at the base of his skull hummed to life for the first time in years, sending sharp pinpricks of pain down his spine as dormant neural pathways reawakened.

He pressed his palm against another hidden section of wall, and started his dormant capsule’s bootup sequence. He quickly stripped out of his clothes, as hungry tubing moved towards him from his aged capsule, eager to be united once again. He caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror – older, harder around the edges, softer around the middle but still impressively muscled from his daily weight training regimen, the lines around his eyes deeper. But his gaze held the same intensity it had when he’d commanded fleets.

Minutes later, Roc stood in the forgotten hangar bay adjacent to his establishment. Dust covers draped over the sleek form of the Ripsack. His fingers trembled slightly as he punched in some keys on a nearby console, the protective sheeting pulling away, revealing the scarred hull of the Rifter that had carried him through countless battles. Beside it sat his Republic Fleet Firetail – a reminder of his service, a gift he’d never wanted.

“Sorry for the neglect, old friend,” he murmured, running his hand along the Rifter’s hull. The ship’s systems activated sluggishly, like an old warrior rousing from deep slumber. Warning indicators flashed across the diagnostic panel – misaligned autocannons, outdated targeting systems, and depleted shield emitters. The ship was in no condition for combat. The Firetail, however, had been maintained by automated systems. It would have to do.

As the ship prepared for launch, consuming his capsule like its favorite fruit, Roc accessed an encrypted channel he hadn’t used in years. Contacts across four empires – favors owed, debts unpaid. Information was the most valuable commodity in New Eden, and Roc had amassed a fortune.

“One last time,” he whispered to himself as the hangar doors groaned open, revealing the vast emptiness of space. The Firetail’s micro warp drive ignited with a roar that vibrated through his bones, its dual 200mm autocannons spinning up with a satisfying whir as the targeting systems came online.

The capsule fluid flooded around him, invading his lungs with familiar, suffocating pressure. The momentary panic – a primal fear that never fully disappeared no matter how many times he’d done this – gave way to a rush of sensory expansion as his implants fully engaged. His consciousness merged with the ship, the neural interface flooding his mind with data – radiation levels, gravitational anomalies, electromagnetic readings. Through the Firetail’s sensors, Roc felt the universe expand around him – stars, stations, gates, and the distant signatures of other vessels. The targeting systems highlighted a dozen potential threats in the vicinity, but none posed an immediate danger.

Providence was Angel Cartel territory – dangerous even for a capsuleer. But Roc Wieler had survived slavery, rebellion, and the meat grinder of factional warfare. He had carried comrades from cracked pods while their blood soaked his uniform. He had executed Amarr slavers with his bare hands.

For Mynxee, he would face worse.

“There are no new battles,” Roc muttered to himself as the ship aligned toward the first jump gate, its navigation system plotting the fastest route through the D61A-G system. “Just the same old ones with different ships.”

And this time, he wasn’t fighting for a flag, a faction, or even freedom. He was fighting for the only thing that had ever truly mattered.

The Colonel and the Pirate Part 2

Author’s note: Please read Mynxee’s The Pirate & The Colonel chapter before continuing.

DAL VI – MOON 1
REPUBLIC JUSTICE DEPARMENT TRIBUN
AL

“We’re sorry, Colonel, but we need you to come with us.” the first security escort said as the two of them stood inside of my quarters, having bypassed my security lock. They wore the uniforms and riot gear of TLF Military Police, which meant something had gone wrong, horribly wrong, and I was implicated.

I hadn’t slept a wink that night, and was still working on my rescue plan for Mynxee when they had arrived early in the morning. I wasn’t at my best physically or emotionally, being sleep deprived and wrought with distress over the entire situation.

“May I at least inquire as to why?” I asked politely, yet firmly, slowly reaching to unclip the holster on my sidearm furthest away from their view. I wasn’t about to shoot an MP, but I wasn’t going to go anywhere until someone started giving me answers.

Shakor wouldn’t respond to any of my meeting requests or comm messages. None of my own staff involved on the case would give me any information, even off the record, not even that Halwick kid I had taken under my wing not so long ago. I couldn’t fault any of them for it, duty was duty, and in a way I was proud of their resolve to follow orders, but my mind was set, and I was as stubborn as they came.

I needed to rescue her. I needed to show her I loved her. If that meant leaving this life behind, then so be it; she was worth it. The actions of my superiors in the last twenty four hours had shown me just how valued any one person truly was, regardless of their prior contributions to the cause. We were all just disposable pawns, played when needed, removed from the game board when not.

I was nobody’s pawn.

“Sir, please. Remove your sidearms slowly and place them on the floor.” The second escort said, seeing what I was attempting. I slowly removed my pistols and placed them on the floor, the first escort having his hand on his stun baton while cautiously approaching me. They were treating me like they would any other criminal. It was infuriating.

I stood suddenly, pushing my shoulders back broadly, making them aware of my full presence. They both started for a moment, quickly regaining their composure, one grabbing my wrists and securing binders on me, the second reading me the charges against me.

“Colonel Roc Wieler, you are hereby charged with treason of the highest degree against the Tribal Liberation Force and against the Minmatar Republic. You are also charged with murder in the second degree for the death of Spear Lieutenant Daul Halwick.”

The words hit me like a frigate to the face. Daul was dead? How was that even possible? I had seen him only two days prior. And treason against the Republic? I would never do such a thing. What the hell was going on?

I was thankful that I hadn’t made a scene, or engaged the MPs directly in my quarters; whatever was going on, that would certainly have made things worse for me.

With one MP on each arm, I was walked out of my room during the morning rush hour at Dal station. My sunglasses were removed and confiscated, and I felt completely exposed and vulnerable.

A crowd of pedestrians quickly gathered, gossip spreading like rampant wildfire amongst them as I was escorted into a nearby hovercart, and driven away down the esplanade, strangers staring and judging me the entire way. I hung my head low, feeling the burning shame inflicted upon me by them, but knowing I had done nothing wrong and would eventually be exonerated.

“Goddammit!” Maleatu Shakor, Sanmatar of the Republic screamed at me, spittle dripping from his mouth. His face was crimson with an anger I had never seen in him before, veins viciously pulsating in his forehead.

I was seated in a small interrogation room on a metal chair bolted to the concrete floor. A single recessed light fixture illuminated us from above. The two MPs stood on either side of me, with two more heavily armed MPs guarding the door, as well as one more watching from behind a secured mirror panel. My legs had been secured to ankle clamps on the chair, in addition to the binders still secured at my wrists.

“Just talk to me! Tell me why you did it!” Shakor said. “Was it money? Was it power? Did I not mentor you? Did I not give you every opportunity you wanted? Why did you do this?!” More spittle flew from his mouth.

“Talk to you?” I replied, my own anger threatening to make my situation worse. “You mean, like you’ve been talking to me the last few days? If you hadn’t kept me in the dark on this entire operation I could’ve helped prevent this tragedy. If you had…” I was cut off mid-sentence by a stinging slap from the Sanmatar.

“You forget your place, Colonel.” Shakor said, rubbing his hand from the force of his blow. I could feel my cheek swelling, knowing there would be a fine bruise there. Even though he was the most powerful politician in the Republic, the man was an accomplished warrior first, and those were skills you never forgot.

“I don’t answer to you.” Maleatu said, poking his finger into my chest. “You answer to me. Do you get that? Do you understand that?” He repeatedly poked me. “You’ve been spoiled with privilege.” he added.

“You had such potential,” he continued on, turning and walking away from me. “You had so much promise. I was so blinded, forgive the pun, by what I saw in you. You could’ve been a great leader, a wonderful politician. Don’t you see I was grooming you to be the next Sanmatar?”

I felt like a child who had disappointed his father one too many times, had crossed a line where unconditional love no longer applied. I was being disowned by my mentor, but moreso, by the Sanmatar of the Republic. The worst feeling in all of this was that I hadn’t been part of any of the things I stood accused of.

“So let me ask you once again, Colonel Wieler; why did you do it? Was it love? Did you love her? Loved her enough to murder one of your own men? You are a disgrace to the uniform; a disgrace to me.”

“Sanmatar, please, as I’ve said every time I’ve been asked, I had nothing to do with this.” My anger had been replaced with fear. Not fear for the ramifications to the Republic or fear of how the press would feast on this; it had been repeatedly hammered into my dense skull lately that I simply wasn’t that important in the grand scheme of things. It was a fear of failure. I had worked so hard at my career, tirelessly put in effort towards making my life successful in the ways that mattered most: loyalty, honesty, integrity, morality, and now I was being perceived much in the same way I was when held in captivity by the Amarr as a child.

I was a dog.

The Sanmatar was visibly trembling with thinly held rage.

He stormed towards me, his hand raised, his mouth open, and I prepared for another blow. But then he stopped, holding the pose for a moment. He closed his mouth, lowered his hand, and spoke to me gently. His words cut me open more than any physical attack he could’ve made.

“You disappoint me, son.” was all he said, then turned and left the room.

There was no room for self-pity. A good man had died. That is what mattered.

I’m sorry, Daul. I thought to myself. You deserved better, kid.

I had gone over possible scenarios in my mind as to what had could’ve gone down, and came up with countless scenarios, each vastly different from the other.

There were only two themes in common amongst them:

  1. Mynxee was no longer in custody
  2. She had murdered Daul Halwick

I didn’t know how, or why, and I didn’t honestly believe she was capable of doing something so cold blooded, but no matter how it happened, she was responsible for his death. His blood was on her hands… and mine for having ever been so naively taken in by her in the first place.

I nearly laughed out loud at my latest self realization; how quickly passionate and fierce love could transform into vengeful and unrelenting hate. Mynxee had finally made it clear what her position was regarding us, and it suited me just fine.

I swore to myself that one day, no matter where or how it happened, I would hold Mynxee accountable for her actions. There would be no secured return to the Republic for her. There would be no trial; no incarceration.

There was going to be hell to pay. Hell. To. Pay.

Missed Opportunity

“From mining?” I repeated with incredulity.

“Yeah man! We pulled in just over a billion isk in two hours! It was insane!” Nathan Carver said through our secured comm excitedly.

Nathan had been living in wormhole space for months, only recently venturing out on his own solo expeditions. We had tried once together to find some profit in wormhole space, but it wasn’t in the cards that day.

He sent me a comm, late in the evening, telling me how himself and three miners went into wormhole space, and while he engaged the Sleepers, they emptied the gas clouds.

“I made 70 million in salvage alone. I’m telling you, you need to get out here with me and do this. It’s like stamping your own isk.” Nathan said, his energy level increasing. “I took my Drake, tanked it easily. Man, still can’t get over how much isk we made.”

“And you didn’t comm me earlier because?” I asked playfully, but with just enough inflection as to seem genuinely hurt.

“We were in Caldari high sec.” Nathan replied evenly. “I assumed you wouldn’t have been interested, but if I was wrong, next time I can just …”

“No, no, that’s fine.” I interrupted. “Good call on your end. I’m not exactly a welcomed guest by the State.”

“So after I finished up with the Sleepers, I went and got my Badger. The value of my hold filled with Fullerite was easily 250 mil, but then we took it to a POS and the miners/industrialists refined into some other even more valuable component. So yeah, crazy isk for minimal effort. I totally wish you had been here.” Nathan said.

“You know, Nate.” I began. “When you get all excited like this, you sound like a teenaged boy in heat over some skirt. It’s funny really.”

“Hahaha, well, you sound like that all the time; at least I have an excuse.” Nathan replied.

I have to confess he did have me interested in the profitability, but mining? Please. I had never mined in my life. There were civilians with far more expertise in that field than me. Granted, they wouldn’t ever have access to wormhole mining in their lifetime, but still.

“What kind of mining did you say it was again?” I asked, realizing my mistake as soon as the words left my mouth.

“Gas harvesting!” Nathan replied even more excitedly than before. “I could show you how to do it with about three days of training. Then it’s just isk lining our pockets.”

“Ugh. I can see it now, ‘Colonel Roc Wieler, Miner of the Republic.’ It just has that majestic ring to it.” I said sarcastically.

“Oh get over yourself. Who cares how you get rich so long as you get rich? You’re not much of a gambler, you’re not out there pirating, your not one of those ninja salvagers living off of other people’s hard work, you’re a Colonel in the freaking military. I’m sure that pays you oh so well.” Nathan said, the hints of a lecture forming.

“Alright, alright. I’ll think about it.” I said. “But I swear if you tell anyone that I was mining, I will hunt you down and kill you a hundred times over.”

“Hahaha. Fair enough.” Nathan replied, content just to have won a victory.

I couldn’t believe it. I was actually considering mining. I felt so very dirty.