“We’re not going to last much longer.” T’jallak said, his voice sounding of exhaustion. I stopped my forward crawl through the wilderness to look back at the older man. We were all emanciated, bare to our bones, having been on the run for two weeks now. Looking at him was like looking at any of us; clothing tattered and filthy, skin cut, bruised and dirty, hair and beards growing wildly. He was right about our situation. Two of us had already died from hunger, a third when we were happened upon by our Amarr masters. But we had come this far, and I wasn’t about to give up on our chance for freedom just yet. Besides, I didn’t know if I could survive another ‘re-education’ session. This had been my fourth attempt to escape unsuccessfully.

“We’ll make it, T’jallak.” I said, my own voice hoarse, dry, cracking. “Lay here. I’ll get us something to eat.” I turned to see the older man had already stopped to rest, his eyes closed. Instinctively, I checked his pulse. He was still alive. I stole a quick glance around to make sure he was sufficiently covered from wandering eyes, then set about finding us some food.

Thirty minutes later I returned. I didn’t have the gear to hunt large game, or anything that could outrun or outmaneuver me for that matter; so I had done what I could.

I had found some wild tomatoes, not quite ripened, but hopefully edible, surrounded by hornworms. I hoped they hadn’t laid their eggs inside of the ones I had picked, as their colony appeared to be feasting on the tomato patch. Still, it was food, and it was the best I could do.

I struck up a small fire, and did the best I could with them, offering the first bit to T’jallak, whom hadn’t stirred this entire time.

“T’jallak,” I said, a little louder than I wanted to, “Old man, wake up.” I said, poking at him with my hand. He didn’t move. Instinctively, I checked his pulse once again. The old man had died.

—

Fried Green Tomato Hornworms

What does a tomato hornworm taste like? Well, what would you taste like if you’d been stuffing yourself solely with tomato leaves for the better part of a month? Hornworms are ridiculously chlorophyll-rich. They taste great with just about any summer vegetable, but my favorite recipe draws inspiration from the cuisine of the Whistle Stop Cafe, that fictitious Alabama diner made famous by novelist Fanny Flagg.

“You’ll think you died and gone to heaven,” boasts Flagg of her recipe. To which I add, “If you do go to heaven, ask the Powers That Be to keep the tomato hornworms out of my vegetable patch.”

INGREDIENTS

• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 16 tomato hornworms
• 4 medium green tomatoes, sliced into 1/4-inch rounds
• Salt and pepper to taste
• White cornmeal

METHOD:

1. In a large skillet or wok, heat the oil. Then lightly fry the hornworms, about 4 minutes, taking care not to rupture the cuticles of each insect under high heat.
2. Remove with a slotted spoon and set aside.
3. Season tomato rounds with salt and pepper, then coat with cornmeal on both sides.
4. In a large skillet, fry tomatoes until lightly browned on both sides.
5. Top each round with 2 fried tomato hornworms.
6. Garnish the paired hornworms with a single basil leaf.

Yields 4 servings. Mmmmmhmmmmm good!

Sorry for the delay in posting this morning. I decided to try Sard’s Breakfast Burritos, and just spent the last 40 minutes on the crapper. Enjoy!

Sard’s Breakfast Burritos

This is essentially your classic breakfast inside a burrito.  Eat the excess with a fork until the food can be wrapped securely; finish the remainder as a burrito.  This is a very basic recipe: I often add bacon, bell pepper, tomato, mushrooms & whatever else strikes my fancy that’s idling in the fridge.  Ketchup, salsa verde & hot sauce make for a great combination topping if there isn’t any red salsa or pico de gallo available.

This is the serving size for one individual.  Scale the portions up for additional diners.

From Sard: “I survived off of these in the academy.  A hearty meal that’s quick to make and requires little cleaning once finished.  Also great for clearing out maturing items in the fridge; eggs & potatoes are receptive to just about any additions to the party.”

INGREDIENTS:

• One medium sized russet potato, peeled & chopped
• 3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• Two eggs
• 2 Tbsp milk or water
• 1/4 cup chopped yellow onion
• One large (10″diameter) tortilla
• 1 Tbsp butter
• Salt, pepper & garlic powder to taste

METHOD

1. After initial prep, heat a large skillet over medium high heat.  Melt the butter, making sure to gyrate the pan to distribute butter over the surface of the pan.  Reduce heat to just over medium; add potatoes, cover with a lid and allow to fry for 4-5 minutes, or until potatoes become a golden brown on the bottom side.
2. Flip the potatoes & add the chopped onion.  Fry for an additional 2-3 minutes, or until the potatoes are soft.  While waiting, whisk the eggs together, adding milk/water, salt, pepper & garlic powder to the egg mixture while whisking.  When potatoes are done, add the egg mixture on top, gyrating the pan to distribute egg over the potatoes.
3. If you own an iron plate for heating tortillas, start heating it now.
4. Wait 20-30 seconds for the eggs to partially set, then start breaking the pan mixture up.  This is the same as an egg scramble, so break up the egg enough so that it forms into bite sized clumps; the clumps should be fork-able.  Once the egg is very close to finishing (90% cooked, remainder wet), take the pan off the burner & allow to cook from residual heat.
5. Using an iron pan, or directly over a burner (set to medium heat) cook the tortillas.  To tell if a tortilla is done on a side, wait for when the edges begin to fall around the plate/burn guards.  Once this occurs, flip the tortilla, wait 8-10 seconds, then remove.  There should be only light burn marks on either side of the tortilla.
6. Lay the tortilla on a dinner plate, and move the potato-egg mixture on top of the tortilla.  Allow the diners to apply the cheese & other condiments at their leisure.

My birthday last year found me deep in the territories of the Angel Cartel, a notorious pirate gang, doing recon for the militia. When you’re immortal, birthdays don’t really matter much; at times, nothing seems to matter much.

Still, my crew wanted to mark the occasion, regardless of my sour mood. To that end, they surprised me with the following:

Angel Cartel Cake

INGREDIENTS

• 12 eggs
• 1 1/4 cups confectioner’s sugar
• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon almond extract
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup Angel Cartel zest

METHOD

1. Separate eggs; discard yolks or refrigerate for another use.
2. Measure egg whites, adding or removing whites as needed to equal 1-1/2 cups.
3. Place in a mixing bowl; let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, sift confectioners’ sugar and flour together three times; set aside.
5. Add cream of tartar, extracts and salt to egg whites; beat on high speed.
6. Gradually add sugar, beating until sugar is dissolved and stiff peaks form.
7. Fold in flour mixture, 1/4 cup at a time.
8. Gently spoon into an ungreased 10-in. tube pan.
9. Cut through batter with a knife to remove air pockets.
10. Bake at 350 degrees F for 40-45 minutes or until cake springs back when lightly touched.
11. Immediately invert pan; cool completely before removing cake from pan.

I guess it turned out to be an enjoyable birthday after all. Hope you enjoy the cake as much as I did. What exactly is Angel Cartel zest anyway?

Brutor Style Wings

INGREDIENTS

• 3 pounds chicken wings, tips removed if desired
• 6 whole serrano chili peppers
• 10 whole jalapeno peppers
• 1 red bell pepper
• 1 small bottle hot sauce (recommended: Tabasco)
• 1/2 bottle Worcestershire sauce
• 4 tablespoons cayenne pepper
• 1 cup sriracha hot pepper sauce
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 tablespoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup red wine vinegar
• 1 bottle beer

METHOD

1. In blender, puree all ingredients, being very careful of the hot peppers.
2. Place chicken wings in a bowl and pour mixture on top, marinate wings overnight.
3. Heat Dutch oven with fry oil at 350 degrees F.
4. Remove wings from bowl and gently place them in the hot oil.
5. Fry wings until golden brown and crisp about 8 to10 minutes.
6. Meanwhile, take the leftover marinade and place in a small saucepan on stove and bring to a hard boil.
7. After the sauce is heated throughout, put sauce in large bowl, add wings and toss until coated.

Brutor and chicken wings; it’s as natural as pie and ice cream. From childhood, Brutor everywhere have enjoyed this common recipe.

I always get a laugh from my crews and corpmates when I bring this child’s dish to get togethers. Apparently they find Brutor style wings spicy. I remind them to be thankful that I didn’t bring a man’s meal for them to try.

Goes well with:

Beer, though the non Brutor scream for lots of water.

Spicy Amarr Sausage

PREPARTION TIME:  less than 30 mins

COOKING TIME: 10 to 30 mins  

INGREDIENTS

• 4 fresh Amarr “sausages”
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 red onion, cut into wedges
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• 440g/14¾oz can chopped tomatoes
• 1 red pepper cut into strips
• ½ tsp chilli flakes
• 1 tsp sugar
• 2 tbsp oregano
• 2 tbsp chopped parsley
• 300g/10½oz whole wheat fusilli

METHOD

1. Acquire sausages.
2. Place a medium non-stick pan over a high heat and brown the sausages in one tablespoon of olive oil.
3. Set browned sausages to one side.
4. Reduce the heat to a medium flame and sweat the onions and garlic in the remaining oil for two minutes.
5. Add the tomatoes, red pepper, chilli, sugar, oregano and sausages to the pan.
6. Simmer covered until the red peppers soften (for approximately 10 minutes).
7. Cook the fusilli until al dente (with a bite) according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
8. Drain well and place into two bowls with the sauce.
9. Scatter chopped parsley over the top to serve.

I’ll never forget the first time we made this dish. We had been flying a covert fleet of Rapiers, Hounds, and Cheetahs for about four months, and supplies were running out. Morale was low; the crews were grumbling. 

We happened across a small, unprepared Amarr squad and made quick work of them, filling our holds with their tech and corpses. I remember scanning the inventory list of acquired goods with my Inventory & Acquisitions Officer, and whistled when I saw the corpse total. He suggested jokingly “Would make one helluva sausage fest.” I arched my eyebrow at him.

We’ve never spoken of this since.

Also, as a good side dish…

“Meatball” Soup

PREPARTION TIME:  less than 30 mins

COOKING TIME: 40 mins

INGREDIENTS

• 3/4 pound Amarr “meat balls” 
• 1 small onion minced 
• 1 teaspoon dillweed 
• 2 eggs 
• 1 clove garlic, crushed 
• 1 tsp salt 
• 1/4 tsp black pepper 
• flour 
• 6 cups beef broth 
• 1/3 cup uncooked long grain rice 
• juice of 1/2 lemon 
• 2 tablespoons fresh dill (less if using dried) 

METHOD

1. Combine beef, onion, dillweed, 1 egg, garlic, salt and pepper in a large bowl. 
2. Mix to combine ingredients thoroughly. Shape into small balls and dredge lightly in the flour. Set aside, heat the broth to boiling.
3. Drop the meatballs in. 
4. Add the rice. 
5. Lower the heat and cook about 35 minutes. 
6. Add lemon juice and additional dill.

You can serve with a dollop of yogurt on top if you like. 

Goes well with:

Warp Tunnel

INGREDIENTS

• 2 cl Gin
• 1 cl Galliano
• Sprite
• 1 cl Passoã

METHOD

Pour gin and galliano in a Highballs Glass filled with ice cubes. Fill up with Sprite and top up with the Passoã.

Foreward from the Author

Thank you for taking the time to pick up this book. I guarantee you that within these pages you will find new insight into some of the finer dining fare that New Eden has to offer. Ok, so I couldn’t keep a straight face while saying that.

Truth is, this book isn’t about fine dining. While it can be said that each of these handpicked recipes has been a staple in my life, and the lives of my various crews, they are not what any Connoisseur would request from a fancy Gallente Bistro.

I am a soldier. I am a Colonel for the Minmatar Republic. Moreso, I am a capsuleer. Our standard menu? Fleet rations and nutrient tubes, and while it meets the body’s needs, it leaves a lot in the way of taste and enjoyment.

This is a collection of “in the field” recipes, things that I have created and experimented with during my adventures. Word of mouth spread, and pretty soon fellow soldiers of the Republic were pressuring me to author a cookbook.

So here it is.

Bon appetit.

Roc Wieler