Well it took me a while to semi-organize my thoughts from the EVE Fanfest 2015 presentation and here they are, in their typical Rambling format. Thank you again for all the positive feedback I’ve received regarding this talk. I had a great time doing it and if I’ve helped one person on their journey to awesome then I’ve succeeded in my own personal mandate of leaving every life I interact with better off than when I found it.
MORE AWESOME THAN YOU EVER KNEW
Being awesome, quite literally, means to elicit awe. Awe is not something people express much these days accurately. It’s overused, trivialized, and has lost its import. So to be truly awesome, you must find a way to inspire this rare and genuine reaction. There are a lot of ways to be awesome, so don’t treat what you are about to read as the only way to be awesome. Being awesome is being redefined each and every day. Maybe you can be the person who helps redefine it.
Using a Talent to inspire awe
- Develop a talent. Whatever your talent is, pursue it. People who become “awesome” at what they do invest a lot of time into getting there. Who ever said that being awesome was easy?While you’re practicing your talent, find ways to motivate yourself. Break your goal down into small chunks. Reward yourself with free time, a snack, or some time playing EVE after you’ve achieved what you wanted to achieve.
- Show off your talent. You could be the most amazing dancer or writer in the world, but you won’t inspire awe in people if they never see your talent. Being awesome, by definition, means putting yourself out there, no matter how scary that is. However, remember not to show off too much, like bragging for instance, for people might think you’re just arrogant. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is not.Once in a blue moon people will start developing a talent and have instant success. For the rest of us, it usually takes a while for that talent to develop. So start small. Work yourself up to greatness.t the same time, think of the “biggest stage” your talent can be showcased in. Magicians want to pack auditoriums in Vegas. Singers want to have a #1 Billboard single. Soccer players want to win a World Cup. Don’t be afraid to dream big when practicing your talent. That’s part of what keeps you going.
- Get feedback. Whether it’s from a coach, a parent, or advisors you trust, getting advice on what you can do to get better at your talent is absolutely essential. You need to rely on other people to help you out. You can’t do everything by yourself.Always ask other experts in related fields how you can get better. Your desire to be awesome is directly related to your willingness to develop your talent into the best it can be. Ask other magicians for help; reach out to singers for techniques; attend soccer camps to develop your skills.
- Have a mentor. A mentor is someone who is experienced in your field and willing to give you advice and help with the direction you want to take your talent. Having a mentor is huge for people who want to be awesome because of a talent; a mentor will help them process feedback, get new opportunities to show off talent, and network with other people who might continue to help them out.Reach out to other people who might act as a mentor. You can say something as simple as “I was hoping I could get some advice from the world’s best flutist about the flute solo in Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 2. Any help would be greatly appreciated!”Understand what other people get out of being a mentor. A mentor isn’t a one-sided relationship, the master just showing the pupil how to get things done. The mentor gets value and happiness out of knowing that they helped you succeed, that they helped mold you into a more dedicated, awesome individual. That’s huge!
Show your mentor respect. You might think that your mentor’s advice is a little off the mark, but try it before you dismiss it. There’s a reason they are an expert and you aren’t. Respect them by taking their advice very seriously.
- Learn from your failures. It’s a given that when developing a talent, you’re going to fail every so often. If you didn’t fail, you wouldn’t be human. Many people give up when they fail. If you want to be awesome, what you’ll have to do is get right back up, shake it off, and learn from your mistakes, not let them keep you down.Get your ego out of the picture. Not only will this help you shake off your mistakes more easily, it will help you develop a more selfless, humble attitude. If you didn’t already know it, most people think people who exhibit greatness but still manage to be humble are “especially awesome”.
USING YOUR PERSONALITY TO INSPIRE AWE
- Be funny. All but the most hardened cynics like someone who can make them smile and laugh. That’s why being funny is a huge part of using your personality to be awesome. The good and the bad part about comedy is that there’s no one way to do it. That means that you can develop your own sense of what’s funny by being totally original, but it also means that there’s not really a “how-to” manual for being funny.Be funny with words. Puns and wordplay are a great way to be awesomely funny because we use words all the time.Use physical comedy to get laughter. Physical comedy can include impressions of other people, learning how to mime, or slapstick comedy. Pick one, experiment with it, and try incorporating it into your funny routine.
Tell great stories. We think people who tell great, comedic stories are funny because we live for stories. Stories make us feel human, and so someone who can tell a great tale delights us. Learn the basics of storytelling to feel even more awesome than you already are.
- Be adventurous. Being adventurous means turning everyday opportunities into excuses to find adventure. Remember, you don’t need to be Roc Wieler to be adventurous; you just need to be willing to take the road less travelled every once in a while.Travel to new, interesting places. Traveling doesn’t need to mean dropping lots of money or taking lots of time. Try going some place close you’ve never been. You’ll learn about new places, have a new notch under your belt, and will get a chance to convince the locals there how awesome you can be.Learn about unexpected things. Being adventurous can also mean taking a journey of the mind. Now, that sounds cheesy, but it’s absolutely true. The most awesome people in the world travel to new, exciting, distant places in their minds as well as on their feet.
Don’t be afraid to break away from the pack if it’s what you want to do. Sometimes, an awesome person will be adventurous by following their heart and set out on their own, against the advice of other people. Be adventurous by doing what you want to do, not what other people want you to do.
- Unlock your inner awesome. The most awesome people aren’t even aware of their awesomeness. They just are, without thinking about it too much. The awesomeness must come from a place within you. You can never force it out.Try not to focus on “being awesome.” Instead, focus on the things that will make you awesome, like developing a way to convert certain recyclables into bio-diesel, or learning how to play pool with hockey pucks on ice. That way, people will be overwhelmed by your awesomeness before they have time to question it.
- Express your awesome traits through style. Develop a style that is entirely your own. Don’t mimic a style that you think is hip; make your own style hip by believing completely in it and never questioning what other people say about it.Perhaps have a trade-mark accessory by which everyone will recognize you as soon as they see it. Use it, but don’t abuse it. Shake off any criticism you may get from other people (they’re probably jealous or insecure) and wear it with confidence.Sometimes, having no style is as much of a statement. Some people genuinely don’t care about fashion, clothes, or accessories. Lots of people celebrate that because those people are usually absorbed in other things. If you’re this kind of person, be comfortable with your lack of style. Don’t judge others for spending more time on clothing.
- Have a fun personality. Realize that your personality says more about you as a person that your looks or appearance, although those can be important. Be nice, understanding, friendly, giving, and charming (both inside and out). People don’t like a mean, selfish, unfriendly, boring person.
Some traits that people generally think of as “awesome”:
- Dedication/faithfulness. You are supremely dedicated to whatever you start, and are faithful to a fault.
- Reliability. You are someone who can always be depended on when people need you, for whatever reason.
- Kindness/generosity. You are willing to literally give the shirt off your back if you can afford to, and if it means that it will make someone else happy.
- Ambition. Although your goals are lofty, you would never step over someone to achieve them.
- Perspective. You can tell the forest from the trees; you know that the simple things in life — friends, family, love, health — are too often the most overlooked.
- Principle. You know what you believe in, and you have good reasons for holding those beliefs.
INSPIRING AWE THROUGH GIVING
- Be a role model. You can be a role model in so many different ways. Consider this, however: if you do decide to help out kids, be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Helping kids just because you want to be viewed as awesome is a little bit like going on a diet because you want people to like you, not because you want to be healthy.Volunteer as a teacher. Teach kids how to read, how to perform basic math, or how to value exercise. Hold onto your patience and remember that not every kid learns material the same way!Be a mentor to a kid. In the same way that you might have needed a mentor, kids need mentors, too. They want reliable information about relationships, drugs, careers, and life. You can be that source of guidance for a child you take a liking to.
Carve out time just to hang out. If you’re happy, positive, responsible, and mature, kids will be happy just to hang out with you. You won’t have to do much to be awesome in their eyes. Lend them a bit of your time and you may find that simply hanging out can be lots of fun.
- Get involved in politics. How often do we complain about politics? All the time. How often do we do anything about it? Not very much. Running for office is a great way to make a difference in your community by testing your political chops. Plus, who can say that they actually ran for office? That’s pretty awesome!If you’re younger, think about getting involved in student government. It may not have the reach that municipal, state, or federal government has, but it’s just as important to the people around you. You’ll learn a whole lot more about yourself the more you participate.
- Help people less privileged than you. There’s no legal responsibility to be charitable, but there might be a moral responsibility. If you were helped out by someone on your life journey, or if you just believe in the principle, think about paying it forward. Help the less advantaged find their way.Get connected through your local religious or charity group. If you’re part of a community of believers, ask members of your church if they know how you might get involved in charity work. Often, your church will have programs or information about how normal people can best help.Consider making a microloan. A microloan is a small amount of money ($20, for example) that you lend out to other people through a lending institution. The people who get the loan are usually from very poor countries; they use the money to build hospitals, schools, generators, or simply to farm. After they have used the loan, you get the money back. It’s a great way to make a difference around the world.
Do random acts of kindness. Hold the door open for a person struggling to make the bus; give a homeless person the rest of your take-out lunch; tell your colleague how much you value their hard work. These small acts of kindness take almost no energy or resources to complete, and can have a huge impact.
- Get involved in a cause that you believe in. What do you believe in? Do you believe in animal rights? Get involved in PETA or a similar organization. Do you believe in fighting global warming? Get involved in green energy solutions. Do you believe in basic financial literacy? Get involved in guerrilla economics. Whatever it is you believe in, being awesome is all about showing the world what makes you tick.
- Be optimistic. If you start realizing life is good, then you’re that much closer to being awesome. Try thinking of how much worse life could be to help you appreciate what you have. Also realize that if you are having hard times right now, that things are going to get better, especially if you start feeling optimistic about your life. Being optimistic is easy!
- Find more things to laugh about. Enjoying comedy will help you see life in a more humorous manner, which is awesome.
- Try to find your own way of doing things. It will work out for you.
- Start discovering what you love.
- Work to try to create the awesome things you love. People will know instinctively that someone who creates things is awesome.
- Listen to your favourite music and don’t be afraid to rock out to it. And if you do it in public, some might think you’re crazy, but there’s also the possibility that others will think you’re awesome for dancing to the beat of your own drum rather than the masses.
- Don’t be afraid of what other people think. There are seven billion people on the planet so there is no way that you can get along or please everyone. Instead concentrate on pleasing you first then your loved ones.
- Tell everyone that you are awesome. Don’t go on about yourself, just have that soft spoken confidence that lets people know what you’re saying is absolute truth. Confidence is crucial to being awesome, so always believe in yourself, even if you aren’t, but you are, so do tell everyone that you are awesome. What makes you awesome will make people realize how awesome you really are. Again, don’t be boastful about it, or put down others as if you are more awesome than they are.
- Make a list of the qualities you think are awesome in others. Ask yourself why you think these things are awesome. Is it something you can attain in yourself? If not, is there something different you could do?
- Suit up! Find your fashion sense.
- If you aren’t the best looking guy out there, develop your sense of humour. People love jokes, especially coming from an ugly dude. Brightens up everyone’s day.
- Keep trying! Worst thing that can happen to you while you try to be awesome is to get tired and give up. Just remember being optimistic: If you want, you can do it!
- Be a leader, not a follower.
- Own Life – What does that mean to own life? To own life means that you call the shots. Nobody tells you how it is, they ask you how it is, and if it isn’t, you tell them how it’s going to be. Once you build the confidence to be awesome, you will find yourself walking into every room as if you own it. You won’t wait for the bartender to ask what you want, you will look them in the eye and tell them exactly what you want with a swagger that demands it with mutual respect. Remember, people only respect people that intimidate them, or respect them back, and you want the latter. You earn or lose a person’s respect the first time you speak with them, so head up, choose your words wisely, look them in the face, and have it. If you say something stupid or uneducated, then go home, stand in the corner, and think about what you’ve done.
- Don’t be a Dolt – Don’t belittle others. Don’t outdo everyone every time they speak. Learn to listen. Enjoy the stories that each of us has to over. Pay attention. Speak less.
- Language – Even if you don’t consider yourself intelligent, you can make people think you are smarter beyond your years, that is, if you’re lazy ass could take the time to learn 1 new word per day. There is nothing that makes a person appear more intelligent, confident, impressive, intimidating, and savvy, than someone with an accomplished level of speaking and a solid command of their own language. Take a minute every day and learn a new word, and then make it your goal that day to use that new word, before you know it, you’ll say something smarter than you ever thought would have come out of your own putrid mouth. Instead of saying, “Wow, which sounds like you could make a lot of money doing something like that”, you would say, “Interesting, that sounds like a lucrative venture”. Read those both back to yourself and picture what the person saying each statement looks like. That’s right, if you want to look awesome, you need to be awesome, and if you want to be awesome, you need the ability to speak awesome. Also, the opposite is true. If you curse every other word, you look less intelligent and therefore less awesome. Or learn a new language, like Spanish or German.
- Raise your standards – Raise your standards, what does that mean to you? First off, cleanliness. Cleanliness is such an important aspect of being awesome that I can’t even begin to describe it. There are so many aspects of cleanliness and you must master each of these pigpen. You must live in a clean environment, this goes from the bathroom, to the kitchen, to the floors, to the closets, to the kitchen, to the outside of your domain, to your car, to under your armpit, and to the inside of your grotesque mouth. Mouthwash, soap, bleach, cleaners, candles, air fresheners, deodorant, cologne/perfume, and I can go on. No person should ever have to smell your stinky house, your smelly McDonalds invested car, your hot rotting mouth, or worse. Be hygienic about every aspect of your life. People think that they brush their teeth twice a day, they’re good. That’s a BIG negative. Here’s how an awesome mouth, gets to be so awesome.
- Go to the dentist regularly, plaque stinks, and so do rotting teeth. Get it done.
- Brush your teeth more than once a day, pig.
- Floss after every meal that you can possibly floss after. I don’t expect you to do this on a date, but if it’s possible, do it.
- Mouthwash. You can’t possible clean your entire mouth with a toothbrush, so finish the job so you and the rest of your cronies will finally quit breathing hot garbage in my general direction.
- Now that seems like a lot, and that’s simply your mouth. You need cleanliness to this detail in all aspects of your life. It sucks, but is necessary, and will ultimately make you a healthier, more enviable person.
- After you start to raise your standards, you’ll realize that your house sucks, your car sucks, the places you dine suck, and your job sucks. Once you realize that you want bigger and better things out of life is the moment you begin to actually own life. Own life? That’s sounds familiar now does it?
- Be hilarious – Yes, I’m mentioning it twice. Everyone has their own humour, and can be uniquely comedic in their own right, but you have to find yours. The reality is that people enjoy being around funny, witty people. You can’t really be witty, unless you are funny, and you can’t really be funny, unless you are witty. When you find your humour, you will know it on the faces of people around you, and they will light up when they see you, knowing that laughs are shortly behind. This is extremely important in the work place, and even more so on the dating scene. A funny ugly man has more of a shot getting the girl than a good looking witless man. It’s just a plain fact of life. People enjoy other people who make them laugh, and when your company is sought out, well my friend, you are on track to being awesome.
- Confidence is Key – I cannot go on about confidence enough in this post. If you don’t believe that you’re awesome, guess what? No one else will either. If you don’t believe in yourself, why would anyone else? Believe it or not, but you exude how you feel to everyone else around you, so if you feel sheepish and nervous, it will show. You must learn to put emotion inside you and show only what you want people to see. If someone threatens you, and it really does frighten you, but you look them in the face and smile like you don’t even care what they said, you will feel them cower before you, and that’s what you want. Not for people to cower in front of you; that’s just an example, but you want people to think that nothing phases you, and then, in time, nothing will phase you, because you will own every situation that you’re in. This is much harder than it sounds. You need to be able to keep the same face whether someone is pointing a rubber band at your, or a gun. Either way, you don’t want a bullet to the eye, or a rubber band, but 99% of the time that someone points a gun at you, it’s for intimidation purposes, and when you are not intimidated, the gun is therefore rendered worthless, all by the reaction you exude forth from yourself. Now don’t go getting your dumb-ass shot on my account, but never show anyone that they have gotten to you, and never, ever, lose your cool. Just continue what you’re doing, and acknowledge them at your leisure, whatever the situation may be. Remember, confidence will flow out of your pores when you have it, and your lack of it will show like your skin colour.
- Develop the aspects of yourself that aren’t so awesome. Remember that there is no standard set of things that everyone wants to be in life. For some, this may mean getting in shape. For others it may be growing musical talent, or reading more books.
- Do what you think; people will respect you. Have a weird idea? Make it a reality.
- Awesomeness will come from inside you. You probably don’t know it’s there. But it is inside everyone, it’s just waiting for you to open that door and set it free.
- Remember, some people will say they hate you but make sure to not let it affect you, as they could be just jealous.
- Don’t worry. Initially people may criticize you but later they’ll know your worth.
- Be for the sake of being, not for the sake of others’ seeing. In other words, be awesome because YOU want to, not because you feel you have to seem awesome to others.
- Being awesome can come from knowledge. Others will look up to you for your vast knowledge of all things interesting.
- Get good friends! If your friends don’t respect you, you might need new friends.
- Awesome is when you’re being yourself and being confident. Try new things and be creative!
- Find one thing you love, do it incredibly well, and you will be awesome.
- Become popular. It’s so easy when you are just incredibly nice to people and take charge. Be a leader, but don’t always take control of your surroundings.
- Do not try to become someone you are not, because while you might gain others’ admiration, you might lose self-respect which is worse. But you can start doing new things or changing interests.
- Do not do stupid things. Being awesome doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to do something dangerous, especially if it involves someone else who’s unwilling to do it.
- Don’t give out many free things to other people, or else people will only think you’re awesome because you give them stuff. Not true awesomeness.
- Do not be narcissistic and selfish, thinking only of yourself and your own needs
- Do not treat others badly because of your own situation
- Do not feel sorry for yourself, taking your aggressions out on others, and being a Debbie downer
- Do not be greedy, corrupt, dishonest, asinine, or any other type of monster
- Do not be pessimistic and negative
THE BENEFITS OF AWESOME
The benefits of being awesome are only limited to the amount of awesomeness you continue to attain. Like I said earlier, it’s a process, a journey. Being awesome can’t happen overnight, but if you start to practice it on a regular basis, you will begin to change as a person. More than likely, you will begin to become the person you truly want to be.
Here are some clear advantages that come from acting in a more awesome-like fashion:
- The energy of awesomeness you put out into the world causes a ripple effect and does make an impact
- You will begin to feel better and will want to be happier, healthier, and truly free
- You will be inspiring and help people in their lives, making a difference
- The journey of life will begin to feel just like that — a journey of the pursuit of greatness
FIRST STEPS TO AWESOME
I’m sure you have a good understanding of how to be awesome in your own life by now, but what about getting started? After all, getting started and taking action is one of the most difficult and underused methods of moving forward in one’s life. The good news for you is, now that you know the hardest part is just starting, you know what you’re up against.
Step 1: Listen to your inner voices
Pursue your happiness. Period. Listen to your deepest voices. What makes you happy? What brings you joy in your life? Focus on that and that alone.
Step 2: Feel the Need
If nothing in your life needs to change, then don’t. To change and grow, we have to feel the need to do so, that something isn’t where it needs to be, isn’t as good as it could be. If that’s not you, then stop now. You’re not ready.
Step 3: Start
If you do feel the need, then simply start. Fake it until you make it. Go be awesome.