Aura, power up the main engines, I thought to myself, ready to take my aged Rifter out around the station for some warm-up exercises. The engines hummed, vibrating with rising power … for a second, then sputtered and died. What the?
Twelve long hours later I realized I hadn’t grown as much as I had thought. The rage, the raw emotions, the feelings of betrayal from a ship of all things, made a long day much longer. I had originally thought I had narrowed the issue to the main power supply unit of the propulsion system, but after scrounging together my last isk to buy a new and upgraded unit, then figuring out how to fit it into the same physical dimensions, and wire up all the power leads of which I ended up with extra, the problem persisted.
For a while I sat on my ass, covered in grease and blood, simply wanting to cry. To quit. To give up. To be done with it. I’d had enough. There was only so much bullshit someone should have to put up with.
Enough with the self-pity already, I could hear her in my head. It’s not attractive at all and definitely not the man I came to know and want. Thinking of her was the last thing I wanted in my mind right now, but she insisted nonetheless. I knew if she would there she would’ve either laughed and walked away or whupped my pathetic ass. Things change. Nothing is ever as it was.
Most times that is because of our own choices. It’s not that life changes, or locations change even, but rather we choose different priorities.
I took the engine apart and did some more diagnostics. Eventually I discovered it was a small, but important relay board in the auxiliary fuel routing system. Any mechanic worth their salt would’ve found it far sooner but there weren’t many around to help me at that point in time. Again, choices. I had pushed many away in the process of feeling pushed away by others.
I returned the power supply unit, argued loudly with the manager (and with much embarrassment afterwards) about a five percent restocking fee, and picked up what I needed, depleting what isk I had left available. Cashflow was definitely something to be conscience of.
The board install was straightforward thankfully. After wiping my brow and cleaning my hands on a rag, I plugged in and gave the command. The Ripsack hummed to life, running more quietly than I had ever remembered.
Sometimes all that was required was a little trust and patience.