Tales from the Hole: Failed Logic


Two young Minmatar tribesmen, Chen and Roquish, are sitting one evening in the Black Hole Pub, drinking beer. They both work for a local megacorporation but neither is satisfied with their lives. Drinking at this particular “capsuleer frequented” bar is the closest they have come to feeling important in this universe.

Chen turns to Roquish and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. My family deserves better. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the University and sign up for some classes.”

Roquish thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave the pub for the night. The next day, Chen goes down to the nearest Republic University campus and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for four basic classes: Math, Science, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Chen says. “What’s that?”

The dean says, “I’ll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”

“Yeah.” replies Chen.

“Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a small plot of land.”

“That’s true, I do have some modest property.”

“I’m not done,” the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.”

“Yes, I do have a house.”

“And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.”

“Yes, I have a family.”

“I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.”

“I am heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.”

Excited to take the class now, Chen shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Roquish at the bar. He tells Roquish about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, Science, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Roquish says, “What’s that?”

Chen says, “I’ll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?”


“Then you’re a queer… ”

2 responses to “Tales from the Hole: Failed Logic

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