I sat in the dark and seedy bar, enjoying a few pints by myself, enjoying a bout of melancholy, introspective reflection towards my lives. The first cigar I had in months dangled casually between two fingers as I held it, the smoke dancing playfully until it dispersed into the ventilation system. The aroma ignited my nostrils with fond memories to add to my increasingly mellow state.
A live band played in the back, not too loudly, adding to the ambiance of the shadowy, comfortable environment. Conversations could still be maintained without screaming at one another, and I let my ears wander, listening to random chatter. Some were the usual small talk, others were drunk and raucous, but one in particular piqued my interest, a quiet dialogue between two males that appeared to be norms, though it was hard to tell and largely irrelevant. I strained to listen in without overtly eavesdropping.
I was a happy man. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and then decided it was time to get married. The planning went wonderfully. Both sets of parents helped us in every way. My friends were all happy for me and my girlfriend – she was a dream! There was only one thing deeply bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was really vivacious, only twenty years old and drop-dead gorgeous.
One day, the sister-in-law to be called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that it wasn’t long until the wedding day, that she had strong desires for me that she couldn’t and didn’t really want to overcome! She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with this, just come up and get me.”
I was stunned, frozen in shock as I watched her wiggle her way up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door, stepped out and walked straight towards my car.
Standing on the front path was my future father-in-law. With tears in his eyes, he hugged me and said, “Well done! Wonderful! We are so happy that you passed our little test of temptation. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!”
The moral of this story is….
Always keep your condoms in the car.
The three of us burst out in laughter at the same time. Of course, it was only awkward for me because I was sitting at the bar alone.
Oldie, but a goodie.