“Seriously, you?”

I nodded again.

He continued to shake his head in denial, a smug smirk etched across his pock marked face. “I can’t believe you, the ‘great’ Roc Wieler, ‘Man’s Man’, ‘Hero of the Republic’, ‘Scourge of the Amarr’, etc, etc, you actually dance?”

“Let me tell you something, junior.” I said aggressively, having no patience for this kind of narrow-mindedness, “Real men are confident in everything they do. I don’t care if it’s dancing, cooking, wearing sparkles on my face or kissing a male midget clown full on the lips … I’d still look good doing it!”

I leaned in closer, frowning sourly, until I was nearly spitting on the other fellow as I spoke. “And do you know why? Because I ooze more charisma from my left nut then you do from your entire pathetic existence. Laugh all you want, but at least I’m out there doing it! Man up or shut up!”

With that, I turned on my heel stiffly, me and my shiny disco pants walking away.

—

This recipe is in honour of all those men and women who dream of doing things but never do.

Salsa Chicken

PREP TIME: 5 minutes

COOK TIME: 15 minutes

SERVINGS: 4

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 package low sodium taco seasoning mix
• 1 lb chicken tenders OR boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut in strips
• 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 14 ounces diced tomatoes
• 1/3 apricot or peach preserves

METHOD:

1. Place seasoning mix in plastic bag. Add chicken. Toss to coat.
2. Heat oil in large skillet on medium heat.
3. Add chicken and stir 5 minutes or until chicken is lightly browned.
4. Stir in tomatoes and preserves. Reduce heat.
5. Cover and simmer 10 minutes.
6. Serve over rice, if desired.

NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION: per serving

• Calories: 285
• Fat: 9 g
• Carbohydrates: 51 mg
• Sodium: 488 mg (low sodium method)
• Fibre: 3 g
• Protein: 23 g