Him: We were at the food festival yesterday. My toddler son and I had to share an outhouse. We are both peeing when suddenly he moves back and freaks out because he’s missing the pee hole. I let go of my stream to help him and piss all over his pants and socks in the process which certainly didn’t help his freak out any.

After it was all done, for a minute I thought that’s payback for all the times he peed on me.

Does that make me a bad parent?

Me: (on the floor, peeing myself laughing)

Him: I kinda want to go drinking now so I can vomit on him too. I guess I’ll wait until he is in university for that.