I am thirteen years old.

I live on Mekhios, otherwise known as Sarum Prime III. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect place to live. I never want for food nor shelter. I always have work; and I am blessed enough to have been saved from my ignorant past. 

God loves me. He personally cares for me. Can you imagine that? The God of all loves me personally. It’s hard to wrap my head around sometimes, but thankfully the education collar helps me focus. The jolt of electricity it gives used to hurt, but now it just reminds me that I am free of my Minmatar prejudices and lies, and can fully embrace the glories of the Amarr if I am willing to reject and shun my old life.

The Amarr are the most advanced civilization in New Eden. They are the most peaceful society in history. They have wealth, power, and happiness for all their people. They were the first to discover space travel. They give of themselves freely to their neighbours, asking for nothing in return. I am so very lucky. 

—

“Patterns are holding. He’s accepting it.” the clinical voice says. “Good.” the military voice mutters. “Very good. Continue.” 

“It’s not going to work.” says a new voice. “You’re not gonna break him. He’s not some dog, he’s a bloody veteran.” There is an edge of disdain to this voice, an edge of worry perhaps? “Need I remind you of your place,” the military voice forces out between closed lips. “You did your job in luring him here. We are aware of your previous record with the subject, and your comments are duly noted. You are dismissed.” The new voice glares at everyone else, knocks some items off of a nearby table, then leaves dramatically.

“Pod pilots.” the military voice shakes his head in disgust.

—

It’s been a long day. We’ve been working since dawn. I don’t mind the labour really. Over the last few months my body has really begun to develop. I am growing toned and muscular. Mihan likes that too. And I really like her. 

We met here shortly after I arrived. Like myself, her family was a necessary sacrifice in order for us to freely appreciate what God, in His infinite wisdom, has given us the opportunity to experience. I used to miss my parents, but learned that they were the reason I was chained to a future without promise; a future without hope. I’m glad they’re dead.

“Roc!” I turn my head and smile. “Yes, Mihan?” I playfully ask. “Quit daydreaming and get back to digging. You know we’re supposed to finish this today.” I look back at my hands and see I am holding a power shovel. “But we’re not digging in the right spot. It’s not here.” I say. How do I know that? I don’t even know what I’m trying to unearth. It just felt right to say. Mihan gets that smirk on her face, and that fire in her eyes that makes me stir in my private areas. “Well then Mr. Knowitall, where is it?” She is fiercely radiant. I have never seen a more desirable girl. I want her so badly. Maybe if I find what we are searching for, we can take our relationship to the next level. Maybe I will finally become a man.

—

“Yes, yes. His neural pathways are following along nicely. Soon we’ll know the location, and then we can be finished here.” 

The military voice simply grunts in satisfaction.

—

“You know, Roc, I’ve been thinking.” Mihan starts. “We’ve been involved in each other’s lives for a long time now.” I nod in agreement. “You are the finest boy I have ever met. I know we’re more than friends, but how much more?” She bats her eyelashes at me, and my heart melts. I want to tell her I love her. I want to tell her how badly I hunger to be inside of her. She sees it in my eyes, in every moment of every day. She teases me with beautiful anticipation, always leaving me wanting more of her than she gives. It’s the perfect game. One I am only too happy to play. She turns back to her digging, and as her long dark hair falls over her shoulders, she says “Show me today, Roc. Let’s take this glory for ourselves. Let’s be the ones to find it. Let’s be the ones to receive God’s blessing.”

I take her hand in mine. “Let me show you where we should dig then.” She smiles, and we walk away from the dig site. 

Suddenly, I feel a stabbing pain in my head, worse than anything the education collar has given me. I grunt in pain, and fall to my knees. “Roc? Roc are you ok?” I open my mouth to speak, but the pain has silenced my voice.

—

“Dammit man! Are you completely incompetent? What is going on now? I am sick and bloody tired of your excuses.” the military voice screams. The clinical voice trembles, his hands scurrying between multiple diagnostic monitors as a master pianist does across his chosen instrument. “I don’t understand. All wavelengths are within normal parameters. He shouldn’t be responding this way.”

—

I can see it. I know where it is. I desperately want to show Mihan, but I can’t move for all the pain wracking my body. I fall hard to my side and begin spasming on the ground. “Roc? Roc! Can you hear me?” She hovers over me, her hands trying to comfort me, but there is naked fear in her eyes. Her voice distorts and echoes. Who is she?

—

“No adrenaline surges. Heart rate normal. Slightly elevated blood pressure. All brain activity normal. I don’t understand it.” The clinical voice motions for two attendants. “Get in there! Verify all the feeds are still attached. We need to find out what is causing this. If we lose him now, we’ve lost everything!” The sound of pressure sealed doors open and close, and two sets of rapidly moving feet can be heard. There is some brief chatter, then the sound of a large security door sliding back into the wall. Two additional sets of feet join the procession, but these ones are heavier, being clad in armoured boots. The resounding click of guns being cocked can be heard as the two attendants are given the signal by the security team that it’s safe to enter. They quickly go about their work, checking feeds, checking intravenous entry points, checking neural connections. It’s all in place. There is no logical reason for the readings the monitoring room is receiving. 

—

It’s day time. I see the bright sun beating down on me. Mihan is over me, cupping my face in her hands, smiling reassuredly like my mother does. Another streak of intense pain.

—

“Find out what is happening, and I do mean now.” the military voice growls.

—

It’s night time. We lay together in bed, something we’ve done before. This is the first time we’ve been completely without clothes. I feel the warmth of her breath on my neck as my arm holds her close. She runs a finger along my chest, sending shivers up and down my spine, and I lean down to kiss her. She slowly rolls on top of me, her pert, supple breasts brushing against me. It stiffens me instantly. It almost hurts. It hurts. IT HURTS! I scream in pain as my mind explodes in agony.

—

“Sir, we’ve found an anomaly. Look at camera drone two.” The clinical voice quickly responds to what the attendant says, driving his focus to the monitor for camera drone two. He increases the magnification slightly until he notices the discoloration on the front of the subject’s skull. “No…” he mutters almost inaudibly. “What is it?” the booming military voice demands. “A frontal hematoma. We’ve pushed his mind too far, and now we’re going to lose him.” All of their hard work; all their planning. Months of waiting for everything to fall in place, and now it was all going to fail, because of this cursed capsuleer. At least the subject will die his final death, not hooked into his pod. There was some small satisfaction in that. “You’d better stop standing there like a deer in the headlights and get your pasty ass in there and do something.” The military voice bellowed. “Yes, yes, of course. Right away.” The clinical voice does as he is told, but he already knows this will be the end of them all.

—

She is magnificent. I continue to thrust into her and she continues to impale herself onto my eagerness. It is the most glorious feeling I have ever experienced. She bounces up and down lithely, savouring every moment as much as I do. She is perfection. “Roc!” she yells. “Oh Roc!” the more she screams my name, the more primal my reaction becomes, until I am forcing myself against her as hard as I can. “Roc! Roc! Roc!” The pain shoots into my head again, and I can’t hear her clearly. “Roc! Roc! Roc! Oh Roc! Roc!” I don’t want to fail her. I can’t continue much longer. The pain is too much.

“Roc! Roc! Roc!” 

I release my love inside her, but it’s all I can do. My vision is darkening at the edges. My body is on fire. I want to tell her I love her. I try to form the words. I try to say what is most important to me.

Everything goes black.