Compromise does not mean giving up my position in favour of yours.

It’s only illegal if you get caught.

Even if you think he’s cute, Kevin Costner can’t act.

Socks never constitute a gift.

Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?

Two hot dogs and a beer at a sporting event do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.

There is no reason for guys to ever watch Men’s Figure Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.

The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets a gaming console. End of story.

The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

Phrases that may NOT be uttered man-to-man while lifting weights:

1. Yeah, baby, push it!
2. C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
3. Another set and we can hit the showers!