Letting Go


The comm beeped. One of my monitoring programs had flagged something of potential interest.

It will probably not be unknown to you that individuals as far removed as the Caldari State have been following your career with more than a small amount of interest.

Speaking for myself personally, I have found it enlightening to watch those who, when they move, engender ripples of causality all around them.

It is always with some concern when one notes the extended absence of an expected force, especially one of such tectonic scale magnitude.

We have noted your use of certain underground lines of communication. Unsanctioned, one expects, as is our monitoring of such back channels. Of late however, it seems to have gone dark. Darker than usual at least.

I come from a background as almost completely different from yours as it is possible to be, but I would ask that you accept my words as true when I say to you that I have the greatest of respect for you and your achievements.

You are a notable individual, and as such your absence has been noted, and is starting to become disconcerting.

Put another way, and far more bluntly Colonel…. where are you…?

Sera Khan

I looked at the words on the screen as if they were some distant dream, from a former life that may have once been mine. So much had changed for me in the last eighteen months.

The drone parts piled up across multiple benches were just one such example of the unexpected direction my life had gone. Most of my past was buried deep, a painful process of internal fire to stop living in the past, to realize things would never be as they were, to refuse to dream of the future but rather to fully embrace and accept the present. To stop my heart from breaking.

Part of that was the paring down of relationships, cutting out those that continued to take advantage of my kindness and loyalty, those who would not accept my romantic and passionate nature. Those who did not value me for who I truly was.

I went dark. The Republic Fleet gave up tracking me over a year ago. I had assumed the rest of the universe had moved on without me. I didn’t realize there were any out there that still thought I had influence.

I had been making time for old friends, neglected relationships, repairing bridges I had thought were forever burned. I was being a better man, a better person, less of a legend, more of a genuine reality. Being there when people needed me without the fanfare.

Change was hard. As I’ve said before, people like the idea of change. Nobody likes to be changed. Myself included.

My hand hesitated a moment over my comm, wondering if I should reply. My hand withdrew. It was a nice gesture on her part to reach out, but I was tired of fighting. Tired of the heartfelt agony that war brings. This universe hadn’t unfolded the way I had hoped.

Still, for a moment, a smile crossed my lips to know I was remembered fondly. What more could a man want?

P.S Dropping the EvE thing for a moment, hope you’re OK and that RL is good/busy.

Building your own business is the greatest challenge I have ever faced. Many life changes. Some good. Some bad. Regrets, wishful thinking, acceptance, fear, hope, tears, laughter – all part of life.

I had a big scare with a medical concern but it turned out to be a chemical imbalance in my diet so with a small adjustment and some reduced intensity on leg days, I seem to be ok.

Lost a close friendship or two along the way. Learning life is ever changing regardless of how much we wish it would stay still at times.

Overall, I am well. And I am truly thankful for you asking.

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3 responses to “Letting Go

  1. While we do miss Roc (and I say “we” because I know I’m not alone), we understand the need for a RL break. I’m more fortunate than others in that I am blessed to be your friend out of game, so I still get to keep tabs on you.

    Please just know that no matter what’s going on, no matter where you are in the ‘verse, you have a whole crew of people who are here for you. ❤

    P.S. I saw a great Halloween prank where a guy attached a ghost to his drone and flew it all over his neighborhood, scarring many children for life. This video was enough to make Bag want to buy a drone for himself. Luckily for him, I know a guy.

    • I’m blessed to know you as well.

      It is funny how Roc first helped me get back in shape and live a life of good physical health and then how Eve inspired me to get into drones, even though it’s not very Minmatar.

      I should start working on a Valkyrie model or something.

  2. I can only echo what Sindel said above. I know I still wander over here every single day on my morning reading tour, keeping tabs on you. Also, as someone who has now built several businesses I know exactly how demanding it can be. Hang in there and know we are all out here fighting our fights and hoping somehow we can help with yours.

    Speaking of which, I may be in the market for one of those new Inspire Drones from DJI… like soon. Gonna send you an email here in a minute.

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