Burning the Fat

I’ve seen all types at the gym: the knuckle dragging neanderthals with bad form lifting heavy weights, making sure to slam them hard on the floor so people notice what idiots they are in every way; the tarts that do their hair, wearing makeup and tight little gym clothes so that the gorillas will notice them; the half-assed “I’m at the gym” fatties, eating their donuts while on the treadmill. Yeah, I’ve seen it all at the gym.

Me? I don’t really care what others think of me when I workout. I’m there for one purpose, one mission, and nothing else exists except my routine. I grunt. I sweat. I scream occasionally. I’ve even cried and puked. Don’t like it, don’t watch me. I’m there to push myself beyond my limitations, to sculpt my physique into what I want it to be.

I know it’s a very long process. I know it will take longer than a few weeks, or even months. It’s a consistent lifestyle; something that involves patience and willpower. It’s my zen, so to speak.

Today, I decided to try something different; a no weights workout for strength and fat burning. I always enjoy trying new workouts, keeps the muscles guessing.

Here’s the workout. I seriously encourage you to try it.

Circuit 1: (no rest inbetween exercises)

  • 10 bulgarian split squat (that’s 10 per leg)
  • 12 pushups
  • 12 hip raises
  • 12 pushups
  • 12 hip raises
  • 30 second side plank (30 seconds per side)
  • 10 floor y raise (video shows on a ball. Do on floor instead)
  • 10 floor t raise (video shows not on floor. Do on floor, palms facing forward)
  • 10 floor i raise (video shows hot chicks because I couldn’t help myself. Same as t raise, except directly over your head, palms facing inwards)
  • 30 second side plank (30 seconds per side)
  • 10 floor y raise
  • 10 floor t raise
  • 10 floor i raise

That’s ONE circuit. Do three circuits, with 1 minute rest between circuits.

Smoked Beef Sausage

I already know what you’re thinking, and I bet you’re dying to hear the story of how my crew and I first came upon this recipe… wait, bad choice of words!

Well, no story for you, dear reader, as I am afraid it would disappoint. Let’s just say it involved some Amarr slavers(who lived the remainder of their lives as Eunuchs), some hungry Matari serving well-earned payback, and I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

Smoked Beef Sausage

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 1/2 pounds smoked sausage (12 inch preferred, but as I said, they were Amarr. Work with what you have)
  • BBQ glaze of your choice
  • 1 cup fresh apricot and/or fresh pineapple
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice

METHOD:

  1. Chop apricot or pineapple (or both!)
  2. Heat apricot/pineapple in small sauce pan.
  3. Strain when tender.
  4. Combine with lemon juice.
  5. Grill whole sausage, on uncovered grill, over charcoal briquettes for 5 minutes (nothing beats the taste of charcoal BBQed meat)
  6. Brush with glaze.
  7. Grill 5 minutes longer, turning and brushing with glaze occasionally.
  8. Granish with fruit pieces.

For added fun amongst your crew (male or female), garnish with mayonnaise and deep throat your smoked beef sausage. The winner is the one that doesn’t gag! (Wash it down thoroughly with a can of Quafe soda)

Ah, the good times we have in our adventures.